CentreMid
Sorry
- Aug 23, 2018
- 478
TLDR: Speaking specifically about the pro-lifers in our everyday lives and inner circles, their reasons for wanting us to not die are selfish no matter which way you slice it. This isn't about pro-lifers who speak about suicidality in a general sense, rather, the people we know personally, who know about our suicidal tendencies, and who still insist on not respecting our choices.
Speaking specifically about the people in our circles that know about our suicidality, they don't actually care about us recovering or thriving. They're trying to save their own skin and keep us around to feed their own egos. The ways in which we feed into their egos varies, and most often, it's a mix of ways. Regardless of the reason, it's all selfish, and they would realize that their pro-life rhetoric holds little value, if at all, if only they would sit back and actually do some self-reflection.
For some, they are pro-life beacuse of uncertainty. People like to have certainty and control over their lives, and our suicides are a reminder that the people in our lives do not control us, and that nothing is certain. For those of us that will leave without a note, the people in our lives will never know if they were the cause of our deaths (or contributed to it), and they don't want to live with that uncertainty. They would rather have a clean conscience by keeping us alive instead of wondering if they were the reason for our deaths because the uncertainty is too much for them to handle. Even if we explicitly state that those people are not the cause of our deaths, they will feel guilty about not being able to stop it.
Stemming from the previous thought, the individuals in our lives who don't want us to die may also feel guilty about not being able to stop our suicide because they're afraid of not being good enough. They don't want to feel like they weren't good enough at keeping us alive. They never stop and think that we ourselves, the suicidal, don't feel like we're good enough. They fail to empathize and instead force us to remain alive for their own benefit. They expect us to stick around and give them positive affirmations, while giving nothing in return. But being "good enough to save somebody" means very little when it comes to the things people can't control, and the faster the pro-lifers learn that, the easier it will be for them to accept our deaths and move on.
Another way in which we feed into their egos by being alive is lonliness. Pro-lifers in our own circles don't want us to go because they're afraid of being alone. They would rather have the company of someone they don't particularly care about over nobody at all. Again, they fail to see how isolated we feel, and that, if they truly cared about us, they wouldn't keep stringing us along, just keeping us close enough so we won't leave, but never close enough for us to feel valued. They would either respect our choice to let go, or put more effort into knowing us and making us feel valued.
To recap, the pro-lifers in our day-to-day lives don't actually care about our wellbeing. They only care about us and how our suicide might affect them, not about what drove us to this point or how we feel. Until they learn to take a step back and do some self-reflection, learn to see things from other points of view, and practice empathy, any reason they have for wanting us to stay alive will always be selfish no matter which way you slice it.
Anywho, these are just my thoughts. To anyone who's read this far, thanks for reading! If anyone has anything to add, go for it
Speaking specifically about the people in our circles that know about our suicidality, they don't actually care about us recovering or thriving. They're trying to save their own skin and keep us around to feed their own egos. The ways in which we feed into their egos varies, and most often, it's a mix of ways. Regardless of the reason, it's all selfish, and they would realize that their pro-life rhetoric holds little value, if at all, if only they would sit back and actually do some self-reflection.
For some, they are pro-life beacuse of uncertainty. People like to have certainty and control over their lives, and our suicides are a reminder that the people in our lives do not control us, and that nothing is certain. For those of us that will leave without a note, the people in our lives will never know if they were the cause of our deaths (or contributed to it), and they don't want to live with that uncertainty. They would rather have a clean conscience by keeping us alive instead of wondering if they were the reason for our deaths because the uncertainty is too much for them to handle. Even if we explicitly state that those people are not the cause of our deaths, they will feel guilty about not being able to stop it.
Stemming from the previous thought, the individuals in our lives who don't want us to die may also feel guilty about not being able to stop our suicide because they're afraid of not being good enough. They don't want to feel like they weren't good enough at keeping us alive. They never stop and think that we ourselves, the suicidal, don't feel like we're good enough. They fail to empathize and instead force us to remain alive for their own benefit. They expect us to stick around and give them positive affirmations, while giving nothing in return. But being "good enough to save somebody" means very little when it comes to the things people can't control, and the faster the pro-lifers learn that, the easier it will be for them to accept our deaths and move on.
Another way in which we feed into their egos by being alive is lonliness. Pro-lifers in our own circles don't want us to go because they're afraid of being alone. They would rather have the company of someone they don't particularly care about over nobody at all. Again, they fail to see how isolated we feel, and that, if they truly cared about us, they wouldn't keep stringing us along, just keeping us close enough so we won't leave, but never close enough for us to feel valued. They would either respect our choice to let go, or put more effort into knowing us and making us feel valued.
To recap, the pro-lifers in our day-to-day lives don't actually care about our wellbeing. They only care about us and how our suicide might affect them, not about what drove us to this point or how we feel. Until they learn to take a step back and do some self-reflection, learn to see things from other points of view, and practice empathy, any reason they have for wanting us to stay alive will always be selfish no matter which way you slice it.
Anywho, these are just my thoughts. To anyone who's read this far, thanks for reading! If anyone has anything to add, go for it
