Nobody cares

[Toxinebulaic]

You don't care. They don't care. Nobody cares.
A long time ago I thought some people cared, but when they found out they made a point of showing me that they didn't.
So now I know, and I'm very happy to know, that nobody cares.
Because when you think about it, people caring is just them hurting themselves on your behalf.
So nobody will hurt. Not at my hands. Because nobody cares.
I suppose you think I like it that way, because if I'm happy to know it I must like to know it.
But that's not true. In spite of it all, I want someone to care.
So please care.
Please take some of this pain from me.
It hurts so much.
Please care.
Please care.
Please care.

 

[Tao]

I have empathy and compassion for you. I can't feel exactly what you feel but I think I can come close to understanding your feelings reading these words. Saying "people caring is just them hurting themselves on your behalf" is an interesting thought. I do feel some emotional pain reading this and recalling my struggle with abandonment and wanting to be cared about. I hate seeing you going through something like that.
All I know is at this moment I can offer you a long-distance hug and let you know you aren't alone. I hope you can find at least one thing today that will make you smile.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sometimes I think people can only care as much as they are able to though. We all have problems in life. I suppose I see caring about others involves taking on their problems and, worrying about them on top of our own. I think, sometimes we don't have the capacity to do that. I once found that with a friend if I'm honest. That I couldn't entirely cope with their frequent venting posts on top of what I was dealing with. I wanted to be a good friend but, I was struggling.

I suppose part of the issue is how much we let stuff get to us. Sometimes, we can be practically supportive without letting the emotional side consume us. I suppose that's how nurses and those in caring professions survive.

I also think there's a dfference between not making the effort to care for someone during their life and then, grieving their death. I don't think one necessarily precludes the other. While it's hypocritical effectively, someone may well seem to care more about someone after a death, especially a suicide than before. They may experience guilt or shame that they didn't make the effort while they were alive.

I'm still sad for you that you feel that no one cares. I have a slightly different experience in that, I think pople do care on some level. It's just that, similar to me, they have too much shit going on in their own lives to cope with my shit on top.

Plus, that a lot of 'care' can't even be all that practical. Unless we are physically dependent on others, a lot of practical stuff in life, we are going to have to face alone. Plus yeah, people can't be relied upon. Especially when it hurts to find that out.

 

[KillingPain267]

 

[timechained]

Ears that hear, eyes that see,
A heart that understands.
One who sees the broken pieces,
Gently holding them in your hands.

Eyes that tear up with emotion,
Ears that hear what you can't say,
A heart that beats with feeling,
Helping pain to edge away.

Ears that hear the silent cries,
A heart that feels the breaking,
A soul who knows that kind of pain,
The anguish, depth of aching.

Ears that listen patiently,
Eyes that see through tears,
An empathetic, caring heart
That understands your fears.

Ears That Hear
GabbyMac60.
Family Friend Poems, August 14, 2016. https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/ears-that-hear