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jessebessey

Done with life
Mar 7, 2024
15
Hi if you read this thank you. My wife hates me and so do my kids. If I ctb because she wants me to.detox.from benzos at a rehab center for 30 days I feel it would be too painful and I would have permanent brain damage and pain from that and I am afraid I won't have ctb options after that. Should I ctb beforehand because detox would be incredibly painful and miserable. I don't think I could taper over two years as that would be just as painful. I don't want to leave people behind but I feel every choice is too painful and my wife already wants to divorce.me and kids don't care
 
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SomewhatLoved

SomewhatLoved

Bringing out the Dead and Searching for the Living
Apr 12, 2023
90
My dad was an alcoholic for most of my childhood. If you can, I recommend that you try to fix things. Even if your children and wife are upset at you, I imagine in some place they love you (at least your wife, as she chose to marry you at some point). Everyone has problems. It's possible to overcome these problems. I would say you should try rehab, but ultimately that is your choice.
 
Tesha

Tesha

Life too shall pass
May 31, 2020
416
I'm sorry you're suffering like this. Any addiction can seem overwhelming, especially when it impacts on everything and everyone around you - but they can be overcome.

What are you on, how much and how long have you been taking them? I agree that a 30 day detox program for benzos can be dangerous/ damaging. But… a long taper isn't necessarily physically painful - and if done correctly isn't painful at all.

However the psychological addiction may be the issue here, so getting the coping tools to help with your addiction will be essential.

I stopped high dose, long term prescription benzos cold turkey. I am suffering from fairly severe protracted benzo withdrawal symptoms (diagnosed by consultant). Please do NOT consider just stopping them.

CTB will always be an option to you, if that's what you decide - but I'm happy to pm if you want.
 
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JezebelDuLioncourt

JezebelDuLioncourt

Member
Feb 23, 2024
68
Hi if you read this thank you. My wife hates me and so do my kids. If I ctb because she wants me to.detox.from benzos at a rehab center for 30 days I feel it would be too painful and I would have permanent brain damage and pain from that and I am afraid I won't have ctb options after that. Should I ctb beforehand because detox would be incredibly painful and miserable. I don't think I could taper over two years as that would be just as painful. I don't want to leave people behind but I feel every choice is too painful and my wife already wants to divorce.me and kids don't care
WTF, man. Your post screams, "I'm a benzo addict. I care more about my benzos than my wife and kids. If they force me to treat my addiction, I will commit suicide and I'll blame it on my wife for divorcing me, and my kids for hating me." If you're at peace with that truth, then go ahead and do a Kurt Cobain.

First of all, detox from benzos isn't painful. Your dumbass is talking about opiate addicts who experience physical pain in the first few days of withdrawal. Benzo addicts don't go through that kind of shit.

Second, I've been to multiple rehabs, both in-patient and out-patient. Stayed for sixty days at a couple of them. Met many benzo addicts there and none of them--absolutely none, zero, zilch, nada--talked about being in pain. And no one sustained permanent brain damage simply by detoxing from benzos, you cottonheaded ninnymuggin.

Third, the majority of individuals I've met in rehabs had positive experiences there. They fed us well. We had fun group therapies. We had outings. We bonded. Etc. etc.

So stop talking like a sausage and either bite the bullet or eat it.
 
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TiredTurtle2

TiredTurtle2

Member
Oct 29, 2023
93
Hi if you read this thank you. My wife hates me and so do my kids. If I ctb because she wants me to.detox.from benzos at a rehab center for 30 days I feel it would be too painful and I would have permanent brain damage and pain from that and I am afraid I won't have ctb options after that. Should I ctb beforehand because detox would be incredibly painful and miserable. I don't think I could taper over two years as that would be just as painful. I don't want to leave people behind but I feel every choice is too painful and my wife already wants to divorce.me and kids don't care
I understand benzo withdrawal is scary, i was on a very high dose 4 times a day for 8 years.

I tapered off without any help as i was unable to receive any and it took me 9 months, while tapering i was irritable, restless, but had no pain it was uncomfortable at times but never painful. after i was finally off it i was convinced i had brain damage for another year and a half after i did go back to normal eventually and trust me, it sounds like your confusing tapering with a cold turkey withdrawal which is far different whic is far different and would be painful and possibly kill you, i have experienced both and would not wish the later on my worst enemy

Please please please give it a chance, i dont know anything about your situation you havnt said in your post but it sounds like your wife and children want you to get better and i truly believe that if i could do it anyone could do it.

If you try and fail and fail i will not judge any decision to ctb but please give detox a try and if detox doesnt work please attempt to do a slow taper. I will say that while its getting better, majority of doctors and rehab clinics dont know shit about benzo detox, i beleive it has to be done very very very slowly and at your own pace but alot of them try and force you off them quickly.

My personal method for tapering was to get sandpaper and grind a small amount extra off twice a week with the goal of being at 0 by the end of the year, towards the end i was literally licking a small amount of dust off of my fingers just to keep it in my system.

We all make our own decisions on this site and i wont judge you whatever you pick but i believe in you and pray that you give it a rehab and personal detox a chance, i thought i had no hope and in my case and many others it did get better.

And guess what, i still use benzos, however i understand the limits of tolerance and have not had withdrawals in years as i am able to control my use with the knowledge i learned from my addiction. best of luck and i truly believe in you and pray you are able to overcome this.

If you have any questions feel free to dm me
 
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