Venting Not planning to ctb at the moment but it's getting harder to keep living

[mono]

I feel too guilty to vent to my friends about this because they are dealing with their own issues and I don't want to make it worse for them so here we are.

I've been feeling really tired lately. It's gotten to the point were as soon as I come home from work I either sleep or lay in bed for hours trying to fall asleep. I've been completely neglecting myself and I started self harm again. Sometimes I can force myself to be productive but that's only when I absolutely need to.

The thing is I don't have any plan to ctb just yet, I guess I might have some hope for things getting better but that's what I've been saying for the past few months so I'm really starting to doubt that. I always say "just make it to Friday" and when Friday comes the relief doesn't last enough for me to really get the break I need.
I'm genuinely surprised I've been able to keep a job this long because of how poorly I preform. I might try to stay alive a little longer just to see how things turn out for me but I genuinely don't see a future past 25.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Sounds like a classic case of depression you are going through. I know how exhausting it is to battle through life when you feel like this.
It just sucks the life out of you.

 

[mono]

Sounds like a classic case of depression you are going through. I know how exhausting it is to battle through life when you feel like this.
It just sucks the life out of you.

Yea I know it's depressiin, I've been struggling with it for a while now but it just seems to keep getting harder. It sucks but I guess that's just how life is sometimes