Help Need advice/help with method

[sadandneedhelp]

Hi, I'm 15 years old and i live in California. ive been suicidal for 5 years and have been hospitalized many times. i just recently experienced something in my life that has pushed me to the edge. i am seriously considering taking my own life. a lot of things in my life are so unbearable and each day gets worse and worse. my meds dont help, therapy doesnt do enough, and i dont care about my future.
After a few days of research(which has been hard because theres barely to nothing of this shit online) i have decided on half sus hanging. Im still not eduated enough to do it yet. i dont even know if i want to do it yet because i dont want to hurt my parents,, but as of right now, life has become way too unbearable. i dont know how i should hang myself because im pretty sure we dont have a rope i can use. i also read scarfs dont work well. i would really like if someone can help me with one or two things:
1. how to stop thinking about someting thats extremely triggering-- no matter how much i try i cant stop, which makes each day worse
2. How i can successfully kill myself by hanging. Id do gun to the head but my family doesnt own a gun. i cant OD either because its success rate is so low and i dont even know if i have the right shit for it.

ps; sorry for my grammar and spelling errors, im typing on a shitty computer and my eyes are strained, and please be kind. thank you so much.

 

[lv-gras]

can't help much with the second question, sorry.

for the first, can you find something distracting? something to do or watch or listen to?

offers sympathies and hugs if you like that.

 

[Shewaitsforme]

As you said your not even sure if you want to do it therefore dont, not yet. As a say in all cases regardless of age, suicide should be approached with a rational, clear head, no doubt and full understanding of what the action means for the person and even in part awknowledge the impact their suicide could bring on others. If your not at that stage then i urge you to wait.

 

[Red star]

Hi, I'm 15 years old and i live in California. ive been suicidal for 5 years and have been hospitalized many times. i just recently experienced something in my life that has pushed me to the edge. i am seriously considering taking my own life. a lot of things in my life are so unbearable and each day gets worse and worse. my meds dont help, therapy doesnt do enough, and i dont care about my future.
After a few days of research(which has been hard because theres barely to nothing of this shit online) i have decided on half sus hanging. Im still not eduated enough to do it yet. i dont even know if i want to do it yet because i dont want to hurt my parents,, but as of right now, life has become way too unbearable. i dont know how i should hang myself because im pretty sure we dont have a rope i can use. i also read scarfs dont work well. i would really like if someone can help me with one or two things:
1. how to stop thinking about someting thats extremely triggering-- no matter how much i try i cant stop, which makes each day worse
2. How i can successfully kill myself by hanging. Id do gun to the head but my family doesnt own a gun. i cant OD either because its success rate is so low and i dont even know if i have the right shit for it.

ps; sorry for my grammar and spelling errors, im typing on a shitty computer and my eyes are strained, and please be kind. thank you so much.

What are you needing that will help you stay? (love, support, understanding etc.) then brainstorm ways to get what you need. Other forms of treatment is connecting with nature, spirituality, understanding causes to how you feel and seeing things in the future that might get what you need.

There are still a lot of resources and avenues for you to try. There is hope you just might not be aware of it at the moment

 

[therhydler]

Hey! I'm really sorry you are feeling this way. Whenever I felt bad in the past and had obsessive thoughts I used to watch videos by a guy called Noah Elkrief on youtube and sometimes they could really help me. They do nothing for me now but I'm writing about it just in case you will find it useful.

As for the hanging I am yet to try it and also need all the advice I can get :/

 

[sadandneedhelp]

What are you needing that will help you stay? (love, support, understanding etc.) then brainstorm ways to get what you need. Other forms of treatment is connecting with nature, spirituality, understanding causes to how you feel and seeing things in the future that might get what you need.

There are still a lot of resources and avenues for you to try. There is hope you just might not be aware of it at the moment

Something that would help me stay is finding someone real, someone loyal, someone trust worthy etc etc etc. someone who truly loves me and I have a best friend bond with. I've been so hurt in the past I've lost hope for this. It would be nice is I was caught up in school because I'm so so soooo far behind due to my depression . I can't even explain how mad my teacher must be at me. It would be nice to have a pet cat that I've been wanting for awhile now, (it's therapeutic for me) but I mean there's only so much an animal can do. I just wish I found someone real for once. I just recently got out of a terrible breakup and I'm hurting more each and every day and I can't stop thinking about him and his new girlfriend he got SO quickly as well. I've never been so suicidal. The cops almost came to my door today, j had to delete all of my social media's and shut down my phone and all of this bullshit.

 

[sadandneedhelp]

Hey! I'm really sorry you are feeling this way. Whenever I felt bad in the past and had obsessive thoughts I used to watch videos by a guy called Noah Elkrief on youtube and sometimes they could really help me. They do nothing for me now but I'm writing about it just in case you will find it useful.

As for the hanging I am yet to try it and also need all the advice I can get :/

I will check it out. Thank you so much for sharing. Please let me know if you find any more info on hanging because I want to be able to do it successfully. Much love xx

 

[sadandneedhelp]

As you said your not even sure if you want to do it therefore dont, not yet. As a say in all cases regardless of age, suicide should be approached with a rational, clear head, no doubt and full understanding of what the action means for the person and even in part awknowledge the impact their suicide could bring on others. If your not at that stage then i urge you to wait.

My problem is, I'm either 100% in or out. I'll be so determined to kill my self for SO long and then I come across temporary happiness, then the cycle continues. Nothing has been helping me and I am extremely unhappy with the life I have right now . I've been dealing with wanting to kill my self for years now and I've tried before in the past. Right now I am sure that I want to die. I just need to know more information about hanging because I really do not want to wake up a vegetable

 

[sadandneedhelp]

can't help much with the second question, sorry.

for the first, can you find something distracting? something to do or watch or listen to?

offers sympathies and hugs if you like that.

It's okay, replying to this is enough for me!!
My issue with the distracting method is i have no motivation to go anywhere or do anything. I never get out of my bed anymore, not even to eat. I can barely take care of myself because I am in so much emotional pain it's so unbearable. I've been trying to watch Netflix or YouTube but all I can think about is my issues. It's so hard for me to keep my mind off it. God I feed crazy.

 

[MsM3talGamer]

Hugs for you! xxx