Story Not good enough

[Terrible00]

(Long post)
I just can't handle myself anymore.
Today I knew something was going on behind my back.
Of course, It's my little brother. What's the worst that could happen.

Well, the friends that talk shit about me behind my back is currently using him to gather information about me and my own life.
And it happens to be the little brother that hates me the most, so of course. My little brother and my past "friends" talks everyday about everything wrong I've been doing both lies and true stuff and exposing my secrets. And just today my little brother took pictures of me when I barely noticed.

And he told me "I will tell them EVERYTHING about you" with a very punchable face.
And he lays down on his bed with his phone in hand, and starts typing.
My expression darkens when I see him type.
I wouldn't hurt him, even though I wish I could. It's not his fault, It's my fault for being a terrible person.

I really thought I lost contact with my past friends, but for the past months they have had full contact with my little brother. No matter what I tell him about them, he straight up says "Why can't you just stop talking about them".
It leaves me speechless, I have nothing to say back. I cannot talk about THEM but he and they can talk about ME.

I am weak and terrible, that's just how it is. After he finished typing I turned off my pc and went outside in sorrow.
I was planning to just run away, despite having no destination.

But of course, everything I do has something to always ruin it all to make me suffer more.
My dad was standing there talking with another guy, he noticed me at the entrance and said hi.

At this point, I couldn't just run into the forest when he was standing there. So I just stood somewhere else waiting and staring into the forest thinking about how terrible this world is. I stood there for a long while planning about the day I would hang myself.
My belt was too short so I needed something longer.

I thought to myself if I could ask my dad that I wanted to make a swing in the forest sometime, and that I needed a rope that could hold body weight.
We had a lot of planks around our house that could be used to make stuff so I thought it was a perfect plan. He would not suspect anything.

When I went inside it felt like I was gonna fall apart. So I never asked him about the "swing" I would "make". Instead I was sitting alone next to the stairs thinking about how I'm not good enough for this world.

But I'll make sure to get a rope, full or partial is not completely planned yet for me. Thanks for reading, if you even did.

 

[𖣂𖣂𖣂.]

Same situation my own family talks behind my back and when I stand up for myself I get backlash no matter what I do I'm always in the wrong. I get out to avoid being in that household but when I come back all I get is hate and attitude. I'm tired of everything I tried everything to help me cope but it seems like I have no more options.

 

[MrDarkness]

I had to live like that for years, my friends would constantly shit talk me and insult me, I couldn't leave them because I was afraid to be alone. I have major trust issues, I'm planning on dying soon, idk what method yet, but I'm sick of living a life of poison

 

[weedico]

I've always been the punching bag lol, eventually all punching bags give.

 

[FuneralCry]

Humans really are just too unnecessarily cruel in this dreadful world, I find it awful how other people just make existing even worse. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Why would you give him information unless if you really want that information out. I know I won't give out information unless I want it out there and there is no one that is capable of manipulating me to get information out of me unless if I want it out there.

Your brother reminds me of someone whom my mum told not to help and even my sister said to me he will end up like my brother always relying on others for money and stuff. Knowing what I know now I should have perhaps listened to my mum because my mum told me she send him a message laying it on him last year because she was tired of him asking her for money etc and she even told me to stop giving him money all the time hahaha!

Oh and him I know all of his secrets too that he used to tell me because he said he trusted me and I won't even mention them because he is that irrevant to me now that he is left on read. I always wonder why he would say I was such a pillar supporting him bla bla bla and how he trusted me with his secrets, so I don't care if he hates me now because he is just a lost cause. His mum and my mum barely talks and I know so much about that relationship. My mum used to bitch about him being so irresponsible when it comes to women that i even ended up offering for him to come here, I would say these things to his face if I want to but he won't say anything to my face. My mum even made a comment that she felt he only reached out to her when he needed money and when I started helping him with money she said he barely reached out her hahaha! He is truly a lost cause and so is his sister who my mum was bitching for using my mums money to buy a car without asking her first and saying that's a lack of respect of using someone's money without asking them.

PS - you can tell him this! ( Mr D or S).