No way but suicide

[No One]

On my past few months after my failed attempt I went to psychiatrist and he has prescribe me some medicines and I went with them for a two months. My Schizophrenia died a little bit but I couldn't get rid of my hocd or my depression. I handled my paranoia and I decided one day those medications would leave me living my life like a robot so I get rid of them weeks ago. I had hard suicidal thoughts and panic attacks on my week but I knew that it's because of medications I couldn't sleep for more than a week two hours a day. I was mentally drained and I only get better when I come back to suicidal mentality. My family knew that I could do it and I kept saying to them that all I wish to do is to die my friend also cried when we have our last conversation which I told him about my suicidal thoughts and intuition and medications. I thought of selling a new laptop that my father has bought for me but my friend that doesn't know about my suicidal told me it's a very dirty idea and I agreed with him. Today I'm having some money to buy a alcohol and weed and I'm going to try to overdose. If I'm failed on this I'm going to get my anxiety together and try to travel to another county and sink myself on the sea. I don't know what will happen but all I know that I'll knock on my God's door for one more time
Does it matter if we have accomplished anything here on this Earth! Does it matter to keep fighting for nothing! It doesn't and it all is no sense
*sorry for my bad English

 

[dandan]

im so sorry, but you sound like a young man having issues, im sorry, yes, I remember when I was young and had issues like you...

what are you doing to overcome them?

doesn't seem you are like the suicidal type,

why would you sell your new laptop?

I'm a little shizo too.. was... im not on medication any more, nor anti'depressants... im not taking medicine , sometimes I want to die....

building my own business its my only focus strenghts that gives me will to live...

 

[No One]

No I'm suicidal since 14 after a brain accident but I was trying to fight my feelings because of my family but it won't work. I took medications and I give them up and now I'm trying to do it mentally, convince the voices on my head that I'm okay.
I want to sell my laptop to travel and kill myself there but I think only addicted do this even if they won't kill themselves,
I'm back writer by the way and had some published work but I don't see any benefit of being alive hell is here. Every single moment
* we talk before by the way

 

[GeorgeJL]

Sorry for your loss of meaning to your life. We all have to at least try to find our own meaning to live life.

BTW your not going to die from alcohol and weed. You'll just get a bad trip, and regret it.

 

[No One]

Okay then I'm enjoying my day tonight and traveling tomorrow
You can't find what is actually doesn't exist

 

[GeorgeJL]

You can't find what is actually didn't exist

??

 

[SomebodyBroken]

??

i think he mean " try to find our own meaning to live life." ;) you can not find what does not exist.

 

[GeorgeJL]

You can't find what is actually didn't exist

Have you ever thought about using psychedelics to find it?

 

[SomebodyBroken]

Your vision is blurry so you need to wear glasses to see it. You can get some glasses by using psychedelics. Have you ever thought about using psychedelics?

are you serious? you understand that pills affect the perception of the world and there will always be a feeling that "something is not as it should be". why then do you advise to search for a metaphysical idea to use it?

 

[No One]

I tried LSD once and it was awful, it makes me stuck on "free will" circle which has developed a deep depressed mindset on my mind. I started to read about our decisions and behaviors and how they are related to the subconscious mind and how the subconscious mind actually formatted and it has a very negative effect on my life and on my vision

 

[GeorgeJL]

are you serious? you understand that pills affect the perception of the world and there will always be a feeling that "something is not as it should be". why then do you advise to search for a metaphysical idea to use it?

It could be just a micro-dose. There have been many suicidal people that have found meaning to live with psychedelics.

 

[No One]

are you serious? you understand that pills affect the perception of the world and there will always be a feeling that "something is not as it should be". why then do you advise to search for a metaphysical idea to use it?

Easy brother. I did it before and I wrote that I'm going to smoke tonight , maybe he realized that I'm open to drugs

 

[GeorgeJL]

I tried LSD once and it was awful, it makes me stuck on "free will" circle which has developed a deep depressed mindset on my mind. I started to read about our decisions and behaviors and how they are related to the subconscious mind and how the subconscious mind actually formatted and it has a very negative effect on my life and on my vision

Yeah LSD isn't the best psychedelic to use for those that are suicidal. MDMA is actually pretty good as it helps you feel love once again. I've personally had great experiences mixing 2c-b and 4-aco-dmt in moderate doses.

 

[Soul]

Okay then I'm enjoying my day tonight and traveling tomorrow
You can't find what is actually doesn't exist

What country are you in, No One? And where are you thinking of going? I'm sorry to read of your very dark despair, but your writing is very expressive. I know the medications for schizophrenia are generally awful, but is there anything you can get that will help you get some rest? I don't want you to do anything that will make your situation worse, and getting some good sleep can help us make good choices.

 

[No One]

Drugs are illegal on my country it's so hard or impossible to find DMT here

 

[SomebodyBroken]

Easy brother. I did it before and I wrote that I'm going to smoke tonight , maybe he realized that I'm open to drugs

Well, drugs or alcohol, can help find the "meaning of life." but this is temporary, when the consciousness is unclouded - we see all this nonsense around and want to do ctb.

 

[GeorgeJL]

Drugs are illegal on my country it's so hard or impossible to find DMT here

People get their psychedelics on the darknet or deepweb marketplaces. You can get almost any psychedelic you can think of from there underground marketplaces, it's delivered to your house by mail. Right now the main one is Empire Marketplace. You have to use bitcoins to buy, but it's worth it. Law enforcement keeps playing wacka mole with these underground marketplaces. For every one that they shut down, a new one pops up with with most of the same vendors/sellers from the last.

 

[No One]

I'm from Egypt. Traveling inside my country and swim into the sea until I lose my power , I tried to hang and I failed I tried to take pills and I filed and it was harmful so sea is my new valid option. I took night calm which supposed to help you sleep but all it has to do with me is to make me more awake! Yesterday I could sleep after I decide to do one more attempt again.

People get their psychedelics on the darknet or deepweb marketplaces. You can get almost any psychedelic you can think of from there underground marketplaces, it's delivered to your house by mail. Right now the main one is Empire Marketplace. You have to use bitcoins to buy, but it's worth it. Law enforcement keeps playing wacka mole with these underground marketplaces. For every one that they shut down, a new one pops up with with most of the same vendors/sellers from the last.

You know anyone I can trust?

Well, drugs or alcohol, can help find the "meaning of life." but this is temporary, when the consciousness is unclouded - we see all this nonsense around and want to do ctb.

I tottaly agree with you

 

[Ashpac]

It could be just a micro-dose. There have been many suicidal people that have found meaning to live with psychedelics.

Thats why i would love to go to a certain clinic in north america who give you Ayahuasca while you stay at the lovely place. Its quite expensive and you do meditation and other stuff. Sounds really fun and looks awesome on the youtube videos ive seen.
Even some celebrities have went there and reported that its changed their life for the better.
Obviously it wont have a positive affect on everyone, but for me, id love to cross it off my bucketlist before I go.

 

[GeorgeJL]

Well, drugs or alcohol, can help find the "meaning of life." but this is temporary, when the consciousness is unclouded - we see all this nonsense around and want to do ctb.

Here is the thing, there is an infinite amount of evil and suffering to focus on and an infinite amount of good and peace to focus on. The choice is yours, you can either focus on the infinite evil and lay down and die or you can focus on the infinite good and peace in the world and help others. Given that I do understand that because of some peoples genetics they can't focus on the good and peace in the world. But many of us can. And psychedelics help us see the love and peace inside of us.

Thats why i would love to go to a certain clinic in north america who give you Ayahuasca while you stay at the lovely place. Its quite expensive and you do meditation and other stuff. Sounds really fun and looks awesome on the youtube videos ive seen.
Even some celebrities have went there and reported that its changed their life for the better.
Obviously it wont have a positive affect on everyone, but for me, id love to cross it off my bucketlist before I go.

Even I would be exteremely careful with ayahuasca, as it can be very unforgiving. I would recommend peyote, san pedro, to suicidal people as these cacti are more forgiving and can really bring out peace and love even more so than ayahuasca.

 

[Soul]

I hope you make the best possible choices for yourself, @No One - I don't want you to make your situation worse. Journey well x

 

[Ashpac]

Even I would be exteremely careful with ayahuasca, as it can be very unforgiving. I would recommend peyote, san pedro, to suicidal people as these cacti are more forgiving and can really bring out peace and love even more so than ayahuasca.

Its in a controlled environment.
The only real worry is what is inside your head before you take it.
How badly have you surpressed your emotions in for all these years?
Id probably cry on my trip because ive held so much shit in over the years.
I do believe it would heal me though.
One youtuber described it as ''Imagine a hurricane coming and it messes your apartment up and makes everything turn upside down, thats what ayahuasca is like, meaning you have to pick up the pieces again'' Sounds scary and exciting at the same time.

If I did go, i would deffo record my experience and put it on youtube LOL just to help other people out and see if they might benefit from it.

 

[GeorgeJL]

Its in a controlled environment.
The only real worry is what is inside your head before you take it.
How badly have you surpressed your emotions in for all these years?
Id probably cry on my trip because ive held so much shit in over the years.
I do believe it would heal me though.
One youtuber described it as ''Imagine a hurricane coming and it messes your apartment up and makes everything turn upside down, thats what ayahuasca is like, meaning you have to pick up the pieces again'' Sounds scary and exciting at the same time.

If I did go, i would deffo record my experience and put it on youtube LOL just to help other people out and see if they might benefit from it.

Yeah when I took 2c-b and 4-aco-dmt I was rolling in magical and mystical sublime extascy and bliss for hours as the universe was flowing through me. It was unbelievable. And it's not addictive either. Me and my friend used these psychedelics for a while then just stopped. The only reason I don't use them anymore is because it worsens my tinnitus.

 

[Ashpac]

Yeah when I took 2c-b and 4-aco-dmt I was rolling in magical and mystical sublime extascy and bliss for hours as the universe was flowing through me. It was unbelievable. And it's not addictive either. Me and my friend used these psychedelics for a while then just stopped. The only reason I don't use them anymore is because it worsens my tinnitus.

I envy you had access to these chemicals.
Back in my drug days i wanted to try all the research chemicals.
Sorry about your tinnitus though. That sucks.
Ive only tried salvia, which was fucking strong to say the least, i shit myself on it when i saw blue smirf showing my name in tiles, very confusing LOL.
Then i seen red and blue smirfs when i took magic mushrooms back in 2004 on a 6th form trip, not sure why these little shits keep appearing to me under the influence.

 

[GeorgeJL]

I envy you had access to these chemicals.
Back in my drug days i wanted to try all the research chemicals.
Sorry about your tinnitus though. That sucks.
Ive only tried salvia, which was fucking strong to say the least, i shit myself on it when i saw blue smirf showing my name in tiles, very confusing LOL.
Then i seen red and blue smirfs when i took magic mushrooms back in 2004 on a 6th form trip, not sure why these little shits keep appearing to me under the influence.

Anyone with a little computer smarts can buy these. We got them off the underground darknet marketplaces like silkraod, dream marketplace, and alphabay through the mail. Even though those are shut down right now, you can still buy psychedelics from Empire marketplace, as they are the top dog right now from what I've read. So 2c-b and 4-aco-dmt should be pretty easy to get from there. If you like I can check what they got.

 

[Ashpac]

Anyone with a little computer smarts can buy these. We got them off the underground darknet marketplaces like silkraod, dream marketplace, and alphabay through the mail. Even though those are shut down right now, you can still buy psychedelics from Empire marketplace, as they are the top dog right now from what I've read. So 2c-b and 4-aco-dmt should be pretty easy to get from there. If you like I can check what they got.

Ive never looked into stuff like that, heard too many bad stories hence why i wouldnt know about them being available online and if they were i always thought they would not be legit.
Rather just save my money and not get robbed.
You can tell me what they do have, i dont think thats breaking the rules.

 

[SomebodyBroken]

Ohhh @SomebodyBroken - I've been on the brink all day, and your post has pushed me over: I see the baby tree across the street that I feared was dead has finally put forth some leaves. Walter White threw a pizza and it landed on the roof - remember that?? My nearly feral cat has learned that being stroked is pleasant and even comes to ask for it sometimes. Idris Elba. Nina Simone. You know how I feel.

I'm easy - but all that is real too. So shoot me

would love to help you, but we are too far =)

Here is the thing, there is an infinite amount of evil and suffering to focus on and an infinite amount of good and peace to focus on. The choice is yours, you can either focus on the infinite evil and lay down and die or you can focus on the infinite good and peace in the world and help others. Given that I do understand that because of some peoples genetics they can't focus on the good and peace in the world. But many of us can. And psychedelics help us see the love and peace inside of us.

yep. Genetics affects the perception of the world from my point of view, so I agree. you can focus on the good, but when there are no problems with the physical body. although some mental disorders are many times worse than physical illness. but this is my opinion, if drugs help you to see everything in a good mood - this is very good. but do not forget that we are not too fond of this forum when they say "everything is fine, life is beautiful." if it were true - we would not be here.

 

[Allpainnogain]

Yeah LSD isn't the best psychedelic to use for those that are suicidal. MDMA is actually pretty good as it helps you feel love once again. I've personally had great experiences mixing 2c-b and 4-aco-dmt in moderate doses.

Where can you get it? I've become an emotionalless void

 

[GeorgeJL]

Ive never looked into stuff like that, heard too many bad stories hence why i wouldnt know about them being available online and if they were i always thought they would not be legit.
Rather just save my money and not get robbed.
You can tell me what they do have, i dont think thats breaking the rules.

LOL robbed. OK yeah there was a few times I didn't get my package but for the most part I got my stuff. So you have to risk loosing a little money for an illegal drug that might cure you, I think it's worth it. OK let's give a worse case senerio, you buy 2c-b, it doesn't come in the mail. All you do is order again from another vendor until you get it. Besides if you don't get your stuff then you can to write a review that others can see about them. This helps keep the vendors from ripping off people, or ripping off too many people.

And OP if you want us to take this conversation to PM just let us know.

Where can you get it? I've become an emotionalless void

Read my posts in this thread I've talked about that two times already in this thread. In a nutshell Empire marketplace. But read more to get the details.

 

[SomebodyBroken]

LOL robbed. OK yeah there was a few times I didn't get my package but for the most part I got my stuff. So you have to risk loosing a little money for an illegal drug that might cure you, I think it's worth it. OK let's give a worse case senerio, you buy 2c-b, it doesn't come in the mail. All you do is order again from another vendor until you get it. Besides if you don't get your stuff then you can to write a review that others can see about them. This helps keep the vendors from ripping off people, or ripping off too many people.

And OP if you want us to take this conversation to PM just let us know.

Read my posts in this thread I've talked about that two times already in this thread. In a nutshell Empire marketplace. But read more to get the details.

a little weird that you advertise drugs. on this forum .. where people are in their own life situation. it's cruel.