Venting Non-Tiktok users VS ppl around them

[idfwlnh]

I have social issues. But I do understand the importance of having relationships. I often think the more relationship you have, the more social power you have. So despite my awkwardness, I still tried and speak up to ppl around me.

First, a little about me, in my country, Reddit is extremely rare used, then comes Discord, and also any other English media is uncommon. However, I use Reddit and Discord most of the time as my social media. However, the youth here prefers Tiktok, Instagram and Threads. I use none of them. Even if I do, I would prb end up in English media.

So return to the main thing I wanna talk about, whenever I try to join in with their conversations, I just basically can't catch up. When I ask them, they'd say it's tiktok trends blah blah, then they'd grew tired of even explaining, thus I also am afraid of asking in the first place. But really, I can't just because of ppl around me that I change my preference in what I like to watch. This happened for years, ever since I was in secondary school, like 12 13yo or so.

And sadly, I'm not academically good enough or mentally strong enough nor well-off enough to study abroad in a English speaking country just to have friends. Still, I don't like Tiktok

 

[swan7o7]

I feel so old when I say that lol

 

[idfwlnh]

I feel so old when I say that lol

True! I'm an average GenZ but feeling like a boomer when joining their conversations lol

 

[LilGhost]

I have social issues. But I do understand the importance of having relationships. I often think the more relationship you have, the more social power you have. So despite my awkwardness, I still tried and speak up to ppl around me.

First, a little about me, in my country, Reddit is extremely rare used, then comes Discord, and also any other English media is uncommon. However, I use Reddit and Discord most of the time as my social media. However, the youth here prefers Tiktok, Instagram and Threads. I use none of them. Even if I do, I would prb end up in English media.

So return to the main thing I wanna talk about, whenever I try to join in with their conversations, I just basically can't catch up. When I ask them, they'd say it's tiktok trends blah blah, then they'd grew tired of even explaining, thus I also am afraid of asking in the first place. But really, I can't just because of ppl around me that I change my preference in what I like to watch. This happened for years, ever since I was in secondary school, like 12 13yo or so.

And sadly, I'm not academically good enough or mentally strong enough nor well-off enough to study abroad in a English speaking country just to have friends. Still, I don't like Tiktok

Trust me bud, changing yourself doesnt worth it. I use insta but i cant imagine talking about tik tok trends, sounds hella boring. And if thats smth like AI slop . You are dodging a bullet
My advice: try having token of your interests on you. Like I have bunch of shark stuff i crochet, my anarchy patches (careful if its not safe to be open with your political views), pokemon hood etc, etc. You just need to find people who are into same shit as you. Using your appearance as a way to say "this is what I like" helps a lot, cause people you approach/that approach you can immediatly see if they click with you or not

 

[idfwlnh]

You just need to find people who are into same shit as you. Using your appearance as a way to say "this is what I like" helps a lot, cause people you approach/that approach you can immediatly see if they click with you or not

Right! This is the most straight forward way, though it does take a lot of courage to do so! I'll try to use that advice sometimes! Thks

 

[webb&flow]

Right! This is the most straight forward way, though it does take a lot of courage to do so! I'll try to use that advice sometimes! Thks

It is also a fantastic conversation starter as well >:3. A way of broadcasting who you are within even speaking. Clothing is a symbol, and a way of expressing (expression is done through symbols and receptions) similar to how words are.

So despite my awkwardness, I still tried and speak up to ppl around me.

What is awkwardness? It's more of a behavior than some objective inherent quality. By choosing to interact with others more, even when its uncomfortable, you are exerting control over what you do. And the more you interact, the more fluent you are. Keep doing this, you are growing your social power the more you interact.

Even if you don't make "friends" per se, you are developing yourself as a person. You learn more about people. Both in general, and in specific. And not only that, but you even learn more about yourself as well. When you try to open up like this, you discover about yourself what you did not realize! This can be amazing both for your own life, as well as connecting with others :).

Anyways, don't focus on outcomes, focus on your process. Friendmaking is an art, and what matters first is not what you make but how you make it. Because an artist skilled carries so much possibility of art within themself. Achievement is just a small snapshot of what possibility lays within a person. Outcomes are a small snapshot of process and ability. So focus more on practicing, than "succeeding". To fail and to learn well, gives you richness and power, as does succeeding without learning anything, too.

You can read all the theory you want, but no matter what, actually engaging for real is gonna be different. And it's much more fun, too.

Just keep engaging with people, all kinds, and eventually you will find the right ones, or the right ones will find you. It's easy to worry about "having" friends. But I want to tell you, forum sibling, that having conversation is such a sweet thing as well. And you are not lesser if you struggle to form bonds. And you are indeed richer for everything you are able to know and discuss and know and wonder of.

Fuel your curiosity, and enjoy your curiosity. This care and genuine interest for people is an infinite wellspring of curiosity. And explore your own interests in your own time as much as you like, as well. You never know how they may come up in conversation one day :). Know the world as much as you desire, know what you love as much as you desire, and that enriches both your life as well as your conversation.

There will be some whom you may not share much with, or some you do share much with yet struggle to have conversation with. That's okay. It's not your fault: sometimes some people are harder to relate to and converse with than others. It's very possible those people would be easier to chat up by a different person. And you, my forum sibling, have many people that you would find easier to chat up, than that person themselves. Talk with whomever you want to. Talk with whomever you want to. Ofc within reason, hahah, as you feel morally comfortable with :).

This is a great way to enrich your life and widen your perspective. A divine hobby truly. I encourage you to practice it more: It grows as it goes .

 

[idfwlnh]

It is also a fantastic conversation starter as well >:3. A way of broadcasting who you are within even speaking. Clothing is a symbol, and a way of expressing (expression is done through symbols and receptions) similar to how words are.

What is awkwardness? It's more of a behavior than some objective inherent quality. By choosing to interact with others more, even when its uncomfortable, you are exerting control over what you do. And the more you interact, the more fluent you are. Keep doing this, you are growing your social power the more you interact.

Even if you don't make "friends" per se, you are developing yourself as a person. You learn more about people. Both in general, and in specific. And not only that, but you even learn more about yourself as well. When you try to open up like this, you discover about yourself what you did not realize! This can be amazing both for your own life, as well as connecting with others :).

Anyways, don't focus on outcomes, focus on your process. Friendmaking is an art, and what matters first is not what you make but how you make it. Because an artist skilled carries so much possibility of art within themself. Achievement is just a small snapshot of what possibility lays within a person. Outcomes are a small snapshot of process and ability. So focus more on practicing, than "succeeding". To fail and to learn well, gives you richness and power, as does succeeding without learning anything, too.

You can read all the theory you want, but no matter what, actually engaging for real is gonna be different. And it's much more fun, too.

Just keep engaging with people, all kinds, and eventually you will find the right ones, or the right ones will find you. It's easy to worry about "having" friends. But I want to tell you, forum sibling, that having conversation is such a sweet thing as well. And you are not lesser if you struggle to form bonds. And you are indeed richer for everything you are able to know and discuss and know and wonder of.

Fuel your curiosity, and enjoy your curiosity. This care and genuine interest for people is an infinite wellspring of curiosity. And explore your own interests in your own time as much as you like, as well. You never know how they may come up in conversation one day :). Know the world as much as you desire, know what you love as much as you desire, and that enriches both your life as well as your conversation.

There will be some whom you may not share much with, or some you do share much with yet struggle to have conversation with. That's okay. It's not your fault: sometimes some people are harder to relate to and converse with than others. It's very possible those people would be easier to chat up by a different person. And you, my forum sibling, have many people that you would find easier to chat up, than that person themselves. Talk with whomever you want to. Talk with whomever you want to. Ofc within reason, hahah, as you feel morally comfortable with :).

This is a great way to enrich your life and widen your perspective. A divine hobby truly. I encourage you to practice it more: It grows as it goes .

Thank you for such a lovely response. Yeah, I'd say communicating is art by itself. It is hard but also the key to everything. I open up quite a lot but never did I finally made a friend or so called friends by myself. I always feel hatred from the others toward me. ,prb because of my past. And in the end, I certainly feel like ppl if talking to me like friends, always bare the same unchanging face of awkwardness with a commercial smile. It's hard to continue talking once they shows that face

 

[FoxSauce]

Ive never downloaded tik tok but Ik if i did I wont leave so I rather distance myself from it.

Plus Ive hears bad things that collests data and stuff (idk how true is this) but Id rather not.