Venting No distractions :(

[BBY]

The only time I ever stop thinking and considering to ctb is when I'm talking to friends or playing something with them. But right now nobody is answering. I think I chased them all away. It feels like there is no way out of this low anymore. I can't depend on others to take care of me. I think I can't survive on my own but at the same time i keep making people get frustrated or bored of me. Any time I have someone special in my life I do something to make them hate me. I know they all do. I can't life on like this- constantly desperate for anyone to talk to me. They all will leave me soon enough. Should I just beat them to it, leave and ctb? I don't know what to do. I hope they won't mourn or miss me. I don't think they will actually. I wish dying wasn't this hard. If it were more accessible I wouldn't be here anymore.

 

[アホペンギン]

This must be an awful situation to be in, the pain of trying to escape from all of your negative thoughts by talking to someone close to you and only making them distance themselves from you is so horrible. I'm sorry that they have started to stop caring, in a way, but its human nature. Its regrettable that you have no one to talk to and help you ease the thoughts making you consider ctb. I hope you'll feel better soon and I hope something will be figured out soon between you and your close ones. Also, they will mourn your death. Anyone who has been friends with you for any period of time will feel some sort of sadness after your death, but, its impossible to predict how they will truly feel. I send you my best regards, I hope you'll find peace soon.

 

[BBY]

This must be an awful situation to be in, the pain of trying to escape from all of your negative thoughts by talking to someone close to you and only making them distance themselves from you is so horrible. I'm sorry that they have started to stop caring, in a way, but its human nature. Its regrettable that you have no one to talk to and help you ease the thoughts making you consider ctb. I hope you'll feel better soon and I hope something will be figured out soon between you and your close ones. Also, they will mourn your death. Anyone who has been friends with you for any period of time will feel some sort of sadness after your death, but, its impossible to predict how they will truly feel. I send you my best regards, I hope you'll find peace soon.

Thank you so much!! I'll probably figure out what to do this week )

 

[アホペンギン]

Thank you so much!! I'll probably figure out what to do this week )

Good luck with that!