Help how do i help my friend with depression as a depressed person myself?

[bludgeoned]

how do i help my friend ? they have severe self-loathing, depression, ptsd, attachment issues, ect

they hate themselves so much they say that i dont love them, but i do love them a lot, so much. but they love me to an unhealthy extent and i dont know what to do. they also frequently visit parts of sites that they know will make them worse, and just dont seem to be getting better. they had so much happen to them, and i mean SO much. i dont want to give details for the entire internet but their life has been so so terrible to them. they say they dont feel safe around/by themselves currently

recently i went through a suicide attempt and they got mad at me and that made me feel really bad and then they did it after because they said they wanted me to care but i do and i just dont know if this is normal for friends and i dont know what to do and they think im going to leave them all the time and i love them a lot but how they act makes me really sad and i dont know what to say because i also have depression (mdd) and ptsd and you'd think thatd make me better but im not and i havent been through as much as them so i dont know what to say

they think splitting up is the best thing for our friendship because they say they are making me worse and i dont know what to do because im scared they might do something, theyre not manipulative or anything and im not staying just for this fact but also because i like my friend. i just dont know what to do.

theres so much more but i just dont know what to do its already long enough also sorry if this doesnt go in recovery i just want to help

this is very watered down, our relationship is very complex but for the sake of this post i just want to get to the point.

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

Your friend may have issues, but sounds very toxic. It isn't your responsibility to fix your friend, it is down to them to sort their own problems - you can still be there for them, but also take care of yourself at the same time.

How can you possibly do anything, when you're suffering yourself? If you knew how to help someone with depression, wouldn't you have tried whatever already for yourself?

In my opinion, you need to focus on yourself. I understand why you do this though, I used to be this way, until I learned boundaries, and that I'm also important. You're not going to get better if you focus on helping your friend, and forget about yourself. Trust me, definitely not.

 

[bludgeoned]

Your friend may have issues, but sounds very toxic. It isn't your responsibility to fix your friend, it is down to them to sort their own problems - you can still be there for them, but also take care of yourself at the same time.

How can you possibly do anything, when you're suffering yourself? If you knew how to help someone with depression, wouldn't you have tried whatever already for yourself?

In my opinion, you need to focus on yourself. I understand why you do this though, I used to be this way, until I learned boundaries, and that I'm also important. You're not going to get better if you focus on helping your friend, and forget about yourself. Trust me, definitely not.

thank you

 

[AbsentMindedHuman]

recently i went through a suicide attempt and they got mad at me and that made me feel really bad and then they did it after because they said they wanted me to care but i do and i just dont know if this is normal for friends and i dont know what to do and they think im going to leave them all the time and i love them a lot but how they act makes me really sad and i dont know what to say because i also have depression (mdd) and ptsd and you'd think thatd make me better but im not and i havent been through as much as them so i dont know what to say

I struggle with this myself. For starters, @MyTimeIsUp is right, you need to focus on yourself and at the end of the day you can only do so much for your friend before the responsibility falls onto them. I think the best thing you can do for someone like that is to just be present, availible, and open. Maybe they dont want you to say anything, maybe they just want you to be around. Actions speak louder than words. I have lots of friends who say they want me to talk to them when im feeling my worst but when it comes down to it, they have no idea what to say or do. I dont need them to talk to me because it usually wont help. but I sure do like it when they are around for that time when I do want to say something. Hope this helps.

 

[bludgeoned]

I struggle with this myself. For starters, @MyTimeIsUp is right, you need to focus on yourself and at the end of the day you can only do so much for your friend before the responsibility falls onto them. I think the best thing you can do for someone like that is to just be present, availible, and open. Maybe they dont want you to say anything, maybe they just want you to be around. Actions speak louder than words. I have lots of friends who say they want me to talk to them when im feeling my worst but when it comes down to it, they have no idea what to say or do. I dont need them to talk to me because it usually wont help. but I sure do like it when they are around for that time when I do want to say something. Hope this helps.

it does, thank you