No friends

[Hikikomori1]

How do you guys cope with having no friends?

I have been mostly stuck at home for 7 years and haven't hung out with any IRL friends in 6 years.

There are people i talk to regularly online but i wouldn't consider them my true friends.

Plus i feel it is a lot more difficult now to make a meaningful online connection with someone than it was 16 years old in the old internet days because the modern internet culture is so toxic and everyone is an asshole for no reason.

 

[Rocinante]

How do you guys cope with having no friends?

I just do my own thing, I don't really care to go out of my way to interact with people irl.

I have been mostly stuck at home for 7 years and haven't hung out with any IRL friends in 6 years.

Same and same. Are there any clubs or anything of the sort nearby that you could attend? If you have a popular hobby it helps. I've been considering looking for music group/ bands to join

There are people i talk to regularly online but i wouldn't consider them my true friends.

Plus i feel it is a lot more difficult now to make a meaningful online connection with someone than it was 16 years old in the old internet days because the modern internet culture is so toxic and everyone is an asshole for no reason.

Best connections I made were online with people that had similar interests, hobbies, and life circumstances. I find it easier to communicate online.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've also lost most of my friends. I haven't seen them in years. One keeps in touch via text- but, that's mainly to rant. Shouldn't complain though- because I do the same.

I don't really trust friendship anymore to be honest. People have their own lives, so, it feels unwise to really trust or rely on anyone.

All I would say is- friendship takes a lot of effort and it may end up being all one sided. I suppose I've also come to the conclusion that most friendships are fair weather relationships- so, it's kind of unwise to expect more. Just depends on whether that feels worth it I suppose.

 

[FuneralCry]

I've always preferred to be alone and avoid other people, I've always never had any interest in spending time with other people, found being around them to be tiring and been unable to relate to them. But the fact is that in this world you cannot trust and rely on other people, humans very often just create more suffering and problems so it's better to just avoid other people anyway.

 

[iwanttobedead]

the last time i had a social circle was as a 16 year old. everyone either betrays or abandons me in the end. i tell myself i'm only lonely for self defense, even though i know i would have a rough time getting along with anyone anyways, now that so much has changed..

 

[Applenova204]

I find comfort in using the Internet. Just reading, watching TV and sometimes listening to the radio. I'll message a person or two in my contacts but that is rare and often forced conversations. I can't understand how people make good friends over time. I am alone because of not meeting the right people perhaps. But then people can be not nice sometimes so maybe it is good to be alone.

 

[catowice]

I'm struggling with that as well x(

I'm not good at making myself social circles. It really bites back when you want to get help but you don't know anyone to.

 

[Float On Okay]

I haven't had many if any, genuine friends in my life. I had some decent bonds with people in elementary and middle school, but I don't know if I would consider them friends. I certainly had no friends in high school or college. I would say my severe social anxiety problem is the culprit, precisely my inability to open up and be vulnerable, but it's probably a multitude of things. I always think about my loneliness, making me feel as if I'm barely human, or at best, a worthless one. So the way I cope? Self-loathing.

 

[Zegers]

It's hard not having people to hang out with and feeling so... unimportant let's say, everything i tried to meet new people was in vain so just try to cope it.

 

[rushia]

I'm going to find out soon. Because honestly I hate the idea of friends, even online friends give me nausea and chest pain. I don't want to be personal with anyone ever again.

 

[Heavenbound]

How do you guys cope with having no friends?

I have been mostly stuck at home for 7 years and haven't hung out with any IRL friends in 6 years.

There are people i talk to regularly online but i wouldn't consider them my true friends.

Plus i feel it is a lot more difficult now to make a meaningful online connection with someone than it was 16 years old in the old internet days because the modern internet culture is so toxic and everyone is an asshole for no reason.

I only have a few friends, but they live far away. We can only talk on the telephone and email each other, and everyone is so busy these days. I've been in a situation where I've been stuck at home for about the past 3 years and haven't been able to go and do anything. I'm now free to go and do things, although it came with great loss and grief. I have joined several Meetup groups in the hopes of trying to meet new people and maybe even make friends. So far, they haven't been very active, but I'm trying. I'm also considering going to a couple of bars I used to frequent back in the day, even though I don't drink now… I'm kind of desperate.

I agree with you wholeheartedly. The internet culture is toxic. I guess we have to try to be the change we want to see in the world…

I hope maybe you'll consider signing up for Meetup, and find some groups that interest you. I wish you luck!

 

[Mirrory Me]

Being with others has been so drainin in the past that I once thought it would be better if I cut these people out of my life. However, the reason for my suffering was not in these people, but in something else...

I have been alone for several years- they did a lot of damage, which I later tried to repair by connecting back and practicing on trusting others and myself. It's been much easier since then.

 

[Hikikomori1]

Being with others has been so drainin in the past that I once thought it would be better if I cut these people out of my life. However, the reason for my suffering was not in these people, but in something else...

I have been alone for several years- they did a lot of damage, which I later tried to repair by connecting back and practicing on trusting others and myself. It's been much easier since then.

I feel you i have been through a similar situation.

the last time i had a social circle was as a 16 year old. everyone either betrays or abandons me in the end. i tell myself i'm only lonely for self defense, even though i know i would have a rough time getting along with anyone anyways, now that so much has changed..

The last time i had any IRL friends was in 2017.

 

[MentalStefan]

I can't cope with this as well... I have online friends which I talk to regularly but I also wouldn't consider them my true friends... (but one honestly... One person has been nice, kind and willing to talk to me for one year and I think I can trust them. They said they had a crush on me (what the hell? Somebody has a crush on me? Seriously? Something's odd for sure...) so maybe it is why).

 

[Chemical Animal]

I just do my own thing, I don't really care to go out of my way to interact with people irl.

Same here. I just watch stuff, play random videogames, listen to niche music and work/study.

I have lost contact with all social circles I had in school days, technical courses and former college. And when the pandemic came out, I couldn't hang out with the few friends I made on Facebook groups back in 2014/2015, was too afraid of keeping in touch and eventually lost contact with them too.

I have given up on making friends or maintaining "friendships" because looking back on all the relationships I had through my life:

• I always felt left out (forcing myself to do things I don't want to or to be into things that I don't like to feel included);
• some of them were toxic (I had to submit myself to humiliation, and endure verbal and sometimes physical abuse to keep up with the group)
• there were situations when I'm with a "friend" and we're talking alone, a third person comes and greet us, and my "friend" directs all his attention to this third person and ignores me completely, giving me the impression that I'm boring and unimportant;
• always felt that some people only go out of their way to talk to me when they want to get something out of me that benefits them;
• not to mention extreme social anxiety, sensory/emotional overload etc

If making friends almost always end up being disadvantageous and exhausting, why bother?

 

[mutebaker]

cant cope and just end up wasting time scrolling and watching youtube or something

 

[Disappointered]

I have given up on making friends or maintaining "friendships" because looking back on all the relationships I had through my life:

• I always felt left out (forcing myself to do things I don't want to or to be into things that I don't like to feel included);
• some of them were toxic (I had to submit myself to humiliation, and endure verbal and sometimes physical abuse to keep up with the group)
• there were situations when I'm with a "friend" and we're talking alone, a third person comes and greet us, and my "friend" directs all his attention to this third person and ignores me completely, giving me the impression that I'm boring and unimportant;
• always felt that some people only go out of their way to talk to me when they want to get something out of me that benefits them;
• not to mention extreme social anxiety, sensory/emotional overload etc

This was more or less my experience as well. People used me for their hidden tribal agendas and/or just as a substitute subfriend who never had the importance of their real friends. They always had good relations with their immediate family as well as an extended family and ethnic community, not to mention other friends as a result of that, to fall back on. Eventually the asymmetrical power dynamic became obvious and the abusive price for their "friendship" too much to bear. Now that I'm getting older and older finding friends is getting harder and harder but that's not the main reason I am friendless. The main reason is that I am a strange hybrid experiment that went wrong and has been used and abused by certain people around me (same with my sibling). I am not even "marginal" the way other marginal people are who find each other. So I've just been losing. I've been the loser again and again and again. Less social capital to start out with, less social capital to leave with.Much as I believe being friendless is a massive deficiency in quality of life that can easily be a reason in itself to ctb, I have no choice but to abandon this pursuit altogether.

 

[Someonewhotypes]

no real life friends since middle school. I cope by imagining going out and trying to make friends and how inconvenient and draining and time wasting that'd be. The endless empty talk of the normies, the fake smiles...the effort I'd have to put in that. Then I remember I'm lazy and actually more comfortable being alone and they're better off without someone with negative world views so I stop craving social connection n that's my cope.

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

I definitely have a charisma level of 0

I've had more followers than friends, people who listened to my words and ideas instead of hanging out for a beer, i can't communicate on that level and i know it.

I don't feel lonely but i can't give much advice if you do, busy work perhaps?

 

[Zegers]

I was in a bar last week and you just see how irrelevant you are in social settings, people showing each other pictures of what they did, dancing, asking for instagram and you just sit there because you have nothing to say.

 

[leloyon]

How do you guys cope with having no friends?

 

[theslasher]

no real life friends since middle school. I cope by imagining going out and trying to make friends and how inconvenient and draining and time wasting that'd be. The endless empty talk of the normies, the fake smiles...the effort I'd have to put in that. Then I remember I'm lazy and actually more comfortable being alone and they're better off without someone with negative world views so I stop craving social connection n that's my cope.

jeeze, I can't imagine you sticking around much longer with that mindset. If I were you I'd dive deep into what it is you love most (but not unhealthy habits) hobbies that are beneficial for you but you also truly enjoy. Maybe like taking a day trip to hike a mountain or exploring an abandoned building, that's just what I personally think is fun lol. Also recently I started learning how to use a bo staff and nunchaku. I really get into to flow state. Overtime, when you do things you truly enjoy, you become more interested in life, and others naturally become interested in you. And socializing isn't even something you have to think about, especially for those people with similar interests. If you haven't found any interests or hobbies I recommend to try them all before you even think about CTB.

I was in a bar last week and you just see how irrelevant you are in social settings, people showing each other pictures of what they did, dancing, asking for instagram and you just sit there because you have nothing to say.

Yeah our world is fake, nobody even listens to each other or asks interesting questions. They all just talk about themselves.

I'm going to find out soon. Because honestly I hate the idea of friends, even online friends give me nausea and chest pain. I don't want to be personal with anyone ever again.

What made you get to that point?

 

[winamp]

I surf the internet, collect as much information as I can about things so then if I have the chance I can exchange information with others because I show interest in people by sharing information, listen to music, and cry every once in a while

 

[theslasher]

I haven't had many if any, genuine friends in my life. I had some decent bonds with people in elementary and middle school, but I don't know if I would consider them friends. I certainly had no friends in high school or college. I would say my severe social anxiety problem is the culprit, precisely my inability to open up and be vulnerable, but it's probably a multitude of things. I always think about my loneliness, making me feel as if I'm barely human, or at best, a worthless one. So the way I cope? Self-loathing.

hey man don't be afraid to be vulnerable. I recently reconnected with a friend from mine in middle school and listened to him vent about many things such as his social life, not having many friends, struggles finding a girl whose not a 304, money, etc... It was honestly so refreshing hearing someone I knew in real life talk about their lives as if they didn't have to impress anyone. When we're able to open up in that way it makes you way more relatable as opposed to everyone else trying to be fake and act like everything is amazing. Of course you can't always be a downer 100% of the time so after that we went to Planet Fitness a couple times to get some gains. Until I realized I hated Planet Fitness bc doing deadlifts on smith machines sucks lmaoo.

Anyways, I'm similar to you in the sense that there's many people in my life that have shown disdain for me, even my own family. No matter whether I'm nice or mean to them they'd treat me like absolute crap. Which is one cause for my social anxiety even to this day. I was dangerously close to ending it many times. Somehow my relationship with my family is slightly better these days after putting some space in between them, but not to the point that I'd give af about going to their wedding and even going out to dinner with them would be a fucking drag. Bc it's always a competition to see who could emotionally damage each other the most so I'll probably move to another country whenever I get the chance and just live in peace haha.

Anyways sorry to rant, but I eventually realized that my worth as a human being isn't measure by the opinions of others. Because when other people are hurting and they don't know how to express it in a healthy way they take it out on other people who did nothing wrong. So my one piece of advice to you is to live a life of authenticity and stop valuing others opinions over your own.

 

[magician99]

How do you guys cope with having no friends?

/s

Idk, I kinda just do...? I mean, I had a large circle of friends as a little kid, and I was also in a football club, but once my middle and high school days started, I was more concerned with, you know, the abuse at home, the bullying at school, the lack of sleep, the school tests, etc. Once I began self harming and got my suicidal tendencies, I just stopped caring about everything and never tried to make new friendships because I was certain that I would kms anyways soon. I also live in a pretty shitty town and even during my teenager days, the other teenagers I saw at school every day were the type who bully, smoke, do drugs, and look down on everyone who is from a poor household. It certainly doesn't help that I always looked much younger than I am so I guess the other teenagers didn't want to hang out with someone who looks several years younger than them. I have a few online friends who I met a few years ago, so there's that I guess, but I kinda wanna break contact with them before I kms for obvious reasons.

 

[sensenmann]

I also have no friends and don't plan on having some ever again, I'm just too negative and think everybody is out to get me.

I guess there is a point when you just get used to it and then when get to know people it feels alien to you so you push them away.

How do I cope with it? Listening to music, gaming and watching twitch streams.

 

[Crystal]

How do you guys cope with having no friends?

I have been mostly stuck at home for 7 years and haven't hung out with any IRL friends in 6 years.

There are people i talk to regularly online but i wouldn't consider them my true friends.

Plus i feel it is a lot more difficult now to make a meaningful online connection with someone than it was 16 years old in the old internet days because the modern internet culture is so toxic and everyone is an asshole for no reason.

I'm in the same boat but worse (being a NEET for my entire 20s my last friend was made in college I didn't keep in contact with her) the longer I got stuck the harder it is to get out of this hellhole I dug myself in and becoming more tired/lifeless with nothing better to do at home. Mainly going on the internet, playing games, watching shows/movies, listening to music, exercising, but stopped drawing years ago.
I don't have anyone to hang out with other than my own family members or a few others related to them. Even during my younger years I was a socially awkward loner, barely making one friend per school.
The only friends I have or talk to are online too (I always wrote walls of texts to people last year) but I only feel comfortable chatting with 2 of them daily on Discord wholeheartedly regarding my situation because they are relatable and they said a lot of touching things like they won't abandon me or even get to meet IRL someday. I feel too ashamed to admit to a few other pen pals about me being a jobless loser at this age with no social life even though they're nice or chill we just enjoy talking about general things.

 

[Nights]

Simple, i'm a loner