Apologies if this has been posted before but is there anyone who feels they were not meant for life? Like they were not supposed to be born or were a mistake. That's mainly the reason I want to ctb. I always felt I was a mistake. Ever since I was young, I was never comfortable around other people and struggled to fit in. I have no motivation or ambition and don't know what I want to be. My family hates me and my dad has openly admitted that he wishes I was never born and it would be better for my family if I died. They pushed me to go to university after high school even though I didn't want to. I had to drop out due to depression and social anxiety and move back in with them. Unfortunately, they don't believe in mental illness so they think I'm just being lazy. Everyday, they constantly nag at me to pick a course and go back to uni but I don't know what to do. I feel so lost and confused.
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guessilldie
Member
- Jun 17, 2018
- 23
It feels like you are an alien or something isn't it... it's a god awful thing
YaYaDr
Student
- Jun 26, 2018
- 128
I wouldn't necessarily say I felt like a mistake, but I definitely always felt out-of-place in society. I suppose that is why I find comfort in this forum, because here I can find others who I can relate to. There's a saying that I am not sure to whom I should accredit to: we are all same in our uniqueness.
Definitelyworried
Member
- Jun 19, 2018
- 551
I don't feel out of place entirely, but I do feel lIke I been killed by this world, I do feel and always felt confused, so in a sense I do feel out of place and not mentioned for this world.
Imaginos
Full-time layabout
- Apr 7, 2018
- 638
I sometimes like to think that I'm apart of some alien race and that I'm just disguised as a human to perceive the barbaric things they do on as visceral a level as possible and that I'll report back to my "real" planet after death. Then I remember how awful a fate that would be since I'd still be alive, and thus deprived of the rapturous bosom of non-existence. If there's one regret I have in life, it's being born. The gravest mistake my foolish parents ever made. A mistake that will haunt me for the rest of my days. Who knows, though? Maybe this universe is just another place's hell and I've been sentenced to rot in it. If so, then I guess I was always doomed.
Think about this a moment. We could be tired of life and considering suicide and then having a fatal accident that left us disabled and completely unabled to do it in years. Or you could be recovering of a depression and begin to seeing future like cheer and optimism and then being hit by a car and dying in the moment. Cancer cure could be discovered and in this moment a meteor could smash us all, ending life in this planet. You could be a generous persin trying to help others ever you can but losing everything one day, being homeless and being witness of how nobody helps you now you are in problems. They could be supporting somebody without problems and who doesn't need so much help, sure. As usual.
It doesn't care what you want to do because you haven't the last word. You aren't who controls his own fate and life will do you absolutely everything it wants to you.
Our existence hasn't any purpose and we are here for no apparent reason. Just struggling and trying to survive as we badly can, like if this was wild nature and tgis society the mindless beasts, useless predators which only reason to be here is harm others and causing massive amounts of suffering.
But even if all this were not true, we are still animals, we aren't inmortal and EVERYTHING we achieved will be thrown away in the moment we die. Also we will be extinct someday, doing al our effort even more useless.
Seriously, why people continues making babies as if there was no tomorrow? I would understand this if at least life could be enjoyable. But almost nobody could give a worthy life to their son in their situation. A factory of pain, creating new tortured minds everyday, that's what universe is.
It doesn't care what you want to do because you haven't the last word. You aren't who controls his own fate and life will do you absolutely everything it wants to you.
Our existence hasn't any purpose and we are here for no apparent reason. Just struggling and trying to survive as we badly can, like if this was wild nature and tgis society the mindless beasts, useless predators which only reason to be here is harm others and causing massive amounts of suffering.
But even if all this were not true, we are still animals, we aren't inmortal and EVERYTHING we achieved will be thrown away in the moment we die. Also we will be extinct someday, doing al our effort even more useless.
Seriously, why people continues making babies as if there was no tomorrow? I would understand this if at least life could be enjoyable. But almost nobody could give a worthy life to their son in their situation. A factory of pain, creating new tortured minds everyday, that's what universe is.
