Venting no change, everything just sucks

[resteasy3232]

i think the reason i wanna to ctb so bad is just not having any change, laziness, and shit thats happened over the years. its just hard to be happy about life for me even though i had a good life growing up and stuff, i think its just because of me getting exposed to the internet so early in age? idk, i dont know how to express how i fully feel but it sucked being exposed to the internet to early on in my life, i wish i coulda waited a bit or got into different things instead of getting to the darker things of the internet. idk :/