Destin
Member
- Aug 15, 2018
- 32
Just wanted to drop in an give an update.
As some of you know im 25 and have been depressed for most of my life. I was going to give things a couple more years before re evaluating and committing to another, more serious- lethal attempt than my first one, which resulted in a 3 day coma from a psych medication overdose.
About a month ago I was in the shower and I asked the universe to 'please send me someone.'
A week later a very nice boy across the city started talking to me. I went over to his place to meet him and within the first hour had the most insane connection ive ever experienced.
I could go on about how the past few weeks have been for me. Hes given my flowers, makes me food every morning. I was with him during a major surgery, which will be just one of many that are coming up soon. We showed each other our self harm scars. Talked about our exes and our codependency issues and problems saying no to people. We think and say things at the same time.
On the second night of knowing him, I told him about my plans to ctb in a couple of years if things didnt get better. I cried on his chest and he moved me to the bed and he quietly cried too and said he hopes maybe he could change my mind, or if nothing else that this experience will let me know that there are good things out there for me.
So, I have a boyfriend now. And a renewed sense of hope. I cannot begin to tell you guys I have never had someone be this kind and understanding towards me. ...
Im so not used to it that its hard for my brain to process it, and if I didnt know any better I would run from it.
Ultimately I dont know what will happen. Maybe this will just be a beautiful time in my life, until it isnt again and I dont want to stick around. But either way Im glad it happened.
So I want to wish all of you the best of luck, in life, or in your death. Which ever will bring you the most peace.
As some of you know im 25 and have been depressed for most of my life. I was going to give things a couple more years before re evaluating and committing to another, more serious- lethal attempt than my first one, which resulted in a 3 day coma from a psych medication overdose.
About a month ago I was in the shower and I asked the universe to 'please send me someone.'
A week later a very nice boy across the city started talking to me. I went over to his place to meet him and within the first hour had the most insane connection ive ever experienced.
I could go on about how the past few weeks have been for me. Hes given my flowers, makes me food every morning. I was with him during a major surgery, which will be just one of many that are coming up soon. We showed each other our self harm scars. Talked about our exes and our codependency issues and problems saying no to people. We think and say things at the same time.
On the second night of knowing him, I told him about my plans to ctb in a couple of years if things didnt get better. I cried on his chest and he moved me to the bed and he quietly cried too and said he hopes maybe he could change my mind, or if nothing else that this experience will let me know that there are good things out there for me.
So, I have a boyfriend now. And a renewed sense of hope. I cannot begin to tell you guys I have never had someone be this kind and understanding towards me. ...
Im so not used to it that its hard for my brain to process it, and if I didnt know any better I would run from it.
Ultimately I dont know what will happen. Maybe this will just be a beautiful time in my life, until it isnt again and I dont want to stick around. But either way Im glad it happened.
So I want to wish all of you the best of luck, in life, or in your death. Which ever will bring you the most peace.
