Never in my life was I suicidal until ….

[sadnurse]

Hi guys I'm a recentl new member here and I'm really struggling with something … last April I had a routine surgery to remove endometriosis and I had an adverse reaction to the scopolamine patch or the anesthesia which led to so many issues … severe anxiety, panic attacks , brain fog, nausea, headaches, brain tingling. Fast forward to now and I'm still struggling with this weird body anxiety that is debilitating… I can't work anymore , or do much. My Life is basically over , I can't enjoy anything anymore, I always feel scared. My doctors have no answers for me , put me on a bunch of medications that didn't work , the only thing that helps somewhat is Ativan and I know I can't take this forever and I hate it because it makes me so out of it and sleepy..this is a true nightmare, I loved my life before and now I'm thinking of CTBing soon with N because I can't stand living like this another second. This just isn't fair.

 

[Snake of Eden]

That just goes to show that no one is ever safe from small thing happening in their life which will change them forever for the worse. My sympathies for your situation. I say give yourself sometime to hopefully get better and explore more options before attempting.

 

[UnEssential]

Hi guys I'm a recentl new member here and I'm really struggling with something … last April I had a routine surgery to remove endometriosis and I had an adverse reaction to the scopolamine patch or the anesthesia which led to so many issues … severe anxiety, panic attacks , brain fog, nausea, headaches, brain tingling. Fast forward to now and I'm still struggling with this weird body anxiety that is debilitating… I can't work anymore , or do much. My Life is basically over , I can't enjoy anything anymore, I always feel scared. My doctors have no answers for me , put me on a bunch of medications that didn't work , the only thing that helps somewhat is Ativan and I know I can't take this forever and I hate it because it makes me so out of it and sleepy..this is a true nightmare, I loved my life before and now I'm thinking of CTBing soon with N because I can't stand living like this another second. This just isn't fair.

Try different doctors, lots of them if you have to.

 

[Lone_Gray_Wolf]

Just one thing and a wrong reaction is all it took. I bet you never saw it coming, no one could have. Sorry you have to feel that way, feeling out of yourself, probably like floating on this world, but humans are not meant to feel that way.

I wish you the best, we are here if you need to vent.

Good luck.

 

[Darkover]

well, life just fine and dandy. couldn't be better. im going to have a good time here, into you don't then you realize the world is a hellhole.

 

[toforigivelife]

Hi guys I'm a recentl new member here and I'm really struggling with something … last April I had a routine surgery to remove endometriosis and I had an adverse reaction to the scopolamine patch or the anesthesia which led to so many issues … severe anxiety, panic attacks , brain fog, nausea, headaches, brain tingling. Fast forward to now and I'm still struggling with this weird body anxiety that is debilitating… I can't work anymore , or do much. My Life is basically over , I can't enjoy anything anymore, I always feel scared. My doctors have no answers for me , put me on a bunch of medications that didn't work , the only thing that helps somewhat is Ativan and I know I can't take this forever and I hate it because it makes me so out of it and sleepy..this is a true nightmare, I loved my life before and now I'm thinking of CTBing soon with N because I can't stand living like this another second. This just isn't fair.

As far as health coverage; are you in a position to get tested for temporal lobe epilepsy?

I went into heart failure a year ago and came away from it with temporal lobe epilepsy and I have the same symptoms that you have described; severe anxiety, body seizures, clinical depression, inability to receive love or comfort, inability to enjoy anything, brain fog, memory issues.

A person can develop temporal lobe epilepsy after having a surgery like the one you had and being left with less blood flowing to the brain.

A diagnosis would involve getting an MRI and an EEG. I don't know if an EEG is actually required, I only read somewhere that it was.

If you can make an appointment with your doctor and describe your symptoms and then discuss getting a diagnosis for temporal lobe epilepsy then I really encourage you to do so.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. It's isolating, confusing and very painful.

I hope you can talk to someone about this soon. Good luck my friend.

 

[Midgardsorm]

Hi. I'm sorry for that.

It's really strange but I guess some medications are very potent and sometimes mess up with us. I had a panic crisis recently and I just wish that I never have it again, because I simply won't withstand another one. It was debilitating, I wish for no one. So knowing that you might be experiencing this makes few really bad for you.

I hope you feel better soon

I agree with @toforgivelife . Maybe some test might be good if you haven't done yet.

I wish you the best. We are here for you.

 

[sadnurse]

Just one thing and a wrong reaction is all it took. I bet you never saw it coming, no one could have. Sorry you have to feel that way, feeling out of yourself, probably like floating on this world, but humans are not meant to feel that way.

I wish you the best, we are here if you need to vent.

Good luck.

"Feeling out of yourself " is a perfect way to describe how I feel….

 

[plough22]

I had something happen to me, not medical, your life can be so good and then taken away. I hope it's gets better.

What keeps me from N is knowing my luck, it'll be stopped or worst. I wish you the best in the course you take. I hope things get better. Nothing worst then looking at a dark hole but maybe there is some light

 

[toforigivelife]

"Feeling out of yourself " is a perfect way to describe how I feel….

sadnurse, I don't mean to be a pest or a nag but did you get a chance to read my post? Do you think you might have symptoms of temporal lobe epilepsy?

I'm so sorry that you're going through this, I completely understand how you feel.

 

[FuneralCry]

It can be terrible being trapped in the human body, after all there is no limit as to how bad things can get. Our bodies can torture us. Nobody should have to suffer like that. At least you have the option of N, that is the best suicide method in my opinion. Life is so horrible and I'm sorry your life was ruined. It is sad when someone wants to live but they are unable to. Anyway, I wish you the best and I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[sadnurse]

sadnurse, I don't mean to be a pest or a nag but did you get a chance to read my post? Do you think you might have symptoms of temporal lobe epilepsy?

I'm so sorry that you're going through this, I completely understand how you feel.

I did read your post , I don't know if I have that since I'm not having seizures, I have an doctor appointment next Monday with my neurologist… I'll ask her about it, Ivd already had an brain mri and it was normal .. I'm also supposed to have an eeg soon. Thank you for your response

 

[Rational man]

Theres lots of people with chronic medical conditions, living and trying to get through each day. I have chronic illness too and there's little-known cure or treatment for me. Authodox medicine has given up. I used to think how unfair it is, but then Im not a victim. I accept that ive been handed a 'bad card'.... it happens to other people, doesn't it !?. The world continues unabated. As for you, me and everyone else in this state of awfulness, we remain invisible.

 

[toforigivelife]

I did read your post , I don't know if I have that since I'm not having seizures, I have an doctor appointment next Monday with my neurologist… I'll ask her about it, Ivd already had an brain mri and it was normal .. I'm also supposed to have an eeg soon. Thank you for your response

Im glad you have an appointment with your doctor. Be sure to describe what you've described here and ask about the possibility of temporal lobe epilepsy.

I hope you find an answer and relief soon.

 

[IsThisReal]

@sadnurse can you detail more on your symptoms and on the timing in which they appear? Are you sure it is not from the surgery itself?
Have you had any special examinations / treatments before the surgery?

 

[ihatemylife]

That just goes to show that no one is ever safe from small thing happening in their life which will change them forever for the worse. My sympathies for your situation. I say give yourself sometime to hopefully get better and explore more options before attempting.
So true ans once you come to realize that you will never look at life the same.