Nothing gets better

[miseryismybsf]

I just hate it man, I have no will to live, nothing in my fucking life is getting better but worse.

More than a month ago, I decided to just accept everything and try to fix my life, but god it didn't got any better.

I decided to study but I couldn't do it, I already failed two term exams. My academic session is now half way through and here am I who couldn't even understand chapter 1 of any fucking subject.
I'll have to repeat my class.


Then comes this person, who used to be my best friend and my life, it's been 4 months since she left and nothing feels same now, she was the only person I felt comfortable talking with. Seeing her in someone else's arms hurts my soul, ik she's happy and I should be happy for that but man, how could you move on so easily and why I have to suffer, and think about you 24/7 in my mind.

And let's not forget about my body dysmorphia, such a lovely thing who basically ruined my whole life, who destroyed my self esteem and confidence, who made me suicidal in first place, I wouldn't even wish body dysmorphia to my worst enemy.
This fucking brain parasite eats you up every single moment.

I just wanna die, I should have been a little more brave when I hanged myself, if that day I had hanged myself for a bit more all my suffering would have ended.

Life sucks, if I wasn't born with my choice let me atleast die to my choice.

 

[ConstantPain]

I'm so sorry that you feel that way but so do I. We can all have different reasons for and different feelings leading us to dislike life but the facts remain that no one chose to be born and we are all going to die. I'm glad for the people who somehow love life but I never have. I hope for a natural death but don't know how much longer I can wait and I agree, I should have the choice when to go.