no will to live but too afraid to die.

[kittypanova]

i really just don't believe there's a bearable future for me at this moment in history. i feel strongly that ending my life is the best option, but i am so so terrified of dying. i know how i would do it, i know i could, i just can't move past being terrified. i think i need to accept that it will just take time before i'm ready to end my own life, and im willing to accept that, but what steps am i even supposed to take in that direction? how do you get ready to not be anymore? what does that process look like? it's terrifying thinking about going to sleep and just, never waking up. i know it's an irrational fear but i've no idea how to tackle it. i have to, though.

 

[melonpan]

In terms of the before process.. not too sure. But, the immediate before, people sometimes suggesting combatting SN with certain medications or alcohol.
Either way the fear of death is normal and I'd say most people on here could resonate with that. It's an end to everything, it could be painful, and it's something you have never experienced and could only experience once. It's scary. At most, maybe thinking about it more until you neutralise yourself to the thought? Even then though, I think when it comes to doing it, CTB that is, you're only naturally gonna be afraid