No future

[okkkk]

Posting here is admitting defeat for me. I am so afraid that nothing will ever change for me. Im becoming hysterically sad and my behavior and thought has become disturbing. I am done with feeling sorry for myself but I am so horrified that Im going to remain isolated and miserable for the remainder of my youth and that fills me with so much sadness and rage. It feels so unfair. And I do not under any circumstances want to experience that. Even in my current state I find myself aching and writhing in all these horrible memories and bad choices. Theres nothing that I enjoy. I live for nothing. I am so lost. Theres nothing I can say anymore. Theres no combination of words. Its so useless. And being alone on top of all that. I cant take it. Its torture and complaining about it does nothing. I really want to go away. Abandoning all of this seems so blissful.

 

[Life+me=error]

I am so horrified that Im going to remain isolated and miserable for the remainder of my youth

Why are you isolated and why do you think it's gonna stay that way? I am sorry you feel the way you feel.

 

[Mr2005]

You still have your youth? It could be worse. The power is in your hands. Once it's gone it's gone

 

[okkkk]

Why are you isolated and why do you think it's gonna stay that way? I am sorry you feel the way you feel.

I think my current life situation freaks me out a little bit and I find it really hard to relax and pretend everything is fine when hanging out with people. So a lot of the time I find it hard to find the will to engage and be outgoing and stuff like that. tl;dr I cant get out of my mind. and I cant relax. Even though its the only thing I desire. its hell. I need to be medicated

You still have your youth? It could be worse. The power is in your hands. Once it's gone it's gone

the point is im wasting it being miserable. Id rather overdose on fentanyl while doing xanax and have a chance at happiness than be alone and afriad and miserable. Right now im stagnant and all my hope is draining and I just have to watch it.