Unfortunately they're too tightly controlled because of drug addicts and overdoses, any legitimate pharmacy would be in hot water if they tried to sell them without prescription. The only good way to get your hands on them is through a doctor. You could make a thread asking people to dm you over the right darkweb markets, though that would be a leap of faith in strangers…I don't know much about it but I wouldn't suggest buying from there without being sure of your setup and the right places to look at, feds do their best to monitor things there. I do experience panic but I don't think it's debilitating enough and the doc I used to go to a year ago already knows I have a history of depression, I might just tough out my attempt without benzos…