Venting next attempt (maybe??)

[livingdeaddyke]

I've been thinking about it for a while like 1-2 years at most.

I went to a library art show whatever, I was on the second floor, it was a round railing. a good height. I felt very drawn to it. At the time I wasn't at a very good mood, I was still very suicidal. at that moment I just wanted to jump but I couldn't, too many people were on the same floor as me and would try to stop me. i was having a silent panic attack because of my mental health, suicide ideation, and anxiety from just too many people.

Ever since then I've been having constant, intense, ideations of myself jumping and falling on the ground below (since there are people below me for obvious reasons, I have to position myself at an angle where I don't hurt anybody. it's the last thing I wanna do).

Apart of me is also fearful by how much it will hurt me and how I'm going to feel everything, especially fracturing and breaking my bones, or worse, paralyzed (but that's if a land on my spine I guess) ... but I feel like I was meant to do this anyway. if I do survive, at the very least I quelled my curiosity on how it would feel to jump and survive lol.

 

[T22222222]

if you want to jump, please don't do it from a low story.. you'll end up paralysed most probably

 

[black_iris]

if you want to jump, please don't do it from a low story.. you'll end up paralysed most probably

yeah and youll also end up in some mental hospital if you survive which also sucks.

The bigger the height, the better. try to not land on bushes and trees and water, concrete is the best, but grass and sand may also work. my dream method is definitely jumping too but SI always takes over when i try. Try to jump from at least 100 feet, not far enough to reach terminal velocity, but far enough that survival is very rare. Im working on a jumping guide soon too. I hope if you actually do it that its peaceful and painless. its okay to change your mind too though. you should research places near you (bridges/lighthouses/ skyscrapers/cliffs/etc) so you find a good spot where youll die quickly and painlessly without being paralyzed or caught (hostage situations are the worst). I wish for your ctb to be peaceful if you do decide it.

 

[livingdeaddyke]

yeah and youll also end up in some mental hospital if you survive which also sucks.

The bigger the height, the better. try to not land on bushes and trees and water, concrete is the best, but grass and sand may also work. my dream method is definitely jumping too but SI always takes over when i try. Try to jump from at least 100 feet, not far enough to reach terminal velocity, but far enough that survival is very rare. Im working on a jumping guide soon too. I hope if you actually do it that its peaceful and painless. its okay to change your mind too though. you should research places near you (bridges/lighthouses/ skyscrapers/cliffs/etc) so you find a good spot where youll die quickly and painlessly without being paralyzed or caught (hostage situations are the worst). I wish for your ctb to be peaceful if you do decide it.

tysm for the info!