controlledchaos420
Member
- Jun 14, 2023
- 12
Hello. My name is Roe (not really, shortened from my real name), and I live in the United States. I live with my mother, father, and three brothers. I am looking for a way for me to ctb overnight, where nobody sees. I have been reading through some threads here already, and I saw some that I might try, but I'm just looking for more ideas.
I don't have many friends, and I'm getting bullied on the daily. When I see somebody, I feel jealously. Even if they are younger than me, I still want to be them and have their life, their friends. I try my absolute best to get through every day, but honestly, the only thing that makes me want to wake up every day is the internet. I have fun drawing animals and furries. It's kinda sad, but that's really it. Even if it's all I want to do now, my motivation to do it burns out so fast. I have no want or need to go on. I have been sexually assaulted, groomed, manipulated, and bullied all in the last week, some going on longer than that.
I can't even look myself in the mirror without feeling disgusted and overwhelmed, wanting to cut out all of my fat or claw out my eyes so I never have to see anything of myself ever again. I can't do anything without being looked at sideways or spoken about behind my back. I can't do this anymore, I really can't. I'm unsatisfied with myself. My looks, my voice, my personality, and the war I'm trying so hard to win in my head. I'm tired of feeling like this but I know that I always will feel it. I only have 25 dollars to my name. What can I purchase? I can't do anything with prescriptions. All that is in the house is ibeprophen, sertraline, and adderall. Could somebody send something to my address to assist me? I don't know what to do anymore.
It's really hard for me to talk about what's going on but I am making this post as an attempt to reach out for the help I need, getting methods to finally catch my long awaited bus.
I don't have many friends, and I'm getting bullied on the daily. When I see somebody, I feel jealously. Even if they are younger than me, I still want to be them and have their life, their friends. I try my absolute best to get through every day, but honestly, the only thing that makes me want to wake up every day is the internet. I have fun drawing animals and furries. It's kinda sad, but that's really it. Even if it's all I want to do now, my motivation to do it burns out so fast. I have no want or need to go on. I have been sexually assaulted, groomed, manipulated, and bullied all in the last week, some going on longer than that.
I can't even look myself in the mirror without feeling disgusted and overwhelmed, wanting to cut out all of my fat or claw out my eyes so I never have to see anything of myself ever again. I can't do anything without being looked at sideways or spoken about behind my back. I can't do this anymore, I really can't. I'm unsatisfied with myself. My looks, my voice, my personality, and the war I'm trying so hard to win in my head. I'm tired of feeling like this but I know that I always will feel it. I only have 25 dollars to my name. What can I purchase? I can't do anything with prescriptions. All that is in the house is ibeprophen, sertraline, and adderall. Could somebody send something to my address to assist me? I don't know what to do anymore.
It's really hard for me to talk about what's going on but I am making this post as an attempt to reach out for the help I need, getting methods to finally catch my long awaited bus.