I really wish existence came with the option of a permanent offswitch so one could just escape from all the suffering in a peaceful way. In my case I'm certainly comforted by the thought of eternally ceasing to exist, in fact eternal nothingness is all I see as desirable because after all one cannot suffer from the absence of everything.
I believe death to be nothing more than an dreamless and eternal sleep where all is forgotten about and to me this couldn't possibly be something bad. In fact it's the opposite, all that is bad is ultimately as a result of existence after all, I find it terrifying how there is no limit as to how much one can suffer as long as they exist. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the peace you search for.