Only here because I am afraid of death

[snooperdooper]

Anybody else feel like this? I want to recover, but not because I enjoy aynthing in life or strive to be something. I'm just so terrified of what comes after death. I don't want to stop thinking, I don't want to become nothing. But I also don't think I want anything with this life. I still lack aspirations and joy in life. It just feels like I am getting better for the sake of getting better.

 

[ocdrowsy]

I feel the exact same, I am so scared of what might come after it makes me spiral sometimes but I also feel like I do not belong here and it gives me so much grief. All we have known is being alive, being concious and being able to think and communicate so it makes sense that it's scary for that not to be there anymore.

I am getting better for the sake of getting better.

Especially this, alot of the time I am doing better or feeling better I still feel the same, i feel purposeless or low to no emotion so it makes me feel it is all pointless. However, I think while I am still here i feel it is a win-win to try all I can in the hope that maybe something will change or that I will finally find a way to live a content life. Trying to get better is already so hard as iit is so I hope and wish the best for you and that we find joy in this life.

 

[GhostInTheMachine]

Probability says there is nothing after, so you won't be around to worry about it anymore. I'm also afraid of death, but I understand that it's my in-built survival instinct firing off to keep me alive. Knowing isn't enough to get past it though, even if it'll pretty much be fine after I'm dead.

 

[snooperdooper]

Probability says there is nothing after, so you won't be around to worry about it anymore. I'm also afraid of death, but I understand that it's my in-built survival instinct firing off to keep me alive. Knowing isn't enough to get past it though, even if it'll pretty much be fine after I'm dead.

Said it perfectly. I won't care once I'm dead, which is good, but I won't care because I won't know, which is bad. I want to live solely because I have evolved to want to live and not through my own getting better. The only reason I am even attempting recovery is because the possibility that I might stop living entered my mind. Beforehand I was entirely content with death because I insisted to myself that there had to be something better waiting for me.

 

[2percent]

I think about in the following terms:

1. There is an after life:
a. You go to the good one: Great! Fear of death not necessary.
b. You go to the bad one, and it's infinite: Not great, but before 'your' suffering is 1/1000000th of the way complete, 'you' will have achieved complete ego death and will be completely unable to recall that there was ever a world, a body, an entity named '[your name]'. In the complete homogeneity of suffering, there will be no suffering. Great! Fear of death not necessary.
c. You go to the bad one, and it's finite: Not great, but even if it lasts 100000 earth-year-equivalents, it will be over infinitely sooner than eternity. Also see point 1.(b) about ego death. Great! Fear of death not necessary.
2. There is no afterlife: Your suffering is done. Great! Fear of death not necessary.
3. You are reincarnated: Great! Fear of death not necessary. Keep trying 'your' best.

 

[Lycoris]

I'm also scared of what comes next... even if that means i'll never have to suffer anymore i'll also never get to be happy or sad. It really does feel like being a gambling addict and being thousands of dollars in the "hole" thinking you will make up your losses eventually.