Discussion On my way to the spot

[fluorescentpearl]

I hugged my mom goodbye and walked out, to catch my train that's in 20 min, today it's cloudy and rainy my favorite weather, and there's a nice breeze, it's like the world is letting me leave in a nice day <3
I'm a bit nervous overall, but happy to be gone, I might buy supplies to write notes in the city, maybe a suicide note will help my family move on better?

 

[Die.A.Ria]

Its sad that life led you here but i hope you find peace!

 

[fluorescentpearl]

His family kicked me from premium Spotify so I can't even listen to music </3 that's weirdly very sad
I was hoping to at least listen to one last song before even reaching the city, now I'm crying on the train

 

[Tautochrome]

His family kicked me from premium Spotify so I can't even listen to music </3 that's weirdly very sad
I was hoping to at least listen to one last song before even reaching the city, now I'm crying on the train

Spotify isn't the only source of music, you know. Be well, I wish you peace.

 

[fluorescentpearl]

Spotify isn't the only source of music, you know. Be well, I wish you peace.

You're right, I'm going to listen to it on YouTube <3

 

[Dot]

Nt 2 b all pro-lfe or n.e.thng bt ths snds qute suddn

Slf ws tellng sme1 els recntly tht = nt wrth dyng fr sme1 wh/ wld nt di fr u

Slf d/ nt knw ur fll stuatn & ur choics r obvsly ur own bt jst hpe ths = nothng impslve

 

[fluorescentpearl]

Nt 2 b all pro-lfe or n.e.thng bt ths snds qute suddn

Slf ws tellng sme1 els recntly tht = nt wrth dyng fr sme1 wh/ wld nt di fr u

Slf d/ nt knw ur fll stuatn & ur choics r obvsly ur own bt jst hpe ths = nothng impslve

I understand, I don't think it's impulsive, I've been planning for years to go once he's gone, and now planning a week for the method I'll use today <3 I will either fall off a building or hang myself, both are I think very good methods, and I have a sedative and meds to take to make me drowsy and so on

Once I'm dead, since he is my soul mate, I'll be reunited with him regardless, I've only found proof pointing to that everywhere I looked this past week, 2 mediums in a row told me smt very similar, "my soul mate, like a white dog blinded by an empty shadow, remembers of betrayal by the hands of a look alike", and the second medium told me "someone with your face and your hands does not have your soul, yet harmed and betrayed, that's why you'll lose everyone you love"

To me that's just proof I'm not wrong and once I die I'll know the truth and such, that is my hope <3

 

[shibby]

good luck! we'll miss you and we love u. hope u rest peacecully!

 

[fluorescentpearl]

Im almost at the city! I'll get myself some supplies for my last notes and find a spot to write them

 

[Dot]

I understand, I don't think it's impulsive, I've been planning for years to go once he's gone, and now planning a week for the method I'll use today <3 I will either fall off a building or hang myself, both are I think very good methods, and I have a sedative and meds to take to make me drowsy and so on

Once I'm dead, since he is my soul mate, I'll be reunited with him regardless, I've only found proof pointing to that everywhere I looked this past week, 2 mediums in a row told me smt very similar, "my soul mate, like a white dog blinded by an empty shadow, remembers of betrayal by the hands of a look alike", and the second medium told me "someone with your face and your hands does not have your soul, yet harmed and betrayed, that's why you'll lose everyone you love"

To me that's just proof I'm not wrong and once I die I'll know the truth and such, that is my hope <3

Jst realsd ur partnr prbbly ctb & ws nt a brk-up

Am srry fr wht u r goin thru

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

No, that's not what a soulmate is, and you will not reunite.
He has the chance to reunite with you now, in this life. But he doesn't want to.
That's the proof. What you interpreted as proof from mediums is not proof, it's a deeply flawed and confused interpretation. The proof lies with him and with his actions.
But I wish you peace without him.

 

[fluorescentpearl]

No, that's not what a soulmate is, and you will not reunite.
He has the chance to reunite with you now, in this life. But he doesn't want to.
That's the proof. What you interpreted as proof from mediums is not proof, it's a deeply flawed and confused interpretation. The proof lies with him and with his actions.
But I wish you peace without him.

I don't know that I want to believe you, if it's okay, I would rather die with hope
Well it seems there'll be a change of plans, the building is off limits, and so is the hanging place, unless I can find the building by myself (never been there before) I'll have to ctb via high speed train crash

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I don't know that I want to believe you, if it's okay, I would rather die with hope
Well it seems there'll be a change of plans, the building is off limits, and so is the hanging place, unless I can find the building by myself (never been there before) I'll have to ctb via high speed train crash

Not accepting the truth doesn't stop it from being the truth.
The building & hanging spot being off limits was a sign. Take it. Go home.

 

[Ben 111]

I wish you find freedom and peace

 

[Dot]

No, that's not what a soulmate is, and you will not reunite.
He has the chance to reunite with you now, in this life. But he doesn't want to.
That's the proof. What you interpreted as proof from mediums is not proof, it's a deeply flawed and confused interpretation. The proof lies with him and with his actions.
But I wish you peace without him.

W8 = fiancee alve or nt

Am cnfusd

 

[fluorescentpearl]

Not accepting the truth doesn't stop making it true.
The building being off limits was a sign.

W8 = fiancee alve or nt

Am cnfusd

He's alive, just left me a week ago, but I'm not changing my mind about this, I hope you can respect that

 

[GroundControl]

I'm sorry people aren't respecting your decision, florescent. I hope you find peace in whatever way you choose.

 

[sadbh—itstimetogo🤎]

He's alive, just left me a week ago, but I'm not changing my mind about this, I hope you can respect that

So you're not going to try to recover at all? One week is super fresh for a break up. What is the reason to not try to move on, if you don't mind me asking?

One thing about heartache is that it almost always gets better with time. What's the rush in killing yourself?

 

[fluorescentpearl]

I'm sorry people aren't respecting your decision, florescent. I hope you find peace in whatever way you choose.

Thank you.. I know my reasons aren't perfect and great, but it's my reasons, and my life, I'm hoping to ctb by train now, I'll wait at a train stop for a transiting train that passes at around 120km p h and look down so it hits my head, seems pretty foolproof to me

So you're not going to try to recover at all? One week is super fresh for a break up. What is the reason to not try to move on, if you don't mind me asking?

One thing about heartache is that it almost always gets better with time. What's the rush in killing yourself?

As I've already said on another post, it's not possible for me, besides the breakup I have other reasons, this is just the tipping point, I was surviving for him, and now that he's gone I don't really have a point in this world anymore

 

[Die.A.Ria]

Thank you.. I know my reasons aren't perfect and great, but it's my reasons, and my life, I'm hoping to ctb by train now, I'll wait at a train stop for a transiting train that passes at around 120km p h and look down so it hits my head, seems pretty foolproof to me

As I've already said on another post, it's not possible for me, besides the breakup I have other reasons, this is just the tipping point, I was surviving for him, and now that he's gone I don't really have a point in this world anymore

Omg your so brave i would be too frightened hope you find peace :)
Its sad seeing you go but i guess its whats best

 

[fluorescentpearl]

A train should transit the station at around 16:00 or 16:03..im hoping I'll get to go under that one, if not I'd have to wait til 18 which I cando't anymore
If today fails then I have to go tomorrow and I really don't want to wake up another day in this suffering
I really, really miss him, I miss his love, I miss his everything, I feel so empty, I just want to die today and let it all go away.. I feel so hopeless and anxious now that I could fail, I don't want to live after today, I really don't

 

[sadbh—itstimetogo🤎]

Thank you.. I know my reasons aren't perfect and great, but it's my reasons, and my life, I'm hoping to ctb by train now, I'll wait at a train stop for a transiting train that passes at around 120km p h and look down so it hits my head, seems pretty foolproof to me

As I've already said on another post, it's not possible for me, besides the breakup I have other reasons, this is just the tipping point, I was surviving for him, and now that he's gone I don't really have a point in this world anymore

I understand. If I didn't have one thing keeping me too, it would be a lot easier to kill myself.

A train should transit the station at around 16:00 or 16:03..im hoping I'll get to go under that one, if not I'd have to wait til 18 which I cando't anymore
If today fails then I have to go tomorrow and I really don't want to wake up another day in this suffering
I really, really miss him, I miss his love, I miss his everything, I feel so empty, I just want to die today and let it all go away.. I feel so hopeless and anxious now that I could fail, I don't want to live after today, I really don't

What time is it for you currently?

 

[fluorescentpearl]

I'm hoping they'll find this account when Im gone and read everything I've said so they know why I did it and how I felt
I really hate this, I feel so horrible now that my surefire way is done for, why couldn't it go through? I'd be at peace by now, and instead I'm running between train stops terrified about what to do and anxious about needing to ctb, whys life this way, why can't I just die calmly

 

[Ben 111]

Im so sorry..i feel the same way.i just tried killing myself and ended up not doing it successfully..my head is throbbing right from co exposure

 

[fluorescentpearl]

Well I missed the train, now I feel worse than before
Tomorrow it's our anniversary and I'll spend it alone and trying to commit suicide, I had everything ready, I feel so useless

 

[Ben 111]

Ur not alone

 

[fluorescentpearl]

I understand. If I didn't have one thing keeping me too, it would be a lot easier to kill myself.

What time is it for you currently?

It's 16:00, tthe train ended up passing over 10 min early, at 15:57,I feel pathetic
Now I'm stuck at a random train stop with no way home
God couldn't today be any worse, this is so pathetic, I just wanted to die, I was so happy to, why don't things go my way for once
I could just sit here and wait two hours for the next transiting train

 

[Ben 111]

You wanted to throw urself under the train or?

 

[fluorescentpearl]

But I don't know if its worth it

You wanted to throw urself under the train or?

My plan Initially was a fall off a building, that got ruined, so it changed to being struck by a train going 120 km p h past a station, which on my head should result in certain death, but since the train left I donk't now what to do and I feel horrible
I could walk along the tracks and see if I can get hit by a train leaving the station
God I feel so horrible and pathetic

 

[Ben 111]

Sounds brutal but I wish you luck, life is really not worth it