Venting Not cutting is so hard

[bluexapalooza]

Basically abstaining from cutting so I can be able to sleep in my room again so I can hopefully off myself. But damn it's so fucking hard!! I hate playing the long game

 

[vesisika]

Ooof I feel you, I am like one week away from being a year clean from cutting. It's really draining

 

[bluexapalooza]

Ooof I feel you, I am like one week away from being a year clean from cutting. It's really draining

Congrats! That's a huge accomplishment

 

[vesisika]

Congrats! That's a huge accomplishment

Thanks <3 I am actually pretty proud of myself! I hope your anguish eases, it's really painful and it sucks and if you are celebrating New Years today I wish you more pleasant days for the future. You got this!

 

[Act Two]

I am like one week away from being a year clean from cutting.

tell me your secrets...

 

[vesisika]

tell me your secrets...

this comment made me tear up a little because I realized I have actually achieved something my secret is rubber bands. Lots of them. First it was very frustrating bc it doesn't feel like cutting but oh boy if you put some effort to you rubber banding technique it can hurt like hell. Other thing I am doing is when I get the urge I just lay down in a fetal position and kinda lock my body into it and I won't move until I am sure I won't cut. And now I have 390 days. It's motivating bc I don't want to start that counter ever again.