Venting no I don't want to be "strong"

[FutureHanger]

For the past couple days my family's been telling me they love me, it's not my fault etc. because of my failed attempt but what's annoying is they also tell me to be strong, they dont call me weak as they know that's wrong but it's still frustrating how they tell me to carry on and be strong, like why? What exactly should I bother being strong for when in the past I've tried so hard and still haven't gotten happier? Why when my anhedonia is so strong I don't have the energy to help anyone? Why should I live for practically nothing? It's so bullshit and it's ironic too, if life is hard and you have to be strong then why can't you accept the hardship of losing me and be strong enough to accept that?

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd be so frustrated by that, to me it's cruel how people believe that others must continue to suffer no matter what and refuse to accept suicide as a valid option even know none of us are obligated to continue existing anyway.

 

[dinosavr]

Oh God it's brilliant. Let's just give uno reverse card to all those who think that just staying strong is easy. Let them show us how it's done. Good luck with that

 

[kotonearisato]

I absolutely understand your feelings here. Nobody should have to be "strong" for this long. It's exhausting having to be "strong" just to appease other people. Why do we have to put in the work? I'm really sorry you're going through that.

 

[ctbcat]

right? what's the point... i've coasted on 'being strong' - trying to at least do whats the bare minimum in other's eyes to... i don't know, try prevent suffering or something. it doesn't fucking work... and now i'm back, and i still want to die, and none of it fucking matters... i'm obviously not gonna claim this is the same for everyone but it's how it turned out for me. where's the hope in just trying to strongman your way out of it? where's the point? oh, do i get some sort of medal, some sort of purpose, some sort of promised good for being 'strong'? no, it still gets spit in your face...

 

[Doemu]

Being strong, had even been my curse. I perfectly understand you don't want to be that. My best wishes to you.

 

[divinemistress87]

There's been no reward to being strong