Help Not sure if i should write a letter

[Freebandzgang]

I want to write a letter to explain why i did it and why no one is to blame for it but me. If i dont then my family will search everywhere to find a reason for why i did it. But i dont want to write one because i cannot stomach writing one. I sit down and start crying and cant focus. Idk what to do. I just wish i could disappear and no one notices.

 

[glitterycheese]

write it for yourself

 

[Freebandzgang]

write it for yourself

I cant write it, whenever i try i always fail.

 

[Zoro1029]

I am conflicted myself on what to write if anything. Something like "dont be sad im finally at peace" or " I needed the pain to end". My family is aware of my history of depression and anxiety so it wont neccasarily come out of nowhere once I do.

I had an idea of saying goodby to each of the people that I have had meaningful relationships in my life. Unfortunatley my love for any of them has faded too much over the years. Even my niece who I would've died for years ago I dont really have an attachment too anymore. My family arent abusive outside of my dad( he is better nowadays that hes older and stopped drinking) but I still have no love for them. I used to think I was broken cause I couldnt feel love anymore but maybe that is just how I am now.

 

[Freebandzgang]

I am conflicted myself on what to write if anything. Something like "dont be sad im finally at peace" or " I needed the pain to end". My family is aware of my history of depression and anxiety so it wont neccasarily come out of nowhere once I do.

I had an idea of saying goodby to each of the people that I have had meaningful relationships in my life. Unfortunatley my love for any of them has faded too much over the years. Even my niece who I would've died for years ago I dont really have an attachment too anymore. My family arent abusive outside of my dad( he is better nowadays that hes older and stopped drinking) but I still have no love for them. I used to think I was broken cause I couldnt feel love anymore but maybe that is just how I am now.

I understand you. I dont have a "good" relationship, i just have a strong relationship with most of my family, They will be shocked and confused about my death. I dont want to write a letter because its too emotionally taxing but i want to tell them why ive done it and how much suffering ive been in for so long so idk

 

[FuneralCry]

I just want to disappear from this existence as well, if it's up to me I'd choose to permanently erase my existence. But anyway I wish you the best, I'm sorry you have to suffer, it's so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing.