Story NO HOME - NO ONE

[Unattainable666]

I've lived 62 years (almost 63). I have no home to call my own, I have no one to call my own. If I had known this is what my life was to be I would have ctb long ago. I thought by moving I would have a chance for a new start, but I was wrong. Instead I now have to deal with a job I hate, an apartment with management that discriminates against people with disabilities and broke as shit. Yeah, great life. I've been on the precipice of ctb for a very long time (since a teenager). After Chris left it became my mantra "I want to die." Now I'm alone. I will not find that "special someone" to live my life with - I'm too old. I have a sure fire way to ctb. It's on my mind all the time - constantly. The relief of not worrying about money, loneliness, work, just living to be taken away and never to have to worry about again is so enticing. My Dad used to tell me "shit or get off the pot" when it came to decision making. I can hear his voice now. Is there an afterlife? Will I see Chris and my Dad again? I don't know. All I know is that the pain I'm has to stop

 

[trashhologram]

I relate to your post a lot. I'm much younger than you, in my late 20's, but I'm homeless again. It's my 3rd time being homeless. I stay with my girlfriend so I do have a roof over my head but technically I'm homeless. I'm finally calling it home and little by little it has started to feel like a home.

Personally I don't believe in afterlife but I also can't disprove it. If it exists I hope you will be reunited with Chris and your dad. I wish you can find a way to not be in constant pain, suicide or some other way, whichever feels the most comfortable to you and works the best for you. I don't know you but I wish you well, dear stranger ❤

 

[mortuarymary]

I want to believe there is an afterlife. If that gives you comfort then believe it.

 

[Unattainable666]

I relate to your post a lot. I'm much younger than you, in my late 20's, but I'm homeless again. It's my 3rd time being homeless. I stay with my girlfriend so I do have a roof over my head but technically I'm homeless. I'm finally calling it home and little by little it has started to feel like a home.

Personally I don't believe in afterlife but I also can't disprove it. If it exists I hope you will be reunited with Chris and your dad. I wish you can find a way to not be in constant pain, suicide or some other way, whichever feels the most comfortable to you and works the best for you. I don't know you but I wish you well, dear stranger ❤

Thank you so much for your kind words, they mean a lot

I want to believe there is an afterlife. If that gives you comfort then believe it.

With my child being gone I have to believe in the afterlife. If I didn't believe that I think I would literally lose my mind

 

[mortuarymary]

Thank you so much for your kind words, they mean a lot

With my child being gone I have to believe in the afterlife. If I didn't believe that I think I would literally lose my mind

I hope so, need to see my mom and brother. Though I think I'll get a bollocking off them for doing this. Especially off my mom.

 

[Sid19]

I relate to your post a lot. I'm much younger than you, in my late 20's, but I'm homeless again. It's my 3rd time being homeless. I stay with my girlfriend so I do have a roof over my head but technically I'm homeless. I'm finally calling it home and little by little it has started to feel like a home.

Personally I don't believe in afterlife but I also can't disprove it. If it exists I hope you will be reunited with Chris and your dad. I wish you can find a way to not be in constant pain, suicide or some other way, whichever feels the most comfortable to you and works the best for you. I don't know you but I wish you well, dear stranger ❤

I hope you get better in the near future. There are so many of us, who are hopeless and are on a brink of climbing to the other side. Seeing this kind of messages really makes me happy these days. I have seen people feeling miserable watching other people be happy. I am kinda opposite. Relationships are fragile as shit though. Make sure you are taking other measures to get yourself some sort of job and then find a job/hobby which you like. That's the most important thing.

I've lived 62 years (almost 63). I have no home to call my own, I have no one to call my own. If I had known this is what my life was to be I would have ctb long ago. I thought by moving I would have a chance for a new start, but I was wrong. Instead I now have to deal with a job I hate, an apartment with management that discriminates against people with disabilities and broke as shit. Yeah, great life. I've been on the precipice of ctb for a very long time (since a teenager). After Chris left it became my mantra "I want to die." Now I'm alone. I will not find that "special someone" to live my life with - I'm too old. I have a sure fire way to ctb. It's on my mind all the time - constantly. The relief of not worrying about money, loneliness, work, just living to be taken away and never to have to worry about again is so enticing. My Dad used to tell me "shit or get off the pot" when it came to decision making. I can hear his voice now. Is there an afterlife? Will I see Chris and my Dad again? I don't know. All I know is that the pain I'm has to stop

You should do whatever makes you feel peaceful. Whether it's ctb of your own way or living. You are strong, much stronger than many. Hell I didn't even cross 30, and yet I'm here going off.

 

[TimetoGo!]

I've lived 62 years (almost 63). I have no home to call my own, I have no one to call my own. If I had known this is what my life was to be I would have ctb long ago. I thought by moving I would have a chance for a new start, but I was wrong. Instead I now have to deal with a job I hate, an apartment with management that discriminates against people with disabilities and broke as shit. Yeah, great life. I've been on the precipice of ctb for a very long time (since a teenager). After Chris left it became my mantra "I want to die." Now I'm alone. I will not find that "special someone" to live my life with - I'm too old. I have a sure fire way to ctb. It's on my mind all the time - constantly. The relief of not worrying about money, loneliness, work, just living to be taken away and never to have to worry about again is so enticing. My Dad used to tell me "shit or get off the pot" when it came to decision making. I can hear his voice now. Is there an afterlife? Will I see Chris and my Dad again? I don't know. All I know is that the pain I'm has to stop

what method will you use? So sorry to read it, you should certainly be enjoying life in your 60's…..this world is torture

 

[Unattainable666]

what method will you use? So sorry to read it, you should certainly be enjoying life in your 60's…..this world is torture

Pm me I'd prefer to not be onsite

 

[silent.desperation]

Always thinking of you. Wish you nothing but peace x

 

[Unattainable666]

Always thinking of you. Wish you nothing but peace x

Thank you!

 

[mortuarymary]

what method will you use? So sorry to read it, you should certainly be enjoying life in your 60's…..this world is torture

I'm in my 50s
Cant believe I've made it this far.

 

[Unattainable666]

I'm in my 50s
Cant believe I've made it this far.

I understand that

 

[Crinia99]

I get it, im 55 and in a similar position to yourself. Too alone, too old and too poor. No one, no place and no family I can call my own. Its a meaningless existing, just working to pay bills and to make ends meet, only old age ahead and nothing but loneliness, heartache and stress on the way there. That's why I'm here too.

 

[rotciv]

Life can be harder for some people, I never thought about giving up, until I realized that my pain was going to be chronic, taking opioids and painkillers for the rest of my life is not for me, I'm leaving this If I can't get well regardless of age!

 

[Unattainable666]

Life can be harder for some people, I never thought about giving up, until I realized that my pain was going to be chronic, taking opioids and painkillers for the rest of my life is not for me, I'm leaving this If I can't get well regardless of age!

Totally understandable

 

[trashhologram]

I hope you get better in the near future. There are so many of us, who are hopeless and are on a brink of climbing to the other side. Seeing this kind of messages really makes me happy these days. I have seen people feeling miserable watching other people be happy. I am kinda opposite. Relationships are fragile as shit though. Make sure you are taking other measures to get yourself some sort of job and then find a job/hobby which you like. That's the most important thing.

I do have a job and I social security money from the government. I also have hobbies I enjoy.

 

[Sid19]

I do have a job and I social security money from the government. I also have hobbies I enjoy.

Hope all will go well for you bud!

 

[trashhologram]

Hope all will go well for you bud!

Thank you! ❤ Things are going in the right direction right now at least. I have support and work will pick up in a month or two (in my field it's always pretty slow during the winter).

 

[hopeless08]

I've lived 62 years (almost 63). I have no home to call my own, I have no one to call my own. If I had known this is what my life was to be I would have ctb long ago. I thought by moving I would have a chance for a new start, but I was wrong. Instead I now have to deal with a job I hate, an apartment with management that discriminates against people with disabilities and broke as shit. Yeah, great life. I've been on the precipice of ctb for a very long time (since a teenager). After Chris left it became my mantra "I want to die." Now I'm alone. I will not find that "special someone" to live my life with - I'm too old. I have a sure fire way to ctb. It's on my mind all the time - constantly. The relief of not worrying about money, loneliness, work, just living to be taken away and never to have to worry about again is so enticing. My Dad used to tell me "shit or get off the pot" when it came to decision making. I can hear his voice now. Is there an afterlife? Will I see Chris and my Dad again? I don't know. All I know is that the pain I'm has to stop

It's very remarkable and brave of you that despite your pain you are able to get up and go to work and function.. I admire that, in my case I can barely move, I can't do anything… wish you the best

 

[Unattainable666]

It's very remarkable and brave of you that despite your pain you are able to get up and go to work and function.. I admire that, in my case I can barely move, I can't do anything… wish you the best

I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. I understand. Life is not fair. To me it seems that good people suffer the most. Please take care of yourself and be kind to you.