No saving grace

[terra.nuvo]

I keep praying for some kind of saving grace to come into my life that will make me no longer want to CTB but it never comes. I've been trying to wrap my head around how this world wasn't made for me to live in it. I'm useless with no hope for recovery. I've been to therapists, taken the medicine, done everything I was "supposed" to do. But there is no hope. There is no saving grace. And it eats me up inside.