• Hey Guest,

    If you would still like to donate, you still can. We have more than enough funds to cover operating expenses for quite a while, so don't worry about donating if you aren't able. If you want to donate something other than what is listed, you can contact RainAndSadness.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9

    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

H

Heartbroken Nurse

Member
Apr 6, 2024
14
My original method of choice was an exit bag with nitrogen. However, it's pretty hard to obtain all of the things you need to go out that way properly. In desperation to CTB, I bought a length of rope today with the intent of partial hanging.

I read the advice on this website. I watched videos. I looked at diagrams. I tried to practice compressing my carotids manually and it did not work. I bought the rope and watched a video on how to tie a slipknot. Just testing out the slipknot by pulling on the other end by hand, I was able to almost pass out. Gagging was an issue but significantly less of a problem once I moved the rope down further closer to my collarbones. I cleaned my house and left everything how I would want it to be seen when people come into my house and find me. I tied the rope to the stair railing and sat on the bottom step while I practiced.

I almost went through with it tonight. I had everything set up, all of my letters written and laid out as well as my final wishes for my funeral. But tonight is not the night. But now I know I have a cheaper alternative than the nitrogen.

Thank you all for your help. This site has given me comfort because I can't talk to anyone else about my wishes. If you tell anybody what you want to do, they just want to lock you up instead of giving you the freedom to make your own choice about your own life. This is not a decision I have come to lightly. I have put much thought for many months into this and I know what I want. People like to say that suicide is selfish but I think what is selfish is forcing someone to endure mental torment, and in some of our cases physical pain, for the rest of their lives in order to prevent the sadness of others from our passing. I am an educated person with an advanced degree. I am a nurse who has seen death many times over and I have brought lives into the world many times over. I understand the value of life. But I also understand the right to decide when life is no longer what you want. I'm so glad to have found this website full of like-minded people. I wish that we all had and no reason to feel the way that we do. But that is not the world we live in. I'm glad we have each other and can support each other in silence so that we are not going through these things alone.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Marshy63, Umua, seph25 and 12 others
nymphojuno

nymphojuno

girlfail (he/him)
Nov 30, 2023
25
i wish you peace on your journey and i'm happy that you've found a method that works for you. wishing you all the best
 
T

thenamingofcats

annihilation anxiety
Apr 19, 2024
453
It's good to hear about your success, especially so early on. This is my method too so it's always comforting to hear someone has experimented and had success. The stair rail is genius. At least in the US the code is they should support 300 pounds. I forget about the most obvious stuff.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
35,287
I wish you the best, I imagine it must be a relief having access to a method you feel confident in.
 
A

Autumn_Stars

Member
Jun 9, 2024
7
This website is a treasure to me and so was the original ASH. I don't want to hang. I want Dignitas to help. But here I sit in my shared house with my slipknot and the closet door that is my only option in my private room. Most concerning-pain and the 70% failure rate. Thinking about making bloody Marys. I recall twenty years ago seeing a photograph of a suicide vicitim surrounded by empties although I am not a huge drinker. I read that Kate Spade did partial with a silk scarf. Classy and comfortable I guess. If I still had my good job I would want to live. Not judging you just noting how ironic it is.
 
  • Love
Reactions: 4everHeartBroken

Similar threads

dazed.daydreamer
Replies
6
Views
565
Suicide Discussion
Someone123
S
S
Replies
11
Views
398
Suicide Discussion
spentspirit
S
bunintherug
Replies
0
Views
155
Suicide Discussion
bunintherug
bunintherug
todeswunsch
Replies
2
Views
398
Suicide Discussion
motoko_s9
M