february in alaska
wandering aimlessly
- Sep 13, 2023
- 462
Alright, here we go again. I figured since I'm genuinely considering SN I need to make a concrete plan for myself just so I don't keep putting it off and end up living another decade.
Plan is to open a mailbox on Tuesday and order SN the same day to that. If it still hasn't arrived by mid February I'll have to pull out my hanging supplies instead. But during the wait I'll get 800mg of Tagamet (as per the megathread) and figure out how to get the AEs. I'm going to have to research how much is necessary for that. I might bring it up with my psychiatrist, but I don't know if she'll be suspicious and I'm already on Sertraline so I don't know if there would be an issue with mixing the two (which would stop her from getting me a Px). If that doesn't work out I'm going to keep an eye on other sources, potentially darknet, where I don't need a Px, and if that doesn't work I'll turn to whatever OTC shit I can get my hands on.
If anyone happens to know, please tell me if it would be more effective to take more OTC AEs than recommended or if that would do more harm than good
Ideally I would need to go through with this before the 13th of February, but if I have a good sense the SN will come I might extend my date by a month or two. My brain feels itchy just thinking about it. I'm ready for this to be over. I really, really hate having to plan all of this shit out and the uncertainty and fear I will undoubtedly have about customs/welfare checks. But I'm so close
Plan is to open a mailbox on Tuesday and order SN the same day to that. If it still hasn't arrived by mid February I'll have to pull out my hanging supplies instead. But during the wait I'll get 800mg of Tagamet (as per the megathread) and figure out how to get the AEs. I'm going to have to research how much is necessary for that. I might bring it up with my psychiatrist, but I don't know if she'll be suspicious and I'm already on Sertraline so I don't know if there would be an issue with mixing the two (which would stop her from getting me a Px). If that doesn't work out I'm going to keep an eye on other sources, potentially darknet, where I don't need a Px, and if that doesn't work I'll turn to whatever OTC shit I can get my hands on.
If anyone happens to know, please tell me if it would be more effective to take more OTC AEs than recommended or if that would do more harm than good
Ideally I would need to go through with this before the 13th of February, but if I have a good sense the SN will come I might extend my date by a month or two. My brain feels itchy just thinking about it. I'm ready for this to be over. I really, really hate having to plan all of this shit out and the uncertainty and fear I will undoubtedly have about customs/welfare checks. But I'm so close
