No courage

[NoOneLovesMiMi]

All I can think about is why didn't I kill myself during the Pandemic.
I had nothing but time.
So can't go back but all I can think is why am I such a coward about it now.
Things are getting worse.
I'm so numb and detached that I often find myself just staring and zoning out.
I remember when I used to day dream about being in love with great friends and family.
Now I day dream about walking out of my job.
Going home to pour antifreeze in my drink and dying at home.
If I'm not day dreaming about that I'm just always thinking why can't I do it.
I get so upset with myself because my overthinking and fear of failing is keeping me from trying.
I have no other options.
I've tried Diginatis
I've tried Exit
I get sad and jealous when I hear about someone being murdered or having the guts to kill themselves because I know they no longer have to worry about life.
I hope I get the courage soon.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also envy those who are now eternally not existing, I find it so dreadful how it's not more straightforward to die on our own terms, it's cruel how we cannot just have the option to easily die in peace. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[Some place nice]

I'm sorry that your are suffering so much. You'll get the courage one day, I believe in you. Your will find peace my friend.

 

[SVEN]

When it is time, you will be ready. Until then, best wishes, so many of us can understand and share your feelings.

 

[NoOneLovesMiMi]

I'm sorry that your are suffering so much. You'll get the courage one day, I believe in you. Your will find peace my friend.

Thankyou
I really hope so
I keep trying to figure out how to make the best of things.
But there really isn't anything.

I also envy those who are now eternally not existing, I find it so dreadful how it's not more straightforward to die on our own terms, it's cruel how we cannot just have the option to easily die in peace. But anyway I wish you the best.

I think that's what hurts the most.
Knowing I'm being forced to live a life I don't want when there are resources.

When it is time, you will be ready. Until then, best wishes, so many of us can understand and share your feelings.

Thankyou
That makes me feel a little better.