Discussion Opinion - people who complain too much of SI just aren't ready to die yet.

[26mmmm]

I see way too many threads and comments complaining about SI, regardless of how peaceful or painless the method is.

I think people who are overly concerned with SI just aren't ready to go yet.
Not that SI isn't a real thing, but in my opinion those who have truly given up on life would barely face that struggle with most methods.


I personally have been suicidal on and off for years now, and at first I was probably in the same boat, but now, having accepted suicide as potentially my only way to be happy im alot more at peace with it.
I haven't completely given up on life so I still have some fear of it but that can be overcome too by desperation.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

that may be the case for some, but overall i don't think so.

i've completely given up on life & still have potent SI + general fear. i've tried everything you're supposed to do to be 'better'/'recover', to no avail. legit have been living the same day w slight changes for the last 6 yrs. no hopes/dreams/goals, no plans for any type of real future. i haven't had friends since i was 16 or a significant other in my whole life. now i have health issues that'll make it so i will never have either of those things, @ least not in the way i've always wanted. i literally have nothing to live for, & i still can't get myself over that ledge. if i had my dream method available to me, i'd def be gone by now.

kys is smthg our brains & bodies are legit wired against. it makes sense that some1 can want to die w every fiber of their being & still be unable to cross that line. a primal instinct for self preservation can't be overcome by logic alone. i was entrenched in my abject misery & suffering for so long it eventually turned into apathy. it's 10x harder to kys w/o that constant, overwhelming anguish as a driving force. def recommend doing it when ur emotions can still override the fear.

 

[UKscotty]

The only people who know how to overcome the SI are gone from this world now, they are eternally free.

For those of us still here, we cannot truly be ready to CTB until the moment we carry it out and it becomes the last resort and final act. Until then I believe there must be even the tiniest bit of doubt or hope in our minds.

We rationalise it by saying its too hard but objectively this is just not true. Our body is incredibly fragile and dies too easy. The blocker is the mind, trying literally to go against every last instinct inside us.

 

[offbalance]

that may be the case for some, but overall i don't think so.

i've completely given up on life & still have potent SI + general fear. legit have been living the same day w slight changes for the last 6 yrs. no hopes/dreams/goals, no plans for any type of real future. i haven't had friends since i was 16 or a significant other in my whole life. now i have health issues that'll make it so i will never have either of those things, @ least not in the way i've always wanted. i've tried everything you're supposed to do to be 'better'/'recover', to no avail. i literally have nothing to live for, & i still can't get myself over that ledge. if i had my dream method available to me, i'd def be gone by now.

kys is smthg our brains & bodies are legit wired against. it makes sense that some1 can want to die w every fiber of their being & still be unable to cross that line. a primal instinct for self preservation can't be overcome by logic alone. i was entrenched in my abject misery & suffering for so long it eventually turned into apathy. it's 10x harder to kys w/o that constant, overwhelming anguish as a driving force. def recommend doing it when ur emotions can still override the fear.

Would you say you fear death, or dying, or both? Just curious

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Maybe there is that something separating those who've already put up goodbye threads and really did ctb from whatever method they used and us who are still here right now, talking about ours fears but I'm sure even they had a hard time coming to actually pulling it off. I always think about the likes of @avaruus and @toofargone6969 from time to time with regards to this.

For those of us still here, we cannot truly be ready to CTB until the moment we carry it out and it becomes the last resort and final act.

Absolutely true, until we make that final step, we cannot be ready for it no matter what.

We rationalise it by saying its too hard but objectively this is just not true. Our body is incredibly fragile and dies too easy. The blocker is the mind, trying literally to go against every last instinct inside us.

I suppose so but the human body can be durable but yes, our mind tries everything in its ability to stop ourselves from doing putting ourselves in harms way. It's self-deception from a perspective of survival.

It would've been preferable to have access to better methods but those who overcame si and ctb with whatever they had are not here anymore. It's quite the psychological threshold to cross.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

Would you say you fear death, or dying, or both? Just curious

i fear my method unfortunately :p i fear the thoughts & feelings i'll have falling to my death. it only takes 500 milliseconds to form a thought. that's why i said if i had access to my dream method i would've been longgggg gone by now.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

I get your point. It does seem that way.
@UKscotty makes sense, we cant truly know until we've attempted and either succeeded/failed.

 

[passivethought121]

I agree. I want to die, I fantasize about it, but there are things in life holding me back. Excluding the lack of money or possible failure or paranoia I have; there are people in my life who I know somewhat like me.

 

[offbalance]

i fear my method unfortunately :p i fear the thoughts & feelings i'll have falling to my death. it only takes 500 milliseconds to form a thought. that's why i said if i had access to my dream method i would've been longgggg gone by now.

Ah, yeah. Well it sounds like you're pretty certain what you want, and you're afraid of SI kicking in at the last second. Maybe it's helpful to view it as "just SI" and nothing more. It only has the importance you put on it. It's a tricky, deceiving bitch and not objective, even in the most miserable of situations. Idk I've been practicing watching my thoughts and mindfulness and that helps me somewhat. Like other people have stated before it helps to think of all the misery.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

Ah, yeah. Well it sounds like you're pretty certain what you want, and you're afraid of SI kicking in at the last second. Maybe it's helpful to view it as "just SI" and nothing more. It only has the importance you put on it. It's a tricky bitch and not objective, even in the most miserable of situations. Idk I've been practicing watching my thoughts and mindfulness and that helps me somewhat. Like other people have stated before it helps to think of all the misery.

the SI is what's preventing me from getting over the ledge. it's like a physical barrier i can't get past. i no longer feel anything & haven't in awhile, so remembering the shittiness of my life doesn't do anything for me :p

i think i could escape it if i was under the influence, but i don't have access to potent enough drugs :// so i'm trapped in purgatory till i can get the courage to go through w it.

 

[who doesn't matter]

It's kind of true. Those who overcame SI had probably exhausted every bit of hope. For those who are still here are dangerously close to it but not there yet.

 

[CouldaHvBeenARock]

My opinion is simple SI is a b$&@$

You just have to overcome it; whether you gain the courage or find a workaround
My first attempts (partial)were definitely a work in progress and the SI was insane but I found sleeping pills

My researched method (full suspension) now still has what if I can't overcome SI covered

And there's also the fact that there are methods that have less SI (for me) for example anything I have to ingest cause I take several pills on a daily and some are disgusting vs strangulation

I would say if SI is something you haven't overcome; don't beat yourself up; in a perfect world we wouldn't have to deal with

 

[offbalance]

the SI is what's preventing me from getting over the ledge. it's like a physical barrier i can't get past. i no longer feel anything & haven't in awhile, so remembering the shittiness of my life doesn't do anything for me :p

i think i could escape it if i was under the influence, but i don't have access to potent enough drugs :// so i'm trapped in purgatory till i can get the courage to go through w it.

Well good luck. I can see why you would be more afraid with the jumping method. I am not sure if your brain would have enough time to register pain when you die on impact though.

 

[CouldaHvBeenARock]

that may be the case for some, but overall i don't think so.

i've completely given up on life & still have potent SI + general fear. legit have been living the same day w slight changes for the last 6 yrs. no hopes/dreams/goals, no plans for any type of real future. i haven't had friends since i was 16 or a significant other in my whole life. now i have health issues that'll make it so i will never have either of those things, @ least not in the way i've always wanted. i've tried everything you're supposed to do to be 'better'/'recover', to no avail. i literally have nothing to live for, & i still can't get myself over that ledge. if i had my dream method available to me, i'd def be gone by now.

kys is smthg our brains & bodies are legit wired against. it makes sense that some1 can want to die w every fiber of their being & still be unable to cross that line. a primal instinct for self preservation can't be overcome by logic alone. i was entrenched in my abject misery & suffering for so long it eventually turned into apathy. it's 10x harder to kys w/o that constant, overwhelming anguish as a driving force. def recommend doing it when ur emotions can still override the fear.

How do you deal with life, cause i feel like shit after failing my first attempt

It's like how do I live when I'm supposed to be ashes or sth

Genuinely asking

 

[sash]

I will die before the summer.
I expect some form of SI will kick in, especially as it will be somewhere nice & I'll want to stay a bit longer & listen to the birds and the trees or ? But thats not SI, its the beauty of nature that I love and miss so badly. Im so ready now. I know I wont be coming back. Where I go to die is where I will lay down forever.

 

[333s]

suffering for so long it eventually turned into apathy

that's very much it
the best time to ctb is ones first week on antidepressants when the energy kicks in and the suicidal thoughts are still here
one is more likely to die in psychosis/manic episode than in depressive phase
since being suicidal is unnatural one has to get in the different state of mind to do the thing without shaking from SI

 

[hikikomorizombie]

How do you deal with life, cause i feel like shit after failing my first attempt

It's like how do I live when I'm supposed to be ashes or sth

Genuinely asking

after both of my failed attempts i was v frustrated, but i was involuntarily hospitalized right after so i just dealt w it in the psych ward. don't really have any tips for that, sorry</3

if u wanna know how to live i am def not the person to askbut if u mean how i stay alive, i just don't leave my house or interact w the outside world/ppl, lol.

 

[26mmmm]

that may be the case for some, but overall i don't think so.

i've completely given up on life & still have potent SI + general fear. legit have been living the same day w slight changes for the last 6 yrs. no hopes/dreams/goals, no plans for any type of real future. i haven't had friends since i was 16 or a significant other in my whole life. now i have health issues that'll make it so i will never have either of those things, @ least not in the way i've always wanted. i've tried everything you're supposed to do to be 'better'/'recover', to no avail. i literally have nothing to live for, & i still can't get myself over that ledge. if i had my dream method available to me, i'd def be gone by now.

kys is smthg our brains & bodies are legit wired against. it makes sense that some1 can want to die w every fiber of their being & still be unable to cross that line. a primal instinct for self preservation can't be overcome by logic alone. i was entrenched in my abject misery & suffering for so long it eventually turned into apathy. it's 10x harder to kys w/o that constant, overwhelming anguish as a driving force. def recommend doing it when ur emotions can still override the fear.

Interesting.
I get what you're saying about our bodies being wired against suicide, but at some point, when you've given up on life, most people would just stop caring as much.

Maybe your suffering is just different than mine, maybe your life sucks but you just aren't as mentally broken as others. Don't want to dismiss your pain so correct me if im wrong.

Personally, I got pretty numb to the concept of death overtime too, so the graphic aspect of suicides don't bother me as much which is definitely helpful.

Regarding the last thing you wrote, attempting your life impulsively just sounds like a bad idea, it probably ends up in failure more likely than not.
It makes sense that the longer you think about it the harder it gets, but at the same time it'll allow you to come up with a method that'll suit you.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

I get what you're saying about our bodies being wired against suicide, but at some point, when you've given up on life, most people would just stop caring as much.

that's my whole pointlol. it doesn't matter if you've logically given up & don't care, that's the place i've been @ for the last 6 yrs. ur brain & ur body are naturally wired for self preservation, so it'll still fight, & u need smthg else to override it. whether that's drugs or strong neg emotions.

time it'll allow you to come up with a method that'll suit you.

as i said, if i had access to either of my dream methods, i'd be long gone by now :') unfortunately i dont & never will, so jumping is the method i have to settle for.

 

[DreamEnd]

I think SI can come into play no matter what. Unless you a severely disabled and in pain. Also most methods like sn make SI very possible to interfere. If most people had N we would see much more ctbs happend

 

[CouldaHvBeenARock]

It

after both of my failed attempts i was v frustrated, but i was involuntarily hospitalized right after so i just dealt w it in the psych ward. don't really have any tips for that, sorry</3

if u wanna know how to live i am def not the person to askbut if u mean how i stay alive, i just don't leave my house or interact w the outside world/ppl, lol.

I'm ready to catch that bus, so I'm definitely not asking how to live

it's more
How do you function as you stay alive

I was hospitalized both voluntarily then involuntarily for about 2 and half months
I swear I miss the hospital sometimes for whatever reason
Sleep is like the only time I feel okay, maybe

 

[26mmmm]

that's my whole pointlol. it doesn't matter if you've logically given up & don't care, that's the place i've been @ for the last 6 yrs. ur brain & ur body are naturally wired for self preservation, so it'll still fight, & u need smthg else to override it. whether that's drugs or strong neg emotions.


as i said, if i had access to either of my dream methods, i'd be long gone by now :') unfortunately i dont & never will, so jumping is the method i have to settle for.

Well I think that being desperate to die will help you override those instincts, but not in every case I now see.

Jumping definitely seems tougher than other methods, so I get you. Is there really no other method you can access?
I don't want to advise anything since that might be illegal but from what I've seen so far there seem to be methods that are alot better and are pretty easy to access.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

I was hospitalized both voluntarily then involuntarily for about 2 and half months
I swear I miss the hospital sometimes for whatever reason

omg me toooo!!!! i miss the psych wards i was in all the time :') i miss the people, the sense of community, the structured days, not having to find & provide food for myself. i think abt it a lot, esp the other patients i met. & getting high helps me, more or less.

 

[rozeske]

You seem fairly new. Give it some time, a few plans, ctb date getting close, facing your ctb location, close attempts.....you will soon realize how it is not related to being ready or not but the body's natural reaction to ending life.

 

[Nickreading]

So this is Dr. Thomas Joiner. He's pretty much THE name in suicide prevention/suicidology. Here he is giving a lecture in Isreal about people who want to die but are afraid of the pain and death and then there's people who are unafraid of pain but not suicidal. It's when there's overlap between the two groups, people who are suicidal and are at a stage where they are unafraid that, according to Dr Joiner, is when it becomes crucial to limit their access to means of suicide.



In 2014, the international association of epidemiology worked with the South Korean government to limit access to paraquat, a pesticide commonly used in suicides. The result? A

 

[26mmmm]

I will die before the summer.
I expect some form of SI will kick in, especially as it will be somewhere nice & I'll want to stay a bit longer & listen to the birds and the trees or ? But thats not SI, its the beauty of nature that I love and miss so badly. Im so ready now. I know I wont be coming back. Where I go to die is where I will lay down forever.

I respect you for still appreciating life. Alot of people here view life as an awful place based just on their own experience.

I think SI can come into play no matter what. Unless you a severely disabled and in pain. Also most methods like sn make SI very possible to interfere. If most people had N we would see much more ctbs happend

Thats literally one of the easiest, most painless methods out there. I find it hard to imagine that someone who really wants to end it all wouldn't be able to pull through with it because of SI. Not that it wouldn't show up but it can probably be overcome.

You seem fairly new. Give it some time, a few plans, ctb date getting close, facing your ctb location, close attempts.....you will soon realize how it is not related to being ready or not but the body's natural reaction to ending life.

Of course, im just saying it would probably be alot less severe or could be overcome despite being severe if a person has less to lose and has fully accepted it.

So this is Dr. Thomas Joiner. He's pretty much THE name in suicide prevention/suicidology. Here he is giving a lecture in Isreal about people who want to die but are afraid of the pain and death and then there's people who are unafraid of pain but not suicidal. It's when there's overlap between the two groups, people who are suicidal and are at a stage where they are unafraid that, according to Dr Joiner, is when it becomes crucial to limit their access to means of suicide.



In 2014, the international association of epidemiology worked with the South Korean government to limit access to paraquat, a pesticide commonly used in suicides. The result? A

That makes sense.
Personally, gore has gotten me to the point of not being afraid of death as much, but honestly its probably one of the factors that had led me to consider suicide.

 

[sash]

I respect you for still appreciating life. Alot of people here view life as an awful place based just on their own experience.

Hi. Thankyou. It is awful.
There are good bits if we look hard enough. I try to find some, even just for a minute. An upbeat song, a cloud. The plants are budding now. A beautiful old knobbly gnarly stick a dog has dropped after fun.
Its the people that break us, not everything else.
Life cannot be dark all the time.
It has been dark for too long.

 

[26mmmm]

Hi. Thankyou. It is awful.
There are good bits if we look hard enough. I try to find some, even just for a minute. An upbeat song, a cloud. The plants are budding now. A beautiful old knobbly gnarly stick a dog has dropped after fun.
Its the people that break us, not everything else.
Life cannot be dark all the time.
It has been dark for too long.

True. Goodluck with whatever path you choose.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I get the impression SI tends to come into full force when you are actually physically attempting. So- I guess- I'm curious- have you attempted OP? If you feel up to sharing that is...

I think it's probably one thing predicting how you'll feel and quite another when the time actually comes. I myself have never actually attempted so, I have no clue as to how strong mine might be.

I think I kid myself that I'll just breeze through it! I have a horrible feeling that I am actually kidding myself there though.

 

[sash]

Y

True. Goodluck with whatever path you choose.

You too. I wish you peace, whatever form it takes