Obstacles

[Connor36082]

I need to kill myself soon but there are some things that are in my way.

I talk to my Dad a lot about my feelings, because he suffers with depression as well. He said that if I killed myself he would kill himself as well. I 100% believe him. I know if I go it would destroy my family.

That's why I'm still here. I have no purpose. I don't have a life, I lay in bed all day, everyday. People say I can change that, but I don't want to. I want to kill myself.

How do I get over this barrier?

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

If only we knew, we probably wouldnt be here in these numbers. Its just something we have to figure out on, and it will take time. Im sorry to hear about your struggle as well, as we all are going through that. I wish you luck

 

[Connor36082]

If only we knew, we probably wouldnt be here in these numbers. Its just something we have to figure out on, and it will take time. Im sorry to hear about your struggle as well, as we all are going through that. I wish you luck

That's where I'm at right now. Just waiting until I get so depressed I just do it. I'm at rock bottom anyway, but I just need to find that final push I need.

 

[_Minsk]

sorry to hear you suffer so much:/ maybe he has also no other reason to stay like you since he would also go if you were gone:/ not sure if it helps:/
your dad seems to be a nice person, like you, i bet every dad would love to have a son like you, you care a lot!

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Well, then what does your dad suggest you do?

Maybe you can have a conversation about why he stays alive.

Rationally, if you're his only reason for staying alive, then.... you're free to go.

Maybe it's emotional blackmail, because he's putting responsibility on you to keep you from doing what he doesn't want you to. That's not saving you, that's putting you in chains and imprisoning you. He's now one more damn burden for you to carry around. I'd hand that right back.

If he wants to save your life because he wants you to live, not because you want to live, then how does he suggest it become liveable and bearable, and worth saving?

 

[Connor36082]

sorry to hear you suffer so much:/ maybe he has also no other reason to stay like you since he would also go if you were gone:/ not sure if it helps:/
your dad seems to be a nice person, like you, you care a lot!

My Dad is very caring and understanding. I'm very lucky to have him which makes it all so much harder.

Well, then what does your dad suggest you do?

Maybe you can have a conversation about why he stays alive.

Rationally, if you're his only reason for staying alive, then.... you're free to go.

Maybe it's emotional blackmail, because he's putting responsibility on you to keep you from doing what he doesn't want you to. That's not saving you, that's putting you in chains and imprisoning you. He's now one more damn burden for you to carry around. I'd hand that right back.

If he wants to save your life because he wants you to live, not because you want to live, then how does he suggest it become liveable and bearable, and worth saving?

I thought maybe he's bluffing, just to try make me feel guilty, but honestly he's just desperate to try change my mind. I try to tell myself that once I'm dead anything that happens to my family after won't matter, but no one alive knows what happens after death which scares me.