Not allowed to live

[annxietty]

I shouldnt be allowed to live. Im selfish, I should just die, I swore I would kill myself the moment I started hurting others, but I didnt, I am now breaking a family, MY family... but instead of dying I would like to try and run away very far, where no one I know can reach me... If I wasnt a coward...

My mom just argued with my sister because of things Ive told her. I live with my sister, her husband and my nephew, I have 0 friends, so when something happens the only person I can talk to is my mom, not that I can tell her everything but Is the only person I feel safe enough to talk about this... My sister is pregnant, and there is gonna be an event very soon for my nephew, my parents were invited, but my mom refuses to go and she doesnt check on my sister and her pregnancy almost never, I feel this is my fault, for telling her things... Now my mom doesnt want to talk with my sister, and viceversa, and even tho my mother has told me is not my fault... it obviously is... how many people I make sad? and worried... and angry... omg, im a monster, I thought my life was uneventful, that I couldnt make decisions, that the only thing I did wrong was existing... im breaking my family... my sister deserves a mother, my sister deserves more atention, my sister wants my parents to be more involved in her life, god I want to die, dissappear, Im so sorry... I truly am... I will shut up, I will swallow everything even if it kills me... I dont deserve waking up tomorrow... but maybe I dont deserve an easy death like dying sleeping...

Thank you for reading.

 

[MercenariesofMidgar]

<3 I hope you can feel better again... you deserve to have a friend-- or just someone you trust to confide in. Bottling up your emotions could only make it worse i feel :( Are you confessing things to your mother that makes her hesitant to talk with your sister or?

Also is that Kaine's concept art? It's been so long since ive seen that art. Makes me wish I could stay around till the next big yoko taro game