Ordered SN

[mcp9090]

I just placed an order for 100g of SN a few minutes ago. The order hasn't been accepted yet, but I'm still feeling a bit relieved. I've been trying to get myself out of the gutter in the meantime. I would like to have the SN so if ever can't continue I don't need to suffer while I struggle. It'll be my way out once and for all.

Last year, I met my father and sister in Portugal for Christmas break. This year we plan to meet in Morocco. I'd like to wait until then for the very least. It would be nice to make a few more memories with them if I decide to leave this world. I'll be taking my girlfriend with me though. I'm not sure if it's a good idea anymore since we almost broke up twice in the last month. We agreed that we wouldn't talk for the rest of the week and this really makes me hurt, but it's probably for the best. It seems that once I find the motivation to keep going she is the one that breaks me again. I don't talk to anyone else except her. I have no friends in the city. I wanted to deny that she is the cause I want to CTB, but I'm starting to realize she is a big cause. I'm not sure if I should break things off with her or not. She is supportive and helpful in ways that I need, but never thinks about my mental health. Anyways, I'll try to keep updates on my thoughts and the order process through SS.

 

[Hollowillow]

Discuss your needs with her?

 

[Shiny]

Definitely make sure you watch the status of your purchase closely. When I first ordered SN online, the website sent me an email with a receipt for my order, and even said it was all accepted and approved. I checked my bank account and saw the pending charge. However, a couple hours later I was checking my account since I needed to purchase something else unrelated to CTB... and the charge was completely dropped from my account. I didn't get any emails saying my order had been cancelled or anything. I'm pretty sure they just noticed I was an individual instead of a company and canceled my order without any notice to me. If I weren't terribly afraid of making phone calls, I might have called to ask why it was cancelled, but I just silently accepted my fate.

I'm not telling this story to scare you or anything, but I just wanted to say you should definitely keep checking to make sure the order goes through.

I'm also sorry to hear you're suffering. I definitely understand how frustrating it can be when other people don't understand you. I hope that whatever you decide to do will work out for you ^^

 

[Hollowillow]

Was it DD? I hope IC will ship it. We need to pitch in to start a company? Go fund me

 

[MidnightDream]

Definitely make sure you watch the status of your purchase closely. When I first ordered SN online, the website sent me an email with a receipt for my order, and even said it was all accepted and approved. I checked my bank account and saw the pending charge. However, a couple hours later I was checking my account since I needed to purchase something else unrelated to CTB... and the charge was completely dropped from my account. I didn't get any emails saying my order had been cancelled or anything. I'm pretty sure they just noticed I was an individual instead of a company and canceled my order without any notice to me. If I weren't terribly afraid of making phone calls, I might have called to ask why it was cancelled, but I just silently accepted my fate.

I'm not telling this story to scare you or anything, but I just wanted to say you should definitely keep checking to make sure the order goes through.

I'm also sorry to hear you're suffering. I definitely understand how frustrating it can be when other people don't understand you. I hope that whatever you decide to do will work out for you ^^

Entirely depends where OP ordered from.
DD are now company only, and I think they are checking and cancelling orders.
IC know what they're doing so shouldn't be an issue. Says on their website they're checking IDs for ages, but not sure whether that's just a front.
N2 wouldn't have any issues at all, but I doubt OP used this one since they say it was a bank payment.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you would feel relieved at having the option of SN. Just having the option of a way out of this life for when the time is right can be comforting, none of us should have to feel trapped here with no way out.
It sounds like a difficult situation you are in but I wish you relief from your suffering in whatever happens.