i'm hoping this is my last post. i dont know what to do anymore. i have several different plans but scared of failing and scared of succeeding. i know im going to kill myself one day. ive told my family from the day i got diagnosed with my chronic illness. but thats not why i want to do it today. im used and thrown to the curb every single day. i have skills but not ones that are good enough to get me anywhere. here are my possible plans:
1. codine-covered tylenol + all of the other medications i take (beta blockers, pain killers etc). my dad has a drawer in his room full of medicines that weve been prescribed for surgeries that he thinks hes hidden from me. i know this wont be a good way to die and might not work, but my options are limited
2. crash my car or drive off a cliff or into a lake. only thing is i could crash and survive and possibly hurt other people. i would also be found quickly so theres a chance of being saved
3. hanging. ive figured out the right spot for almost instant black out. im not sure where i would hang myself at, but i know its a way i would succeed at. i dont want to think about my parents finding me. but i'll be dead at least.
4. run away to a forest and wait it out. it'll take a few days but its hot out and i have a heat intolerance, making me be able to become dehydrated much faster, especially if i dont take any of my medications. it would be painful but peaceful.
i dont know what to do anymore. im thinking of going for a drive and go out to the lake and just see if i actually go through with it. if not, at least i can watch the sunset. thank you to whoever reads this, and if i dont come back, thank you for reading and thank you for all the kind things that have been said and thank you for making me feel more comfortable with death. goodbye.
1. codine-covered tylenol + all of the other medications i take (beta blockers, pain killers etc). my dad has a drawer in his room full of medicines that weve been prescribed for surgeries that he thinks hes hidden from me. i know this wont be a good way to die and might not work, but my options are limited
2. crash my car or drive off a cliff or into a lake. only thing is i could crash and survive and possibly hurt other people. i would also be found quickly so theres a chance of being saved
3. hanging. ive figured out the right spot for almost instant black out. im not sure where i would hang myself at, but i know its a way i would succeed at. i dont want to think about my parents finding me. but i'll be dead at least.
4. run away to a forest and wait it out. it'll take a few days but its hot out and i have a heat intolerance, making me be able to become dehydrated much faster, especially if i dont take any of my medications. it would be painful but peaceful.
i dont know what to do anymore. im thinking of going for a drive and go out to the lake and just see if i actually go through with it. if not, at least i can watch the sunset. thank you to whoever reads this, and if i dont come back, thank you for reading and thank you for all the kind things that have been said and thank you for making me feel more comfortable with death. goodbye.
