Venting Need to get this out

[tiredbeing]

I'm a 20 year old woman, turning 21 in a few days. It shocks me, because as a teenager I never thought I would even make it to 20. It should give me some hope or comfort, but it doesn't. I regret not taking my life sooner and just being done with it. Gone.

I'm so tired. I have been living with depression, social anxiety and eating disorders most of my life. Last time I remember being mentally healthy, I was a child. I have tried and fought so hard to recover and function like a normal human. But now I'm tired, the kind of tired sleep can't fix. I barely function at work, all of my days are working and sleeping. I wasn't meant for this world.

I think about ending it all of the time. But my mother and siblings have been through as much shit as me because of my father, and I don't want to cause them more pain now. Yet I can't see another way out. I just wish there was a way to disappear without causing so much pain.

 

[WorthlessCoward]

Yeah, 13 was the way to go for me

 

[FuneralCry]

I also certainly wish that I left at a much earlier date, I'm 22 now and I know that I've been trapped in this world for far too long, in fact I really should had never existed at all in the first place. But it's very much understandable just wishing that you were gone as there is just no relief from suffering in this world and it does sound so tiring what you've had to endure. I also see myself as not being meant for existing in any way, but in my case I could never wish to be here.
I wish you the best.