Nice suicidal authors - I recommend one and ask for more

[whatevs]

I'd say that my favourite book thus far of all times has to be No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai. This guy tried to kill himself with a lover, failed (but not her), then consequently accumulated even more shame by having someone killed without accompanying her, and finally did it with another lover. He seemed quite handsome in pictures, indeed. I relate with 80% of his thoughts and sentiments.

He was in fact a little disgusting, I would say, because the idea that he went around having his lovers drown ellicits some justified rage from normal society. You gotta admit there is something dark about a figure that instead of helping his lovers pick themselves up was more of a "suicidal-booster-man". Although I reckon some in the forum will find appeal in the romantic notion of couples catching the bus.

Any recommendations based on my tastes? I didn't like Fernando Pessoa as much, although there is some overlap. Pessoa ruined his work in my view by obsessing over "aesthetics". Ironically Dazai is a better writer just pouring his heart and experiences into the writings and not trying to be ingenious and craft impressive descriptions of irrelevant shit, like a rainy day. The only times I liked Pessoa is when he was sincere about how he felt about himself, life and society in general.

 

[LastFlowers]

I tried to read No Longer Human thinking I was going to love it and relate to it immensely, but the author/main character (the book is definitely somewhat autobiographical) just came across as a melodramatic and privileged man just looking for something to twist and complain about, reminded me of a perpetual actor staring into the sun just so tears would stream down his face.
I'm not saying there's nothing worthwhile in the book or that he is a bad author (obviously not), but goddamn I never felt so compelled to just start rapidly jotting contesting thoughts down into the margins, I even grabbed napkins to start scribbling my misgivings down onto and stuck them between the pages.
I was very surprised at how much it irritated me!
He was far from a decent human being, but he was most definitely a human, I think his dramatic perception of himself is what haunted him more than anything, definitely had some interesting things to say and not completely unsympathetic, but I would not like to have ever crossed paths with the guy.
He was extremely self-centered, self-indulgent and didn't mind taking other people down with him.


I don't think I've ever read anything by Pessoa (but tbf sometimes I forget who wrote the books I've read), I'm curious if I would like him since you enjoyed a book I had opposing views on, or if perhaps he is even more insufferable than Osamu Dazai was with his self-insert in No Longer Human (I do wonder also, if anything was lost in translation)...can you tell me what you meant by his focus on aesthetics?
Do you mean he got too caught up in pretty prose and fanciful/wordy descriptions?

I will try to think if I have read anything else of relevance to the question but I am awfully picky about books, more so than any other medium, so I don't read as often as I feel compelled to.
And I wonder if my recommendations would even be helpful since we seem to have different tastes lol

 

[whatevs]

Well, logic dictates I'd ought to detest what you like, but recommend away! hahaha

Yeah, you inferred correctly what I meant regarding Pessoa. That man didn't catch the bus voluntarily either, but you can tell that he was one of us, since he wrote the recurring phrase (with differing styling) in the forum of "Wish not only that I stopped existing but that I had never even existed in the first place".

Oh yeah, Dazai was very flawed and unlikable in some respects. Reading him was like therapy for me, for I saw clearly what I don't want to be, or shouldn't want to be. I think we both are vulnerable narcissists or something to that effect. If a narc is open about his feelings and how he relates to the world it's natural to feel repelled.

But I find unfair some of your harsh assessment of Dazai. That book acknowledged that he sucked, the whole thing is about explaining why he eventually killed himself. He knew the things you say about him, but he couldn't or didn't want to change them. For me what was more poignant were his explanations for social anxiety, and the possible role of childhood sexual abuse in the etiology of his (our) personality disorder.

 

[andor]

I think nice is a curious descriptor here tbh, ah.
My vote is for Thomas Bernhard if you're not already familiar.
"We're constantly correcting, and correcting ourselves, most rigorously , because we recognize at every moment that we did it all wrong, how we acted all wrong, that everything to this point in time is a falsification, so we correct this falsification, and then we again correct the correction of this falsification and we correct the result of the correction of a correction and so forth, so Roithamer. But the ultimate correction is one we keep delaying, the kind others have made without ado from one minute to the next, I think, so Roithamer, the kind they could, by the time they no longer thought about it, because they were afraid even to think about it, but then they did correct themselves, like my cousin, like his father, my uncle, like all the others whom we knew, as we thought, whom we knew so thoroughly, yet we didn't really know all these peoples' characters, because their self-correction took us by surprise, otherwise we wouldn't have been surprised by their ultimate existential correction, their suicide."
― Thomas Bernhard, Correction

 

[whatevs]

Hey, I know Bernhard, that one is very depressing, isn't he? Read a couple of his books in my terns, they were in the public libraries. But unlike Dazai, he didn't kill himself. Died of old age. Although suicide is very prevalent as a theme in the books I read... Interesting stream-of-conciousness style.

Nice pick, nice pick. Thanks.

 

[allesistgut]

i recently read "no longer human" as well and enjoyed it.

not sure if you're a fan of poetry? but if so i'd recommend the poems by sylvia plath. her book "the bell jar" is also quite good if i remeber right (it's been some years since i read it). like "no longer human" it's semi-autobiographical.

 

[Un-]

I'm far from someone articulate or whatever, but I loved No Longer Human. I know.. It's supposed to depict someone that either you should be disgusted with, or that you shouldn't really relate with.. But I see a crystal clear reflection of myself in Mr. Dazai. I guess that's rather cliche to say. Uh.. Natsume Soseki is an author I'd recommend. I had a phase where I was obsessed with depression literature and stuff, but depression got the best of me, and I gave up reading. His was the last book I read before I quit, though:

Spoiler: Plot spoiler

"I realized that two days or more had passed since Okusan had told K about [Ojōsan and my] engagement. Nothing in K's manner toward me had hinted that he knew anything, so I had remained unaware of it. I was now filled with respect for his composure, even though it was no doubt only superficial. By any standard, he was by far the better man. Though I've won through cunning, the real victory is his was the thought that spun in my head. How he must despise me! I said to myself, and I blushed with shame. Yet it mortified me to imagine going to K after all this and submitting to the inevitable humiliation.
Floundering in indecision, I finally put off the question of what to do until the next day. This was Saturday evening.
That night, however, K killed himself.

I still shudder at the memory of finding him there. I usually slept with my head facing east, but for some reason—fate, perhaps—that evening I had laid out my bedding to face the opposite direction. I was awakened in the night by a chill draft blowing in on my face. Opening my eyes, I saw that the sliding doors between our two rooms, which were normally closed, stood slightly ajar, just as they had when he appeared there some nights earlier.
This time, however, K's dark figure was not standing in the doorway. As if with a sudden presentiment, I propped myself on one elbow and peered tensely into his room. The lamp had burned low. The bedding was laid out. But the edge of the quilt was thrown back. And there was K, slumped forward with his back to me.
I called out to him. There was no response. "Is something wrong?" I called again. But his body remained motionless. I leaped up and went to the doorway. Standing there, I surveyed his room by the lamp's faint light.
My first feeling was almost the same as the initial shock his sudden confession of love had given me. I took in the room with a single sweeping glance, and then my gaze froze—my eyeballs stared in their sockets as if made of glass. I stood rooted to the spot. When this first gale of shock had blown through me, my next thought was Oh god, it's all over. The knowledge that this was irredeemable shot its black blaze through my future and for an instant lit with terrifying clarity all the life that lay before me. Then I began to tremble.
But even in this extremity I could not forget about myself. My eyes fell on a letter lying on the desk. It was addressed to me, as I had guessed. Frantically, I tore open the seal. But I was not prepared for what I read there. I had assumed that this letter would say things deeply painful for me to read, and I was terrified at how Okusan and Ojōsan would despise me if they saw it. A quick glance instantly relieved me, however. Saved! I thought. (In fact, of course, it was only my reputation that was saved, but how others saw me was a matter of immense importance just then.)
The letter was simple and contained nothing specific. He was committing suicide, he wrote, because he was weak and infirm of purpose, and because the future held nothing for him. With a few brief words he thanked me for all I had done for him. As a final request, he asked me to see to his affairs after his death. He also asked me to apologize to Okusan for the trouble he was causing her and to inform his family. The letter was a series of simple statements of essential matters; the only thing missing was any mention of Ojōsan. I read it to the end and understood that K had deliberately avoided mentioning her.
But it was the letter's final words that pierced my heart most keenly. With the last of the brush's ink, he had added that he should have died sooner and did not know why he had lived so long." - from Koroko

 

[come to dust]

The bell jar by sylvia plath

 

[Ashu]

"L'airone", by Giorgio Bassani. William Styron's "Sophie's Choice", of course. His memoir "Darkness Visible" vividly describes his suicidal state of mind, though I would never read it again, because I found his pious acceptance of conventional biopsychiatric mythology too irritating.

 

[whatevs]

Uh.. Natsume Soseki is an author I'd recommend.

I`m gonna try the last one before he died, 'Las hierbas del camino', unknown English title. Of course No Longer Human is a cult classic that should be recited by memory.

 

[Emmie]

Michel Houellbecq writes about suicide often in his novels. IIRC, in "Serotonin" there is an interesting part about the protagonist trying to muster the courage to jump out of the window of his high rise apartment. He tries to practice moving quickly toward the window over and over so it becomes a matter of muscle memory. He also tries to clear his mind as he does it, because when he over thinks he always hesitates to actually jump.

 

[whatevs]

Michel Houellbecq writes about suicide often in his novels. IIRC, in "Serotonin" there is an interesting part about the protagonist trying to muster the courage to jump out of the window of his high rise apartment. He tries to practice moving quickly toward the window over and over so it becomes a matter of muscle memory. He also tries to clear his mind as he does it, because when he over thinks he always hesitates to actually jump.

Houellebeq is like the writer incels would wish into existence. Good writing skills but I find it debased that he thinks sex should define human happiness. We can do much more than plow each other. Of course, this is coming from someone that can´t stop masturbating to pornography, but when the whole environment is materialist and sexualized is hard not to fall into the easiest way to comfort yourself.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

Houellebeq is like the writer incels would wish into existence. Good writing skills but I find it debased that he thinks sex should define human happiness. We can do much more than plow each other. Of course, this is coming from someone that can´t stop masturbating to pornography, but when the whole environment is materialist and sexualized is hard not to fall into the easiest way to comfort yourself.

It's interesting he's associated with incels because if I recall correctly he's married!

 

[whatevs]

It's interesting he's associated with incels because if I recall correctly he's married!

Extension du domaine de la lutte is very incelish. He has incel ideas or his characters do, even if he fucks women. It's not mutually exclusive. And seeing how fucking ugly he is, he obviously has experienced some of what the character goes through.

 

[come to dust]

Houllebeq is also anti euthanasia, which is ironic for how much suicide is in his books. Hypocrite.

 

[ghqkiiia2]

Arthur Koestler, although his masterpiece "Darkness At Noon" is heavily related to politics so might not be that interesting to those who aren't interested in such topic. But he did manage to CTB by N, and he took his part in the founding of the Exit international.

I'd say that my favourite book thus far of all times has to be No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai. This guy tried to kill himself with a lover, failed (but not her), then consequently accumulated even more shame by having someone killed without accompanying her, and finally did it with another lover. He seemed quite handsome in pictures, indeed. I relate with 80% of his thoughts and sentiments.

He was in fact a little disgusting, I would say, because the idea that he went around having his lovers drown ellicits some justified rage from normal society. You gotta admit there is something dark about a figure that instead of helping his lovers pick themselves up was more of a "suicidal-booster-man". Although I reckon some in the forum will find appeal in the romantic notion of couples catching the bus.

Any recommendations based on my tastes? I didn't like Fernando Pessoa as much, although there is some overlap. Pessoa ruined his work in my view by obsessing over "aesthetics". Ironically Dazai is a better writer just pouring his heart and experiences into the writings and not trying to be ingenious and craft impressive descriptions of irrelevant shit, like a rainy day. The only times I liked Pessoa is when he was sincere about how he felt about himself, life and society in general.

Ryunosuke Akutagawa (芥川 龍之介), his works are generally not long, but very fascinating. In related to the topic youmentioned, the following three works are recommend: "Hell Screen"(地獄変 Jigokuhen), "The Life of a Fool"(或阿呆の一生 Aru Aho no Issho), and the "Spinning Gears"(歯車 Haguruma). But I am not sure if the last one has a solid English translation.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Two arms and a head, you can read the entire book for free on its eponymously named website.

 

[Nohopejoe]

I don't think I would like that book no longer human. I have no desire to harm anyone else, in fact I even wish my enemies get better and go on to have a good life. I can't say I always have felt that way but this is what I have evolved two. I really only want to end my suffering. It is only myself that I have no hope for

 

[whatevs]

I don't think I would like that book no longer human. I have no desire to harm anyone else, in fact I even wish my enemies get better and go on to have a good life. I can't say I always have felt that way but this is what I have evolved two. I really only want to end my suffering. It is only myself that I have no hope for

Dazai didn't want his lovers to die, he just wanted to die with someone. It's not exactly the same.

 

[Nohopejoe]

Yes I understand the feeling of not wanting to die alone. The other night I was talking with a friend who has serious troubles also. I mentioned wanting to end it all and he said we could just start an engine that was in his garage and peacefully go to sleep forever. For a minute that gave me great comfort for some reason, Maybe because I'm scared to die alone. But I said no don't do that. I love my friend even though he's a mess, he's only 40 years old and I think he could get better. I wouldn't want to be any part of him ending his life. But yes I can understand the appeal of ending it all with a friend. I just don't think I agree with it

 

[ghqkiiia2]

I don't think I would like that book no longer human. I have no desire to harm anyone else, in fact I even wish my enemies get better and go on to have a good life. I can't say I always have felt that way but this is what I have evolved two. I really only want to end my suffering. It is only myself that I have no hope for

Have you ever read "The Heart of The Matter" by Graham Greene? The protagonist Major Scobie seems to be on the same page of you, in his final moments he wished everyone he knew would have a better life including his enemies.

yukio mishima also fits the bill

A funny fact is that Mishima Yukio once openly admitted his disapproval on Dazai in an interview by some high school students, in which he argues that if you went into Daizai's mind too deep, there would be a danger that you get caught into a lingering sucide intention, and Mishima personally knew some cases. Ironically , Mishima committed suicide a few years later.
Apologies if I replied too much on this issue.

 

[Nohopejoe]

Have you ever read "The Heart of The Matter" by Graham Greene?

No I never read that. I more or less came to that conclusion after reading the Bible for about 20 years. Believe me that is not the way I felt up until about the last year. I must not be The Brightest Bulb because it took quite a while for me to understand that if I want forgiveness I have to have forgiveness

 

[ghqkiiia2]

No I never read that. I more or less came to that conclusion after reading the Bible for about 20 years. Believe me that is not the way I felt up until about the last year. I must not be The Brightest Bulb because it took quite a while for me to understand that if I want forgiveness I have to have forgiveness

I envy you. People who know me commend me for never getting angry, but in fact I do get angry, just bottled up inside, so looks like I wasn't angry. But I rarely forgive. Maybe I should start to do some King James Bible too.

 

[Nohopejoe]

Yeah that was me too. I'd alternate between outbursts but with most of it bottled up. Sometimes so bottled up that I bit my fingers, not enough to draw blood or anything, but enough that it was leaving odd shaped calluses on them.

I have finally come to the conclusion that I am not so righteous as I thought I was. I've done terrible hurtful things to people, sadly most of who I hurt were the people closest to me. I've done terrible things like heavy drinking, adultery, neglect, and verbal abuse just to name a few. And so many times I have dropped the ball and left a mess to be cleaned up by others. I'm really not so great.

I envy you. People who know me commend me for never getting angry, but in fact I do get angry, just bottled up inside, so looks like I wasn't angry. But I rarely forgive. Maybe I should start to do some King James Bible too.

 

[ghqkiiia2]

I've done terrible hurtful things to people, sadly most of who I hurt were the people closest to me.

It's sad. But inevitable, if your drop the ball in front of those who don't love and care you, they would just ignore you.
Part of the reason why CTB is so hard for me, because I know it would definitely leave some negative impact for those who love and care me. Alas.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

I agree with Plath and Houllebecq - both are fantastic, but also suggest my main man JD Salinger: 'A Perfect Day for Bananafish' is a charming suicide short story, for instance. Patrick Hamilton - who coined the term 'gaslighting' - is also excellent at writing in dark themes: Hangover Square springs to mind especially.

 

[ReallyTired]

David Foster Wallace seems interesting.
He wrote vividly about depression. Also, his description of suicide in his book Infinite Jest is so visceral, it's hard not to relate.
My favourite quote:

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

David Foster Wallace seems interesting.
He wrote vividly about depression. Also, his description of suicide in his book Infinite Jest is so visceral, it's hard not to relate.
My favourite quote:
View attachment 94937

How did I forget him??? I read Infinite Jest in 2019 - took me almost the whole year but it was worth it lol.

 

[whatevs]

A funny fact is that Mishima Yukio once openly admitted his disapproval on Dazai in an interview by some high school students, in which he argues that if you went into Daizai's mind too deep, there would be a danger that you get caught into a lingering sucide intention, and Mishima personally knew some cases. Ironically , Mishima committed suicide a few years later.

'Life of a Mask' or similar, by Mishima, has a similar tone to Dazai's No Longer Human. It's worse, IMO. In the end, both their work and their final act showed similarities. We often will frown upon exactly what we don't like about ourselves. Of course, Mishima had some kind of fascist/militaristic vein, while Dazai was more of the typical alienated guy that would desert as soon as possible during war, but both were out of place ultimately.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

Extension du domaine de la lutte is very incelish. He has incel ideas or his characters do, even if he fucks women. It's not mutually exclusive. And seeing how fucking ugly he is, he obviously has experienced some of what the character goes through.

I've always wanted to read that book. I've seen clips from the film adaptation. I actually don't think he's terribly bad looking as you say but I am sure it all must have come from a very personal place.