I do get that it's such an awful feeling knowing that you have a future filled with endless suffering ahead. I despise life so much, having to exist really is the worst possible thing. The truth is that in this life there is no limit as to how horrific things can get for us and all that we are destined for anyway is to reach a very old age and then just slowly die. I see no point to enduring this when instead I could be gone, but of course the problem is that suicide is made so difficult for us, with methods being inaccessible, chances of others interrupting our plans and risks of failure.
It's just so wrong how we cannot just peacefully exit for when the time is right for us. There is no benefit to trying to force people to stay here against their wishes, pro life people who wish to prolong others suffering are disturbing and it's depressing the thought of people continuing to procreate in such a cruel world where people have to struggle so much in leaving it behind.
But I hope that you find the freedom that you are looking for.