Help need advice please

[untameduniquer]

Hello guys this is my first time posting on here, bare with me english is not my first language, but I need some advice (hopefully someone answers lol). so i plan on ctb very soon and I don't have a date because i'm still deciding on my method in a way and i am going to further explain why.

So, i plan to ctb by hanging full suspension with a polyester rope from my closet rod in my room, i've tested it already and it took me about 15-30 secs to fall unconscious so i assume it'll work but i've seen a couple of threads/ comments that my legs shouldn't be touching the ground but my legs were kinda touching the ground (i'm about 120 pounds and i am 5'3) for reference. will my plan succeed even if my feet is touching the ground slightly or will i need to move my rope a bit higher so i'm not touching the ground?? also how do i get over my Si instincts?? i need to be sure that this works and i succeed because i don't want to live anymore at all due to personal reasons so please if you see this please share your opinions and any advice would be helpful.

also my friend who is (21) i'm (20) brought me a gun (firearm) for protection, and sometimes my minds wonders if i should use it to cbt, because it'll be quick and painless, and that's what i wanted my method to include but then again i always remind myself that i can't, because i don't want to leave this earth knowing that i've left my friend traumatized and full of guilt because i'm sure she'll blame herself.. i know hanging is also another reliable method so i've decided to just go with hanging, do you guys agree?? I really need opinions on this topic because i've been going back and forth with myself, and if i did ctb with the firearm it would be a gunshot to the chest, so even then i might as well just stick to hanging because if i plan right i'll succeed and I won't leave this world knowing that i did that to my friend.

is hanging quick & painless really?? i mean i almost lost consciousness but i quickly took the rope off my neck so i didn't really experience it fully, thank you guys so much in advance for all your help and advice.

 

[scary]

Honestly if I were in your shoes, between the firearm and hanging, I'd choose the firearm.

The whole "feet touching the ground slightly and it not being an issue" thing is for partial hanging, not full suspension in most cases, so if I were you I'd rework it and place the rope higher if that's your choice. Guns are typically more effective for suicide (and in your case quicker and relatively pain free) but at the same time more dangerous depending on where you place the gun. There are many instances of people being permanently crippled because they placed the gun in the wrong spot, so please for the love of god be careful with the placement and never place it under your chin.

I've told someone else on here about this and I'll repeat it for you:

Please never feel guilty about what your friends and/or loved ones would think. I understand the guilt of thinking your friend would put herself to blame for giving you the gun in the first place, but at the same time if you do go through with it you'll be gone and will never hear of any worries and personal blaming your friend may or may not put on herself. At the end of the day, it's your choice not hers. It's neither of your faults if you choose to go through with it.

Best wishes if you do go through with it. For getting over your SI I personally can't help in that regard because I'm still here and trying to get over mine. Again personally I'd choose the gun but at the end of the day it's your call. Guns are just more guaranteed than hanging statistically. There's a lot of work and planning when it comes to one hanging themselves.