Help New here, opinions on my situation/ ctb options

[imtired15]

I have been told I am mean and abusive my whole life by my whole family. Even when I was young and I had no idea what was really happening. I feel like I just hurt others. I am too mentally weak to deal with the shit that is this world. I was given the most horrible hand at poker for this life, without me having any say in it. Who said I wanted to play this game? My family chose other things like drugs over me. I wasn't important, I will never be. I just am a burden on my friends now. I wouldn't be in pain anymore and I wouldn't bother anyone if I was gone. I have tried CTB before but SI always kicked in and I failed. I have turned to drinking for my pain. I really feel like I have no use in this world, I add nothing to society. So I am wondering how to hang, I know that it's painful, that is what scares me out of it. I really want to try gas, the old hose from the exhaust of a car into the window of the car trick. I don't have a hose, It would be suspicious if I got one too. Also I would have to find a secluded area as I do not have a garage. I have a therapist and everything. I don't want to get committed though, I know I will if I say what is really on my mind. I guess I am asking for a painless way out? I have tried so many times, but always the SI kicked in. I want to stop bothering people so bad. I want my pain to end. Thanks for reading.

 

[CW36]

So I am wondering how to hang, I know that it's painful, that is what scares me out of it.

Hi, I'm sorry life has brought you here. With regards to hanging, it's not that painful, and consciousness will quickly be lost if carried out correctly. It's still the most popular method worldwide, and for good reason.

NEW FULL SUSPENSION megathread

I thought maybe I would contribute in a small way back to this community as I hope to ctb very soon (depending if I get info from this). I think we can all admit that the hanging megathread at this point is overloaded and just confusing. Partial and full suspension is talked there but without...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Full / Complete is a one way ticket to CTB (as long as the rope and anchor hold, and all wannabe heroes are on their lunch break). Also, SI is futile with this method, as you can't escape. I'm afraid that SI is a factor with most other methods, including partial.

 

[conarc]

Look for Sodium Nitrite (SN). Peaceful, cheap and easily available.

 

[Rainy Saturday]

Look for Sodium Nitrite (SN). Peaceful, cheap and easily

Where can I buy this?