Need to speak

[plumelo]

Hello,

I have been consulting this site for a while now and preparing my attempt. I'm not very active simply because of the language barrier. I'm very bad at English. Probably because the French school system is rotten and I always had horrible teachers who made me hate this subject. Paradoxically, if I were to be reincarnated I would like to be a little American girl, a champion cheerleader. In short...

Everything is now ready for my attempt. I will go with SN. The idea would be to do it in August, when I will be alone at home while my parents are on vacation with my nephews. My SN comes from DMC and I am sure it is operational. So there is no chance that I will fail. Maybe calling for help. But due to my autism I am unable to call. And to be sure that IF didn't make me do it, I was thinking of locking my phone in a safe with a key.
Do you think my plan is reliable enough?

Now I will talk about my few remaining concerns.
I'm worried about who will find me, I know that my parents will worry after a few days without news. So they will call a neighbor to check. But I know that discovering a body is quite traumatic, what can I do to make it a little less difficult ?.
I'm also a little afraid of being alone, if I ever fail I won't be able to cope and that scares me.
Then also my life is deteriorating more and more currently, and waiting another 2 months to end it seems to me like an eternity, how can I "appreciate" the end of my life, that these two months seem shorter?

 

[Begotten]

Maybe if you lie down in your bed under your covers like you were sleeping it can minimize a little bit the trauma of finding a death body, at least would be less worse than finding a body suspended in a tree or fallen in the ground.

Still would be traumatic but at least wouldn't be horrendous

 

[ferrie]

Your English is actually very good! Maybe a bit formal, but that's not really unusual with native speakers. I wouldn't have guessed that it's not your first language.

I think locking your phone up may be overkill, and I would worry about not being able to abort if anything goes wrong. If it would give you more peace of mind though, then I'd say go for it.

With regards to the difficulties with discovering the body, you could schedule an email to the police so a neighbor or family member wouldn't have to see it. Most local police stations should have a dedicated contact email that is checked regularly, and scheduling an email to send after you pass is fairly simple. What do you mean by being afraid to be alone? Only you can truly decide how to make the most of your time, but I would suggest taking these two months to try things you never got to do or reconnect with old passions like hobbies you enjoyed as a kid or a favorite location you haven't visited in a long time

 

[set0553]

Hello,

I have been consulting this site for a while now and preparing my attempt. I'm not very active simply because of the language barrier. I'm very bad at English. Probably because the French school system is rotten and I always had horrible teachers who made me hate this subject. Paradoxically, if I were to be reincarnated I would like to be a little American girl, a champion cheerleader. In short...

Everything is now ready for my attempt. I will go with SN. The idea would be to do it in August, when I will be alone at home while my parents are on vacation with my nephews. My SN comes from DMC and I am sure it is operational. So there is no chance that I will fail. Maybe calling for help. But due to my autism I am unable to call. And to be sure that IF didn't make me do it, I was thinking of locking my phone in a safe with a key.
Do you think my plan is reliable enough?

Now I will talk about my few remaining concerns.
I'm worried about who will find me, I know that my parents will worry after a few days without news. So they will call a neighbor to check. But I know that discovering a body is quite traumatic, what can I do to make it a little less difficult ?.
I'm also a little afraid of being alone, if I ever fail I won't be able to cope and that scares me.
Then also my life is deteriorating more and more currently, and waiting another 2 months to end it seems to me like an eternity, how can I "appreciate" the end of my life, that these two months seem shorter?

Google and Yandex translate seem to be pretty good! Using Yandex I can also parler Français something that could make the time go quicker would be to do something fun. Go all out and do things you always wanted to but never thought you would do, like hang gliding, visiting the empire state building, etc.. OK, those ones might be bad ideas in particular, but you get my meaning! Just have lots of fun and enjoy.. above all, best of luck, and finding peace.

 

[PseudoUnipolar]

To make these two months bearable, you could try researching interesting topics, start watching a really long series, discover new things in general (music, youtubers, books etc.) or if your energy levels are low I would try just sleeping through most days.

 

[plumelo]

Your English is actually very good! Maybe a bit formal, but that's not really unusual with native speakers. I wouldn't have guessed that it's not your first language.

With regards to the difficulties with discovering the body, you could schedule an email to the police so a neighbor or family member wouldn't have to see it. Most local police stations should have a dedicated contact email that is checked regularly, and scheduling an email to send after you pass is fairly simple. What do you mean by being afraid to be alone?

Thank you very much, I practice especially with my sister-in-law who is Polish and otherwise I use Google translate ^^ I don't think contacting the police is a good idea, I'm afraid of having more restrictions if the attempt ultimately fails or I decide not to do it. In addition, my mother works for the city and knows the local police personnel quite well. The idea of getting under some blankets might be a good idea. Or maybe put a note on the door? What I mean by the fear of being alone is if ever there is a problem, I end up being taken to the hospital, my family will be far away and won't be able to come home right away, and I I'm afraid of not managing psychologically... This is why I must not fail, the consequences are too disastrous.

Google and Yandex translate seem to be pretty good! Using Yandex I can also parler Français something that could make the time go quicker would be to do something fun. Go all out and do things you always wanted to but never thought you would do, like hang gliding, visiting the empire state building, etc.. OK, those ones might be bad ideas in particular, but you get my meaning! Just have lots of fun and enjoy.. above all, best of luck, and finding peace.

To make these two months bearable, you could try researching interesting topics, start watching a really long series, discover new things in general (music, youtubers, books etc.) or if your energy levels are low I would try just sleeping through most days.

At the moment a good part of my time is taken up by my work. The only big stress is to pass my exams and submit my dissertation, I can't.. I have a lot of trouble motivating myself to do things, nothing amuse me, I'm so depressed

 

[ferrie]

Thank you very much, I practice especially with my sister-in-law who is Polish and otherwise I use Google translate ^^ I don't think contacting the police is a good idea, I'm afraid of having more restrictions if the attempt ultimately fails or I decide not to do it. In addition, my mother works for the city and knows the local police personnel quite well. The idea of getting under some blankets might be a good idea. Or maybe put a note on the door? What I mean by the fear of being alone is if ever there is a problem, I end up being taken to the hospital, my family will be far away and won't be able to come home right away, and I I'm afraid of not managing psychologically... This is why I must not fail, the consequences are too disastrous.



At the moment a good part of my time is taken up by my work. The only big stress is to pass my exams and submit my dissertation, I can't.. I have a lot of trouble motivating myself to do things, nothing amuse me, I'm so depressed

With scheduled emails, you can cancel them if you no longer wish for the message to be sent. If the attempt fails or you decide not to go through with it, you could simply cancel the email. I understand not being fully comfortable with it though. I've had a fairly recent failed attempt, and being alone in the hospital is quite hard. I hope that isn't a situation you end up in