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paperwork

Idiot
Dec 26, 2025
36
I've been lurking on this site for a long time. I recently made an account and it's almost surreal that I got accepted. It feels like it's another step towards CTB. I've been haunted with thoughts since I was 11, and I'm 28 now. I've tried to (stupidly) poison myself with lily of the valley, I've attempted hanging more times than I can count and I'm seriously considering drowning or co2 suffocation. Sn seems easiest but hardest to obtain. Times are tough lol.
 
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Reactions: Kazu Ha, Gambit, kuroshimi and 4 others
darksouls

darksouls

Illuminated
May 10, 2025
3,341
welcome to sasu
 
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Reactions: Carryline
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
15,322
Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you've been suffering since childhood. I hope you find some solace here.
 
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Reactions: darksouls
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paperwork

Idiot
Dec 26, 2025
36
Thank you! Me too lmao, I dont know if I'm fully committed to ctb quite yet, it depends on if certain things work out, or don't.
 
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Reactions: darksouls
kuroshimi

kuroshimi

If you're not remembered, then you never existed.
Dec 1, 2025
282
Welcome here and sorry that you struggling. I myself reached some kind of point of no return when I was accepted. But I mostly like being here.
 
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Reactions: darksouls
P

paperwork

Idiot
Dec 26, 2025
36
Honestly it's really nice to be able to voice how I'm feeling. I don't feel comfortable telling anyone in my life because if I want to do it, I feel like I should have the freedom to be able to. If I told someone irl I'm so scared I'd be locked away.
 
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Reactions: itsgone2 and darksouls
unluckysadness

unluckysadness

Enlightened
Jul 9, 2025
1,153
Welcome here 🙋‍♂️ I hope you'll find answers and above all : peace.
 
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Reactions: darksouls and paperwork

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