Story Not exactly wanting too kill myself, just wanting too be patched up by medical professionals

[nonliv]

I've had a couple of bad mental episodes throughout yesterday and today. I don't want too do anything, I just want too rest. I've bought a few razors that are sharper (I'm hoping) and I'm thinking of cutting deep into my arm (higher up, more on the shoulder part). I'm a bit scared if I'll be put in a mental hospital if I get treated, but I've been patched up before and they just let me decide weather I wanted too go to a mental hospital or not. I just want an excuse to rest. I wish I could lay in a hospital for a while. Even one day off would be preffered, so I'm thinking of making a wound as big as I can. I'm not good at cutting, I always shake and I never go far. I feel a bit disappointed with myself, not wanting too die but being too scared to even hurt myself sufficiently to be taken seriously. I guess I just want too know if anyone has done this

 

[Whale_bones]

It's really dependent on where you live, but in many places, hospital staff aren't respectful or kind to people who have self-harmed. It's unlikely you'd get a bunch of time to really rest in a standard hospital either; ERs are loud and busy, nurses and staff check on you and ask you questions frequently. With something like cuts, those can be addressed medically quite fast, then they'll need to discharge you to have room for other people.

Going to an inpatient psychiatric unit means you could have days worth of time, but I'm sure you're aware of the downsides of that since you say you don't want to go there. Some people do actually find it a "break" going to an inpatient unit, but it's very dependent on what the units in your area are like and what your individual needs are.

I think there are so many options that are better to try if you simply want time to rest. I don't know what is preventing you from resting at home, but I'm assuming you mean something like work or college classes where you're expected to show up daily. If you're considering physically hurting yourself to get out of going, to me that's "sick" enough to justify not going; you clearly need a rest or break of a some kind, so calling in sick is completely justified IMO.

And then if you're seeking support or comfort, I would by far recommend looking for a caring, respectful therapist who you can see-long term. I know that's a process to find one and not an immediate fix, but if you find a good one you'll have someone who you can reliably go to for breaks from mental pressure from then on.

And besides that, SaSu is a great place to vent about whatever you're going through and have people who've been there and don't judge. I just wouldn't recommend self-harming with the plan of going to a hospital (when you don't want to be admitted to inpatient psych), because it's such a gamble and you don't want things to get worse when you already feel pretty shitty.

 

[sillypuppygirl]

wow i completely relate to how you feel. its gotten to the point where i feel like i have to prove to people that i am mentally ill to get some rest. i have tried to go to college twice now and dropped out both times because i just cant go every day, its way too draining. the judgement i felt from everyone around me because of dropping out was sad, really. sometimes it feels like the only way people will take us seriously is to hospitalise ourselves, which is pretty shitty. i wish people would just believe us that we want to rest, even if it seems like thats all i ever do, lie around all day. personally im going to the doctors soon and telling them that going to work every day is unbearable and im going to get a note for work to reduce my hours. but at the same time, i would like to hurt myself to the point of hospitalising myself as a big f you to everyone who looked down on me for failing. id love for them to feel guilty, just how they made me feel :/

 

[nonliv]

It's really dependent on where you live, but in many places, hospital staff aren't respectful or kind to people who have self-harmed. It's unlikely you'd get a bunch of time to really rest in a standard hospital either; ERs are loud and busy, nurses and staff check on you and ask you questions frequently. With something like cuts, those can be addressed medically quite fast, then they'll need to discharge you to have room for other people.

Going to an inpatient psychiatric unit means you could have days worth of time, but I'm sure you're aware of the downsides of that since you say you don't want to go there. Some people do actually find it a "break" going to an inpatient unit, but it's very dependent on what the units in your area are like and what your individual needs are.

I think there are so many options that are better to try if you simply want time to rest. I don't know what is preventing you from resting at home, but I'm assuming you mean something like work or college classes where you're expected to show up daily. If you're considering physically hurting yourself to get out of going, to me that's "sick" enough to justify not going; you clearly need a rest or break of a some kind, so calling in sick is completely justified IMO.

And then if you're seeking support or comfort, I would by far recommend looking for a caring, respectful therapist who you can see-long term. I know that's a process to find one and not an immediate fix, but if you find a good one you'll have someone who you can reliably go to for breaks from mental pressure from then on.

And besides that, SaSu is a great place to vent about whatever you're going through and have people who've been there and don't judge. I just wouldn't recommend self-harming with the plan of going to a hospital (when you don't want to be admitted to inpatient psych), because it's such a gamble and you don't want things to get worse when you already feel pretty shitty.

Thank you so much for this. I probably read it way too late. I have tried to go after what I wanted to do, but It hurt really bad and I was scared to go any deeper (like I always had, never hit a nerve sadly). I have therapy, which I will see in a few days, medication aswell. I just had a really rough couple of days, so my brain decided this was what I needed to do. I'm glad it didn't work out and I'm glad you responded with such kind words, really I thank you