Venting nothing to see here

[bipbapbop]

I'm so ready to go tonight. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. Just drift away forever. I've been taking a ton of stimulants lately and I thought it was making me feel better, but I think it's just giving me the energy to go through with CTB. When I was just lying in bed all day, I didn't have the energy to actually do anything, but now I'm thinking about making a glass of SN. I'm totally unprepared and just ate so I won't, but I really want to.

nothing to see here, just complaining i guess

Spoiler: :(

:(

Spoiler: sad

im so sad, man

 

[SomewhatLoved]

Sorry to hear you're feeling so tired with life man.

Wish you luck with whatever you choose to do

 

[bipbapbop]

Sorry to hear you're feeling so tired with life man.

Wish you luck with whatever you choose to do

Thanks. I know I'm not going to do it. Just wish I could.

 

[SomewhatLoved]

Thanks. I know I'm not going to do it. Just wish I could.

If you feel like you need to talk to someone feel free to PM. I'll be up for probably another 45m before bed

 

[GreenOctober]

What's a stimulant (I could look it up but where's the fun in that )

 

[bipbapbop]

What's a stimulant (I could look it up but where's the fun in that )

It's any drugs that cause you to feel energized. So caffeine and amphetamines are stimulants. I'm not on anything illegal just fyi (not that anyone here cares).

 

[GreenOctober]

It's any drugs that cause you to feel energized. So caffeine and amphetamines are stimulants. I'm not on anything illegal just fyi (not that anyone here cares).

I care because you do

 

[bipbapbop]

I care because you do

holy shit jumpscare

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry u have a rough day. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

 

[GreenOctober]

holy shit jumpscare

My fault bro, don't be afraid his music's alright

 

[bipbapbop]

I'm sorry u have a rough day. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Rough life, am i right?

Ty for the kind words

My fault bro, don't be afraid his music's alright

Yeah I'm listening to it now. Not bad

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Rough life, am i right?

Ty for the kind words

Yeah I'm listening to it now. Not bad

Yeah, i meant life. Sorry :-(

 

[bipbapbop]

Yeah, i meant life. Sorry :-(

Nothing to apologize for

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so tired of suffering in this existence, I really wish there's the option to just never wake again. But anyway best wishes.

 

[bipbapbop]

God when I just think that nothing can get worse, it all just gets so much worse.

I'm so sad

I just want to be loved

I'm so scared

Please
Holy shit I'm going to have to do it tonight I am in too much pain

 

[Linda]

God when I just think that nothing can get worse, it all just gets so much worse.

I'm so sad

I just want to be loved

I'm so scared

Please
Holy shit I'm going to have to do it tonight I am in too much pain

Don't ctb on impulse. If you are sure that it is time to go, then work out calmly how and when you will do it, and then proceed as seems appropriate.
If your thoughts are all over the place - and that's the impression I get from your post - it might be better to wait for a while until you are calmer before making any decisions.
Whatever you choose to do, we are here for you.
Good luck.

 

[bipbapbop]

Don't ctb on impulse. If you are sure that it is time to go, then work out calmly how and when you will do it, and then proceed as seems appropriate.
If your thoughts are all over the place - and that's the impression I get from your post - it might be better to wait for a while until you are calmer before making any decisions.
Whatever you choose to do, we are here for you.
Good luck.

I'm just so scared and hurt

I want it to stop
Please

 

[Linda]

I'm just so scared and hurt

I want it to stop
Please

I understand. We're here for you.

 

[rozeske]

I'm just so scared and hurt

I want it to stop
Please

As so sorry you are hurting so much. We are here for you. I hope you can feel better soon

 

[Endisclose]

I'm so ready to go tonight. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. Just drift away forever. I've been taking a ton of stimulants lately and I thought it was making me feel better, but I think it's just giving me the energy to go through with CTB. When I was just lying in bed all day, I didn't have the energy to actually do anything, but now I'm thinking about making a glass of SN. I'm totally unprepared and just ate so I won't, but I really want to.

nothing to see here, just complaining i guess

Spoiler: :(

:(

Spoiler: sad

im so sad, man

I hope you don't do anything impulsive. I can only cite the case of clown_17. Poor guy thought his SN was expired, took it impulsively, found it was good enough and would have ctb'ed but ended up being rescued. He can't get his hands on SN now. I can't imagine what he must be going through.

 

[bipbapbop]

Thanks everyone. I have spent the day crying but have mostly calmed down. I also haven't eaten anything for over 24 hours so if I need to do it tonight I should be successful.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Thanks everyone. I have spent the day crying but have mostly calmed down. I also haven't eaten anything for over 24 hours so if I need to do it tonight I should be successful.

How are you doing now?

 

[bipbapbop]

How are you doing now?

Laying in bed trying to stop crying. Very dehydrated. I don't think I'll CTB tonight.

Ty for asking

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Laying in bed trying to stop crying. Very dehydrated. I don't think I'll CTB tonight.

Ty for asking

Been there, feel better soon (and maybe try to drink something)

 

[bipbapbop]

Been there, feel better soon (and maybe try to drink something)

Ty, I will update this thread if I do end up making a choice. The night is still young.