I believe I have pure OCD. It's a living hell - all I think about is numbers, numbers, numbers - I don't have many physical compulsions like most OCD types - mostly mental compulsions. Like if I'm reading or typing something and it has a specific number of words or it doesn't have a specific number of words, I have to change it. Or if I'm reading, talking, writing, reading, breathing and it doesn't match my 'numbers' I have to change it. It feels like it consumes my life.
Do you take medications? Have you consulted a specialist? Please take care and I promise it gets better
I've been in several psych hospitals (not completely related to OCD) and tried a million meds. None work - I'm seeing a therapist but I just started with her so it might take a while
hot
ă…¤
- Mar 3, 2024
- 173
I have had OCD since I was 14. For me it was compulsive thoughts. As an example: When I was cutting vegetables, my head suddenly told me that I should hurt someone with the knife (obviously I don't want to hurt anyone or never intended to, but as a 14 year old I was still extremely afraid of myself ). I thought I was going crazy, only later did I realize that they were just thoughts and not me and that's not who I am. I had OCD in my online presence, I always had to delete my social media accounts. I had to or I thought that something bad would happen to me.
It will get better I promise keep hope
It's too tiring I understand. But yes it gets controllable using meds I guess. I got diagnosed with early stages of OCD 5 months prior and the months preceding that were waking hell for me. But it gets better you aren't a bad person I promise
_Minsk
death: the cure for life
- Dec 9, 2019
- 1,112
All kinds of OCD is torture man I understand.... My theme is p3do... And I have had homosexuality theme too
sancta-simplicitas
Arcanist
- Dec 14, 2023
- 466
My most common theme revolves around psychosis. Which is is a hell all in itself because 1) I have hallucinated before due to traumatic stress and 2) my apartment is so loud I keep hearing random unexpected noises without a visible source all the time. I often tend to spiral with the fact that the Earth is constantly moving for some reason too.
DistraughtWolf
Member
- Dec 11, 2023
- 16
I think i've had OCD for 7 years or so, but it has been very mild and i don't want to go around saying that i have it since i'm not 100% sure.
Having to wash hands several times and not "infecting other items" for me has been relatively mild. But for some reason in the last 2 years i've developed "digital OCD".
I have to save important files at specific a time, creating new accounts and not "doing mistakes that ruin them" play video games specific way, do things in certain order. Overall it's digital stuff and especially with numbers, time and keeping things "clean".
I think i've gotten bit better at it since lately i haven't had strong urges to keep repeating everything like before. I often think how incredibly stupid it is to even care about this stuff, but i just can't stop it.
Having to wash hands several times and not "infecting other items" for me has been relatively mild. But for some reason in the last 2 years i've developed "digital OCD".
I have to save important files at specific a time, creating new accounts and not "doing mistakes that ruin them" play video games specific way, do things in certain order. Overall it's digital stuff and especially with numbers, time and keeping things "clean".
I think i've gotten bit better at it since lately i haven't had strong urges to keep repeating everything like before. I often think how incredibly stupid it is to even care about this stuff, but i just can't stop it.
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Silent_cries
Too many flashbacks, can't take it anymore! Help!
- Aug 10, 2021
- 1,416
Am I allowed here if I suspect I have OCD but am not diagnosed? I struggle alot with obsessions and compulsion. I have certain rituals I have to do everyday to prevent bad luck and people from suffering. Some comes and goes randomly, while some are consistent. It's pretty tiring sometimes. Ik autism, witch I do have does come with some ocd type symptoms too, but I feel like what I have isn't just autism. A lot of the compulsions I have does not fit the typical autism ones.
I feel you, I too have alot of compulsion related to numbers although I personally have alot of physical ones. I have to do certain rituals a certain number of times, and if I see certain numbers it means bad luck and I have to see the good luck numbers to undo it. In fact, during some of my worst periods I couldn't think of anything but numbers. It was extremely tiring and time consuming. It was horrible! Fortunately for me, my compulsions are mostly on the milder side, although they can still be pretty tiring. It's definitely still a struggle, by any means!
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Silent_cries
Too many flashbacks, can't take it anymore! Help!
- Aug 10, 2021
- 1,416
My theme is avoiding bad luck + keeping ppl from suffering. It's pretty grueling. Btw, is it normal for compulsions to vary in severity and frequency depending on life situation and level of anxiety in general in ocd? Coz I have alot of compulsion and rituals when my anxiety level is high, and much fewer when my anxiety level is low. They never rly completely dissapear though. I'm not diagnosed, but I do suspect I have ocd bc I keep getting increasingly more and more rituals, more than I feel like is normal with just autism. I hope it's ok that I ask btw, I'm still trying to research ocd, and half of that is talking to ppl who has it and experiences it yk. Thanks in advance anyway.
Mine is straight forward. I always feel dirty and I have to have constant showers throughout the day. I have to brush my teeth every single time - after I eat anything - regardless of whether it is a meal or a snack. I cannot.wear the same piece of clothing a second time.once I have put it on once - it has to be washed thoroughly before I can wear it again. Mine is connected to cleanliness. Also there are certain things that have to be done on even numbers. Not diagnosed though.
Silent_cries
Too many flashbacks, can't take it anymore! Help!
- Aug 10, 2021
- 1,416
My compulsions are going haywire today. I have to do various rituals and none-stop. It's so exhausting! AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
sancta-simplicitas
Arcanist
- Dec 14, 2023
- 466
I'm no expert but I'd say so since I notice it in myself too. The nature of compulsions is to gain a sense of control over the anxiety, they're essentially safety behaviors running haywire. So when the anxiety increases for whatever reason, the compulsions likely does too. I tend to not think in terms of diagnoses as per a lot of psychologists nowadays, but more in feelings and behaviors. Do you have obsessions? Do you have compulsions? Are they something that causes suffering for you? That's really all the information you need imo. I hope you manage to sort it out.
I wish. My life was ruined by a specialist (in trauma though) and I don't see myself being comfortable with seeing one again any time soon.
Silent_cries
Too many flashbacks, can't take it anymore! Help!
- Aug 10, 2021
- 1,416
That does make sense actually. It definitely has become a comfort to me, hence why I'm unable to get out of it. It wasn't much of a problem to begin with, but it has worsened over the years to the point where it's getting exhausting and sometimes it hinders me from doing every day things. I've had compulsions where I couldn't use the bathroom bc something bad would happen if I went inside, and so I'd find other places to do my business and that was unpleasent to say it the least... Yeah, I'm almost certain I have ocd at this point. Tysm :)I'm no expert but I'd say so since I notice it in myself too. The nature of compulsions is to gain a sense of control over the anxiety, they're essentially safety behaviors running haywire. So when the anxiety increases for whatever reason, the compulsions likely does too. I tend to not think in terms of diagnoses as per a lot of psychologists nowadays, but more in feelings and behaviors. Do you have obsessions? Do you have compulsions? Are they something that causes suffering for you? That's really all the information you need imo. I hope you manage to sort it out.
I wish. My life was ruined by a specialist (in trauma though) and I don't see myself being comfortable with seeing one again any time soon.
Are you asking me? I have many, I won't say them all, but I'll say a few. I have one where I HAVE to scratch myself as soon as I'm itchy to get rid of the itch immidiately bc the longer I'm itchy, the more dark power builds up witch can cause both bad luck and suffering. This one is very dehabilitating as I find myself scratching myself ALOT. I'm scratching myself as we speak in fact. I also have one where I can't step on any kind of lines or borders on the floor or the ground, and if I do so, I have to step on it again to undo it. I also recently got a new one where if I misspell a word when typing on a keyboard I have to delete and rewrite the entire word bc it get's contaminated. Thankfully that's not a problem when writing by hand or else I'd loose my mind! >_<
Basicly, I have both physical and digital ones, and internal ones as well where I have to do things inside my mind. I rly can't escape them no matter where I go :/
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I was the poster girl for OCD. Then I began to question everything I’d been told about mental illness
When I sought help for crippling invasive thoughts, I was told I had a disease like any other. But I wasn’t able to recover until I understood the fallacy at the heart of mental healthcare
