Venting No hobbies and no hope

[MuttonChops]

Next year I'm writing the most important exam of my life, the one that will determine which college I get into.
I don't know ANYTHING for it, all of the subjects I have to pass I genuinely suck at.

I used to be good at maths, like really good. Now I can't even solve the easiest questions. When I try to study I don't understand anything. I have no hopes of even getting into any decent college as I'm aware I suck at everything.

Maybe sucking at everything wouldn't be so bad if I had any hobbies I'd like to pursue, but I don't even have that. I don't like going out, playing games, watching anything, doing any sports, instruments, Genuienly nothing. As a person I don't have anything, I'm just an empty shell of a person I used to be, and I can't stand it I'm so tired of living like that.

Just did bad this study year and my parents cut me off(I'm 19 btw) from the only friend that helped me to stay alive as I'd feel guilty leaving them, but now I don't even have that left.

I really didn't want to CTB but I'm slowly realizing there's no way out of this shithole, life sucks, people suck and the future also sucks, all I have left is hope that death sucks atleast a little less than this.

 

[solveetcoagula]

i think I'd wait for the test results. I'm in almost the same situation as you, but in my case it's a job application process, not a test. I told myself that before thinking about anything, i should at least wait for the results.

imagine: if you pass something you like or are happy with the result, even if it's not that great? i'm just saying this so you can evaluate your options, realize that your future can be "bright", and understand that if you try something before knowing your test results, you might not even imagine how amazing it could be.​

 

[MuttonChops]

i think I'd wait for the test results. I'm in almost the same situation as you, but in my case it's a job application process, not a test. I told myself that before thinking about anything, i should at least wait for the results.

imagine: if you pass something you like or are happy with the result, even if it's not that great? i'm just saying this so you can evaluate your options, realize that your future can be "bright", and understand that if you try something before knowing your test results, you might not even imagine how amazing it could be.​

Yeah it does seem like the smart thing to do but still I know I don't have the ability to learn all of that to pass those, but thanks, maybe waiting isn't that bad of an idea