Venting Out if every mental illness I have, borderline is by far the worst

[Nekura]

It's like every emotion you have wants you dead, every feeling wants to end you. You feel so much so so fucking much, way too much for anyone to bear. You can't stop it, noone can, nothing can, it fills you up until you can't breath anymore. It feels like everything inside you is clogged, you wish it was. But still it continues on and on, on and on and on just enduring all of it. There will never be peace for me as long as I am in this world. I wish lobotomy was still an option, as long as I live noone would have to grief and I would be free from feeling.

 

[sweetdrowning]

Yep. I can completely relate. I've come to the conclusion recently that I can't be close to people despite that being the only thing I really want out of life. When your own brain is your enemy all the time and it's impossible to stop, I understand why you feel this way.

 

[Hollowman]

Lobotomy is an option. Psych meds gave me and a lot of people a chemical lobotomy.