shinji_ikari

shinji_ikari

I have no mouth and I must scream
Jun 28, 2023
9
So I am a 5'0, 140 pound girl. I need help with a method. I have bpd and depression and my family hates me. I have no friends and sit in my room all day. I'm ugly and disgusting. My body is gross. I just really want everything to be over with. I have a bf and I want to let him down easy when I ctb. Need help.
 
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Water-Lily

Water-Lily

Enlightened
Dec 26, 2020
1,193
So I am a 5'0, 140 pound girl. I need help with a method. I have bpd and depression and my family hates me. I have no friends and sit in my room all day. I'm ugly and disgusting. My body is gross. I just really want everything to be over with. I have a bf and I want to let him down easy when I ctb. Need help.
I'm not going to give you a method on suicide (I just don't feel thats right) but I want to say that I can relate

I am also a girl. I came from a trauamtic/narcissistic family where abuse trauma fucked me up. Though I dont have a bf/gf, I struggle with a lot of mental health issues

I see that your name and pfp is in relation to Evangelion. Its one of my favorite anime (though I never saw the rebuilds)

If you don't mind me asking, what do you like about the anime?
 
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shinji_ikari

shinji_ikari

I have no mouth and I must scream
Jun 28, 2023
9
I'm not going to give you a method on suicide (I just don't feel thats right) but I want to say that I can relate

I am also a girl. I came from a trauamtic/narcissistic family where abuse trauma fucked me up. Though I dont have a bf/gf, I struggle with a lot of mental health issues

I see that your name and pfp is in relation to Evangelion. Its one of my favorite anime (though I never saw the rebuilds)

If you don't mind me asking, what do you like about the anime?
I never watched the rebuild either, heard it isn't even worth watching and mostly fan service.


I like the anime because I relate a lot to shinji. I am a coward and more trouble then I am worth. My mom told me maybe an hour ago that I mean nothing to her.. I guess I just wish I could pilot a robot too instead of just being a loser with no robot lol. I just sit in my room a feel sorry for myself all day.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,890
I understand that it's so tiring and awful feeling trapped in an existence you hate, there really is too much suffering in existing. I hope that you find what you are searching for, best wishes.
 
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W

whywere

Illuminated
Jun 26, 2020
3,027
Howdy!

Very 1st off, you are NOT ugly, gross, NOTHING EVER! You are a beautiful, caring soul. Reading your post, I 100% truly felt a warm, loving presence called YOU!

You have a boyfriend and if I may be so bold as to say that I consider you a very good friend, we are ALL the same and you have a pure heart of gold.

I am 67, reference point, and I have been through the mill of life, 2 attempts and the list truly go on and I had to respond to you, as it was if a lightning bolt hit me with a WOW, she is an awesome spirit!

I still work, so I am not on a lot sometimes, but if you ever want to pm me, I will feel it as an honor to say howdy to you always.

Sending you lots of HUGE HUGS, love, caring, understanding and the knowledge that you are a shining light to/for me.

Walter
 
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T

thornyrose

Member
Jun 30, 2023
15
I know nothing about methods. However, if you want me to teach you all that I know about losing weight, healing from BPD and/or managing depression with supplements and other non-medical interventions, you can (preferably) PM me or write on this thread to ask me more. I'm a bit of a slow responder, being an extreme introvert, but I do care.

What your mother is doing has got nothing to do with you. I know it hurts a lot. But it's got nothing to do with you, it's all about her. You're a perfectly loveable human being and deserve all the good in the world.
 
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shinji_ikari

shinji_ikari

I have no mouth and I must scream
Jun 28, 2023
9
Idk how to pm but thank u sm for trying to help. I'll figure it out because I really wanna talk.
 
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MrDarkness

MrDarkness

Left sasu, to improve my life
Jun 18, 2023
1,066
I mean if you leave your bf before an attempt, and you survive, it's going to be awkward to come back, but if you do it while your in the relationship. It will leave extreme guilt to your partner. They would probably blame themselves. Overall a shitty situation.
 
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shinji_ikari

shinji_ikari

I have no mouth and I must scream
Jun 28, 2023
9
I mean if you leave your bf before an attempt, and you survive, it's going to be awkward to come back, but if you do it while your in the relationship. It will leave extreme guilt to your partner. They would probably blame themselves. Overall a shitty situation.
Well im not gonna break up with him. I'll just give him a ton of stuff and tell him I'll always watch over him. I really wanna die but I don't wanna leave him alone with these horrible people on the planet. I just want him to be strong and do something with his life because I couldn't. I feel like I'm always holding him back. I wanna leave and let him thrive but I'm scared ill do the opposite.
 
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shinji_ikari

shinji_ikari

I have no mouth and I must scream
Jun 28, 2023
9
Well im not gonna break up with him. I'll just give him a ton of stuff and tell him I'll always watch over him. I really wanna die but I don't wanna leave him alone with these horrible people on the planet. I just want him to be strong and do something with his life because I couldn't. I feel like I'm always holding him back. I wanna leave and let him thrive but I'm scared ill do the opposite

You unlock pms at 15 posts/comments
Oh sick thanks!
 
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MrDarkness

MrDarkness

Left sasu, to improve my life
Jun 18, 2023
1,066
Well im not gonna break up with him. I'll just give him a ton of stuff and tell him I'll always watch over him. I really wanna die but I don't wanna leave him alone with these horrible people on the planet. I just want him to be strong and do something with his life because I couldn't. I feel like I'm always holding him back. I wanna leave and let him thrive but I'm scared ill do the opposite.
Tell him how you really feel
 
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